Father's Day

Photo credit: Amanda Truth Photography

This weekend we celebrate the most important male figures in our lives (or at least who should be): our fathers.

As a father, I see my kids growing so quickly - the words they're using now, the conversations they have and try to have, even when you can't understand them. None of them crawl any more; they're running. They're trying to have serious conversations with us about something that's obviously very important to them, but almost impossible to convey, whatever it is.

This is a vital time in their lives: an exciting time, a time full of changes and influence.

One of my friends said he wants to make absolutely sure he can be around for every little moment as his future child grows up.

I was thinking, there is something with my children that is even more important to me than watching them grow up.

I want to watch them grow deep.

In life, there are going to be times of trouble, heartache, unexpected storms, and the only way to make it through is by the strength of the roots.

Fathers: tend the roots!

He will be like a tree firmly planted by streams of water,

which yields its fruit in season

and its leaf does not whither;

And in whatever he does, he prospers.

Psalm 1:3

The foundation you lay will determine their self-confidence and trust in those around them.

Often, we don't understand the power we have as fathers, or we wish to deny it. With great power comes great responsibility, as we all learned from a certain web-slinger and his father-figure uncle.

It's true though.

Sometimes, our children will define their own path and struggle in spite of a good foundation that's been laid, and some of our children will find the right path in spite of the fathers we are.

This is not an excuse to back off and let God have His way, because He made it very clear to us His way is for us to be more than involved.

It's for us to be a foundation that they can build upon.

As a father, I want you to know a few things.

• You matter more than they think you do.

What you do, how you act, how you teach your children to behave, whether or not you can sit down and have a conversation with them, whether or not you can have a spiritual conversation with them will have more to do with their lives than almost anyone else they will ever come into contact with.

• You matter more than you think you do.

Your perspective of yourself, your marriage, your wife, and your kids will be a huge factor in how they think of themselves, what they believe about marriage, and how a husband should treat his wife.

How you treat things of God, how you react when God moves, and moments when you wait in expectation... if you include them in these, they will gain a perspective of God very few ever gain without spending a long time searching for themselves.

• It's okay to admit it when you've messed up.

It's a sign of strength to be able to admit to anyone when you're wrong, not a sign of weakness. Your kids will respect you for it and will admire the fact that you cared enough about them to apologize instead of taking a hard line.

It creates an atmosphere where they can admit when they mess up because it shows that their dad is human, and it's okay if they are too.

• Let them know that you're not always in control.

There are situations you just can't handle and were never meant to. Let the people around you know.

If we are honest, we are NEVER in complete control.

If a paycheck comes in late, you don't control it. If the transmission goes out in the car while on vacation, it probably means things are going to work out a bit differently than planned (I have personal experience with both of these.)

Stress does no one any favors, but letting God do God-things, and giving Him the credit when it happens, teaches faith in a way nothing else can.

• Let your yes be yes, and your no be no.

What this means in my family is a whole lot of maybes, we'll sees, and I hope sos.

I know the kids really hate it, but I would much rather them be disappointed at the initial answer than be disappointed that I broke a promise or wasn't a man of my word.

I'd rather have them be disappointed in my response than my character.

If it's not something I feel absolute about, then I cannot say absolutely, but will do my best to make it happen.

Fathers:

The world needs you. Your children need you.

There is no bench. There are no sidelines.

This is not a game.

There are no buzzer-beaters.

There are always extra innings, and overtime is typically a requirement.

However, depending on the children, a penalty box may be helpful. We typically have to settle for corners.

For those who do not have children yet, but wish for them, know that I pray for you often. There are people around you who will need you to have a similar influence.

I love you, and I pray that God will allow you the opportunity to teach and lead in love as a father.

The ultimate challenge is this:

Be the father they think you are; be the father you wish you had.

Lives depend on it.

Be on your guard;

stand firm in the faith;

be courageous;

be strong.

1 Corinthians 16:13

The Worship Experience

Oh come, let us worship and bow down;

let us kneel before the Lord, our Maker.

Psalm 95:6

Last night, our family attended The Worship Experience at our new church, Freedom Life Church (FLC). I went prepared to..."worship," aka sing a lot of "worship" songs and have some fun praising God.

I left having experienced WORSHIP, and it was POWERFUL.

Unfortunately, I didn't know what to say beyond that.  I felt a strong urge to write about it. I posted on facebook that it was an experience like nothing I had ever had...but how to put that experience into WORDS?

If you Google the definition of "worship" you get: 

wor·ship

ˈwərSHəp/

noun

1. 1.

   the feeling or expression of reverence and adoration for a deity.

   "the worship of God"

   synonyms:

   reverence, veneration, adoration, glorification, glory, exaltation; More

verb

1. 1.

   show reverence and adoration for (a deity); honor with religious rites.

   "the Maya built jungle pyramids to worship their gods"

   synonyms:

   revere, reverence, venerate, pay homage to, honor, adore, praise, pray to, glorify,exalt, extol;

In the grand scheme of things, I guess that's about what I expected...a feeling...an expression. 

I expected ME...MY actions...MY worship. But then, GOD. 

It started much like many other worship experiences I've had: God showed up in my life in a major way to show me how much He loves me. Man...I must really take that for granted.

Earlier in the day yesterday, I posted on facebook about the C-section we have scheduled this Wednesday. I SAID I was "praising God for His goodness and sovereignty," because when I was writing the post all I could think of was the song, Good Good Father,  by Chris Tomlin.

You're a good, good Father, it's who You are...it's who You are.

As I was posting it, I knew of His goodness and power, but that didn't stop the FEAR because that's the reality. I have been absolutely terrified at the thought of lying there on a table, awake, while they cut me open and take out my baby. Terrified.

And then, of all the songs we could have possibly sung last night, what was the very first? Good Good Father...and I remembered, sang, and experienced the second part of the chorus:

You're a good, good Father; it's who You are...it's who You are.

And I'm loved by You; it's who I am...it's who I am.

When I posted to facebook, I knew He was a good, good Father...but I forgot that my entire identity as His child is encapsulated in the fact that I am LOVED by Him. It is WHO I AM.

He loves me...more deeply than I can ever possibly imagine..and He, the God of the entire universe, reached down to show me that by ordaining the very first song as mine. 

That's not the first time that has happened to me, though, so had it ended there. It would have been like a big, fat hug from Jesus (which once again, I think I take for granted), but last night was...so much MORE.

TWO HOURS, ya'll. We spent TWO HOURS, in song and in prayer, falling at the feet of the Creator of the Universe, expressing HIS MIGHT and HIS GLORY and HIS SOVEREIGNTY.

When you do that, spend that much time laying down at the feet of God and expressing His greatness, something amazing happens: everything else ceases to matter.

That's not to say that it all disappears.

People walked in there with money problems...
People walked in there with marriage problems...
People walked in there with health issues...
People walked in with walls and strongholds...

And guess what...people walked out of the building with a lot of those same things, BUT (and it's a BIG but), spending that much time and energy in worship puts every, single one of those things into perspective.

True worship doesn't make them disappear, but it shows how scrawny and insignificant they are in light of who HE is. And that, my friends, is POWERFUL.

As I write this, it occurs to me that it's still beyond words. Every attempt I make pales in comparison to the actual thing.

I'll never be able to put it into words.

However, there is a bottom line:

No matter what you're going through, today - no matter how hard, bad, frustrating or heart-breaking - situations in your life may seem, they are no more than mere situations, and they are NOTHING in comparison to the goodness, love, and power of our God, who reigns now and forevermore.

Today, I would encourage you to take some time...however long it takes...lay your burdens at His feet, and just spend some time WORSHIPING Him and PRAISING Him for who He is, and whatever you lay down at the foot of His throne will diminish in the light of His glory.

Raise your hands. Get on your knees. Reach up to the Sky. Fall down on your face. Whatever it takes.

Today, experience worship.

Quick and Dirty: Are you a GOOD Christian?

(For those of you who are unfamiliar, a "Quick and Dirty" blog post here at Life Under Construction, is written on the fly with very little editing. Every now and then, it's just gotta get done.)

Every now and then, circumstances line up that give you an epiphany. 

This week, people everywhere have been talking about the Syrian refugee crisis, and more than once I've seen someone say, "I don't you telling me I'm a BAD Christian because...." A bad Christian.

Let's face it, no one wants to be a "bad Christian." We all want to be "good Christians," right?

I've also been reading Victory over the Darkness by Neil T. Anderson lately (which I wrote about here) about really KNOWING what your identity is in Christ.

Now, these two things would have coincided without me noticing, BUT THEN...

Yesterday, I was thinking about a situation. It's one where I was trying to FEEL differently because I was trying to FEEL the way I know a "GOOD" Christian should. But I couldn't...

So...I said, "that must mean I'm a bad Christian."

And that's when it hit me...there's no such thing. There's NO SUCH THING as a "good" or "bad" Christian. That's exactly what Mr. Anderson has been expressing in the chapter I was reading, it just took me a while to figure it out.

Christ died to save EVERYONE. If you've claimed Jesus Christ as your Savior, you're a Christian.

For God so loved the world,

that He gave His only begotten son

that whoever should believe in Him

shall not perish, but have everlasting life.

John 3:16

If you've put your faith in Christ, then you're a Christian.

I know what you might be thinking: Um...Alissa...there are bad Christians and good Christians. I've seen them. The man who's a deacon and studies his Bible all the time, that's a good Christian. The girl who's partying it up on Friday and Saturday and sitting her butt down in the church pew on Sunday, that's a bad Christian.

I know you might think that because that girl, the latter example, that was me for a while.

I've even thought to myself, I'm so different now...what if I was never even saved.

But that doesn't seem to make sense either. I've felt Jesus with me for as long as I can remember. I have him my heart long ago. Why, then, did I behave so foolishly at different points?

Because I didn't understand my IDENTITY in Christ. I didn't know WHO I was. I didn't realize my value.

I still don't...not all the way, anyway. 

Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation;

old things have passed away, and look, new things have come.

2 Corinthians 5:17

There's no middle ground. You're new or you're not.

So what happens?

Think about these 2 scenarios:

1. You have a benefactor that sends you money each month and takes care of your needs. You may know his name or a little about him, but that's about it. You just know the check comes every month.
2. You have a Dad. You love Him. He loves you. There's a relationship there. He would die for you; you know it, and you'd do anything for him.

In which scenario are you more secure? The money could always stop coming in the first, right? What if you fall out of grace?

See, Satan wants us to THINK that can happen to us. He wants us to think we're just one mistake away from too many. 

But that doesn't happen. He's our Heavenly Father, full of love and grace for His children.

Somewhere (and I don't have time to look it up at the moment) it says that the blood of Jesus has washed us clean. If you're a Christian, you now stand in front of God spotless and pure, no matter what you've done (Romans 3 maybe?).

I didn't get that. Every time I made a bad choice (and it was frequently because I wasn't looking to God for guidance). I hid my face in shame. I wasn't worthy.

The tricky part is, the more I hid my face in shame, the dirtier I felt, the worse my decisions got. 

I've said before that meeting Josiah and his family changed this for me, but I couldn't quite put my finger on HOW. Now, I know...they started to show me that my identity was in WHO I am, not what I had done.

When I understood that, I was able to look God full in the face, to begin to feel His grace. To understand that, no matter what, He wanted me to open myself up to Him...and He wanted me to get to know Him.

Anderson says it's being able to differentiate relationship from fellowship. You will always be your father's child. You can go to Timbuktu or Kalamazoo, and that won't change. Ever.

However, there can be a break of fellowship between you and your father. If you defy him, resist him, or run away from him, the relationship doesn't change (he's still your father), but things aren't right between you.

God is the perfect father. He's ALWAYS waiting for the prodigal to return, ALWAYS waiting for the stray sheep, ALWAYS seeking a return to fellowship with you.

You just have to be soft-hearted enough to receive Him.

So, if you're ever wondering if you're a good Christian or a bad Christian, wonder no more: there's no such thing.

You're just the same as the deacon with the Bible AND the girl doing the walk of shame on Sunday. 

Positionally, we're all the same.

But I URGE you to seek true fellowship with our Father. Walk with Him. Spend time with Him. Learn from Him. 

There's nothing like it.