Running Behind

"There he goes," I sighed to myself, as my husband's figure moved further and further away. "The distance between us just continues to grow."

No, Josiah isn't leaving, and I'm not writing a soap opera. I just can't keep up with him when we run.

I'm training for this 5K (although we have yet to actually choose one), and on Josiah's last day off, I asked him if he would run with me. The man hates cardio, but he loves me a lot, so he agreed.

It's been a while since we worked out together, however, and I forgot how much faster he is. At 6'5", he's a foot and a couple inches taller than I am, and I'm convinced at least 75% of the difference is in the length of our legs. 

Normally, I look like a Chihuahua, trying to keep up with a Great Dane, but because he was being really considerate, in this case, he looked more like a kangaroo - just bobbing up and down next to me. Of course, I told him to go ahead and run. We'd come back together during the walking stretches, but I had to let him actually stretch his legs.

As the space grew between us, for a brief minute, I started to get sad and put myself down. "He never does cardio, and he's legit kicking my butt. Why do I bother?"

Then, the Holy Spirit checked me. He said, "Run your race." 

Here's the thing, ya'll, God did not make me a 6'5" man with the legs of Michaelangelo's "David." He made me a 5'3" mother of seven with a propensity toward weight gain. I was not made to run as fast as Josiah. I was not made to run faster than most people.

But I have a race to run that's all my own.

We need people with us on our journeys toward our goals, but while we're traveling together, never forget for one second that we each have our own races to run - races God designed us for, and paying too much attention to where someone else is in their race compared to you will only distract you from running yours well.

So, I let Josiah run. I smiled when he turned around to check in on me, cheered him on from behind, and if I'm honest, allowed myself to enjoy the view. Then, when we walked, I'd catch up. In the end, our workouts looked different, but we finished together and our bodies, minds, and spirits were the better for it.

I doesn't matter who's ahead on the journey; it just matters that you're traveling with people you love. 

I'm Going On an Adventure

God started forming this post in my heart a week ago. In that time, it has changed and morphed. He's done SO MUCH. He's poured into my heart to the point where if I don't share, I think it may burst.

And that's the best time to share.

Last week, during breakfast with a sweet friend, I told her I started doing yoga again. I picked it back up because it helps my strength and flexibility, and, I said jokingly:

It strengthens my core. Apparently, God said this person I'm supposed to be is "statuesque." I don't know if you know this, but it physically HURTS to try to be statuesque without a strong core. Haha. There's probably a blog post in there somewhere.

 Oh...I didn't even know at the time.

Throughout this week, God has been showing me that it's about the process. There is value in the process.

Just over a month ago, God shared with me who He wants me to be (read about that here). When I wrote about it, I said it would take time, and I wasn't quite there yet, but somewhere deep inside, I thought, "Now that I know who I'm supposed to be, I have to start acting like that."

And it hurt...because I wasn't ready.

What I didn't realize at the time is God still has so much work to do in me in order to become that person. I cannot skip the process. There are idols to be overcome, thoughts to be cleared out, and fears to be faced.

In Alice in Wonderland, Alice didn't get her muchness back because she was told that's who she was. She had to go through the journey. She had to face her adventure.

I came to the most amazing realization today.

My adventure doesn't start when I become the person I'm supposed to be. My adventure is in the becoming. It's in the fire. It's in the Word separating bone from marrow and carving me into the person I'm supposed to be.

The power is in the journey.

And now I'm free.

Now I'm free to run and pursue and preach and screw up and bask in God's glorious grace because TODAY I am exactly where I need to be. Today I am exactly who I need to be, and as long as I take the time to pursue God and sit at His feet, He'll take care of who I'm supposed to be 10 years from now or 10 days from now, or heck, 10 minutes from now.

That's it, my friends. Normally I try to wrap this all up neatly with a bow and a probing question, but not today.

This is it. I don't know where YOU are, but wherever that is, I hope this helps you on your journey as much as it has helped me on my own.

You are loved, by me and by a glorious, almighty God.