This post is probably going to be a hard pill to swallow for some people, including myself and some of the people I care about most.
I feel like there's a clandestine
killer entering a lot of our homes and relationships. But we don't
look for the murderous beast and try to eradicate it. We treasure,
coddle, and prune it.
What's the name of the beast?
Sarcasm.
I know. Shoot me now.
I actually read a blog post years ago
in which the author tried, in vain, to convince the readers that
sarcasm really has no place in the Christian home. I balked and
pushed it aside.
Whatever, I thought. People
who don't appreciate the beauty of sarcasm are humorless half-wits,
right? What kind of spineless Christians are we growing if they can't
even handle a little sarcasm?
But obviously, the Holy Spirit kept it in the back of my mind. He
knew I'd come to a point in my spiritual growth where I'd see the
truth...and now I'm the crazy blogger trying to convince you of the
evils of sarcasm.
Fantastic. God be with me.
First, let's define sarcasm for the purposes of this post. See
the line right above this one? The one where I said, “fantastic”?
I obviously did not MEAN that was fantastic. I actually meant, “this
is probably going to be crappy and hard.” That, my friends, is
irony.
Simple irony hurts no one. It's merely saying the opposite of what I
actually mean.
Then, there's sarcasm, and the definition alone may
convey my point better than the rest of this blog post:
sar·casm
ˈsärˌkazəm/
noun
the
use of irony to mock or convey contempt.
"his
voice, hardened by sarcasm, could not hide his resentment"
|
synonyms:
|
"well,
it's easy to see that she got her biting sarcasm from her mother"
|
OUCH. Did you see that example? That, my friends did NOT come from
me. Google the word, and that's what you get: Well, it's easy to
see that she got her biting sarcasm from her mother.
Sarcasm isn't just irony. It is NOT just
saying the opposite of what you mean. Instead, it's using that device
to mock or convey contempt. OUCH.
Now, let's look at how we use this in
our homes?
Mom to son: Well, THAT was smart.
Translation: That
was really stupid.
Father
to daughter: As always, we can depend on you.
Translation: You
are not dependable and incapable.
Mom
to Dad: Great job, genius!
Translation: You
are a moron!
These are
simplified and obvious examples, but they're powerful. Children
understand this at a very young age. Are these really the messages we
want to send to them?
You're stupid.
You're incapable. Your other parent is moronic.
Now,
if you need more proof, let's take a look at how scripture says we
should and should
not be speaking to one another.
Death and life are
in the power of the tongue,
and those who love
it will eat its fruits.
Proverbs
18:21
Let no corrupt talk
come out of your mouths,
but only such as
is good for building up,
as fits the
occasion, that it may give grace to those who hear.
Ephesians
4:29
But what comes out
of the mouth proceeds from the heart,
and this defiles a
person.
Matthew
5:18
The words of the
reckless pierce like swords,
but the tongue of
the wise brings healing.
Proverbs
12:18
Let your speech
always be gracious, seasoned with salt,
so that you may know
how you ought to answer each person.
Colossians
4:6
But I tell you that
everyone will have to give an account on the
day of judgment for
every empty word they have spoken.
Matthew
12:37
These are just a few among so many. While we may dismiss our words as
unimportant, God has seen fit to address the issue time and time
again in His word. HE says our words are of extreme importance.
God says our words hold either
life or death.
In essence, when we use sarcasm, what we're really doing is placing
ourselves above the person we're speaking to. We're talking down to
them.
Sarcasm, at it's core, is haughty
and prideful.
Do nothing out of
selfish ambition or vain conceit.
Rather, in humility
value others above yourself.
Philippians
2:3
I think the reality of the situation is clear. It's a hard pill to
swallow, though. There's no doubt about that.
I also want to clearly state that, while I have been convicted about
this, I understand some of you may not share this conviction...yet. I
think this one takes time, and I'm not judging anyone who isn't on
the same timeline.
Nevertheless, unlike my clothing convictions (that I've SO poorly
kept to since pregnancy), I do feel this lesson applies to everyone.
The Bible is clear, but the question is this:
Will we heed
the words of our Creator and slay sarcasm before it has left our tongues, or will we continue to use this weapon to slay the people we love?
