Is it enough?

Generally, I like to have blog posts written in my head before I decide to share them with the world. This time, however, we're dealing with more of a jumble. At the suggestion of my dear friend, Alice, I've done a "brain dump" on paper, but it led to more and more questions.

So now...I'm bringing it all to you, dear internet. Make of it what you will. If you have answers, I'd love to hear them.

A couple months ago, I was driving along a nearby stretch of road. I've driven this road many times before and often marveled at the amount of churches that could lie along one roadway...it seems almost every Christian denomination imaginable is represented on this ONE street. There's even a Christian bookstore!

On this day, though, instead of just noticing the amount of churches, I had another thought: why isn't our city different? How can there be this many churches on one road, not even one block between them, representing only a fraction of the churches in the area...and our city not be on fire for God? The "Bible Belt?" The nation?

Then, last Saturday, Josiah and I went to worship at Freedom Life Church (FLC) in Hampton because he had to work on Sunday. We caught the second of a 4-part sermon series called "I Love My City."

I love the book of Nehemiah. Josiah and I were talking about it just the other day. Nevertheless, it was a different passage of scripture Pastor Cyon brought to my attention that totally rocked my world. It's Isaiah 58. Here it is almost in its entirety.

See if you can read it without it rocking YOUR world, too.

"Shout with the voice of a trumpet blast.

Shout aloud! Don't be timid.

Tell my people Israel of their sins!

Yet they act so pious!

They come to the Temple every day

and seem delighted to learn all about me.

They act like a righteous nation

that would never abandon the laws of its God.

They ask me to take action on their behalf,

pretending they want to be near me.

'We have fasted before you!' they say.

'Why aren't you impressed?

We have been very hard on ourselves,

and you don't even notice it!'

"I will tell you why!" I respond.

"It is because you are fasting to please yourselves.

Even while you fast,

you keep oppressing your workers.

What good is fasting when you keep on fighting and quarreling?

This kind of fasting will never get you anywhere with me.

You humble yourselves by going through the motions of penance,

bowing your heads like reeds bending in the wind.

You dress in burlap and cover yourselves with ashes.

Is this what you call fasting?

Do you really think this will please the Lord?

"No, this is the kind of fasting I want:

Free those who are wrongly imprisoned;

lighten the burden of those who work for you.

Let the oppressed go free,

and remove the chains that bind people.

Share your food with the hungry,

and give shelter to the homeless.

Give clothes to those who need them,

and do not hide from relatives that need your help.

"Then your salvation will come like the dawn,

and your wounds will quickly heal.

Your godliness will lead you forward,

and the glory of the Lord will protect you from behind.

Then when you call, the Lord will answer.

'Yes, I am here,' he will quickly reply.

"Remove the heavy yoke of oppression.

Stop pointing your finger and spreading vicious rumors!

Feed the hungry,

and help those in trouble.

Then your light will shine out from the darkness,

and the darkness around you will be bright as noon.

The Lord will guide you continually,

giving you water when you are dry

and restoring your strength.

You will be like a well-watered garden,

like an ever-flowing spring.

Some of you will be known as a rebuilder of walls

and a restorer of homes.

Isaiah 58:1-12, HCSB

Church...people of God...'Merica...did you hear that?

Did you FEEL that?

God says he sees us coming to church, entering and serving every time the doors are open, offering ourselves up as a sacrifice, showing him how much WE do, but our hearts are prideful and our offerings are rejected.

We act like pious, godly people, but we're still fighting and quarreling and name calling on the internet.

OUCH, right?

He wants us outside the walls. 

He wants us ministering to the lost and lonely.

He wants us feeding the hungry and sheltering the homeless.

He wants us to free the oppressed from their bondage.

He wants our hearts, not our paltry sacrifice.

Then, He will hear us.

Then, He will heal us.

Then, He will guide us.

Then, He will shower us with streams of living water.

Then, He will make us rebuilders of walls and restorer of homes.

God is speaking to us Newport News, Hampton, Hampton Roads, United States...church.

He wants our hearts to reflect His, and His heart is broken for the lost...is yours? Is mine?

Here's where I get more personal, though. I have a lot of questions that have been building for quite some time. 

It's been months since I've written...and longer than that since I've written much of consequence, with fire and passion. A couple years ago I wrote a series on passion, vision, mission, and goals. What has happened to mine? And is my writing "ministry" even enough?

I love reaching out to people and seeing their lives changed through my business, but it's not really reaching the lost and feeding the hungry is it? I supposed you could call it "freeing the oppressed from the bondage" of their own fatigue and constraints, but is it really enough?

We're volunteering with the FamilyLife Weekend to Remember team in Williamsburg. That ministers to the lost and broken, but once again, it's not sheltering the homeless or clothing the impoverished. It doesn't feel like enough. Is it enough?

Futhermore (and this is truly my core concern, I think), how many passions and missions can one person really have and still be effective? 

Can I minister to my family AND marriages AND write AND help people with my business AND sing eventually (because, honestly, that's been on my heart a lot lately, too)?

Can one person do all those things and really do any of them well...with 6 children? Is that a thing?

I know some would say that my main ministry right now is fulfilling my roles as wife and mother. They're not wrong. Biblically, I know how the priority list is supposed to work: God, husband, children, etc.

But that's not enough either, right? I mean, if everyone only concentrates on what's going on in their own homes and families, then nothing is getting done outside. Wouldn't that give half the body of Christ a "free pass" not to do much of anything in the world?

I want to feel a passion and a purpose again, but instead I feel a little torn and twisted. I want God to light a fire in my soul, but I'm almost scared because...really? One more thing?

And, finally, at what point does all this business on my part turn into me looking at God and going "See? Look at everything I'm doing! Look at all MY WORKS."

Faith without works is dead (James 2:17), but it would seem works without a passion for the heart of God are useless.

There's a fine line somewhere...I'm just looking for that line.

So, dear, wonderful friends who have gotten this far: what's the answer? How do you find the balance? Was your heart moved by the passage in Isaiah as much as mine was?

I want desperately to hear from you. This is one situation where I just don't feel like I have the answers: a missing page in the blueprints of my "Life Under Construction."

I'm praying hard for answers, and I'm praying for YOUR hearts, too! 

Corinthians 3 Thursday: Pursuing Passion

Last week we talked about values, what ours are, and why it's important to define them. This week we're talking about passion.

Did you hear me? I said PASSION.

In Christian Coaching, Collins says: 

Your passion is what fires you up. It is a driving force that can give your life its greatest energy and fulfillment. If you get in touch with your passion (or passions) and let it motivate you in healthy directions, passion can be a powerful influence for good. It can invigorate your life and raise you to higher levels of achievement and self-satisfaction. If you ignore your passion or let it fade, your life becomes duller, emotionally flatter, less fulfilled, and sometimes tinged with apathy. Like a speech or a sermon without passion, life without passion can be boring, colorless, and uninspiring. 

So, live with passion and be invigorated, or live without it and let your life be dull and flat. Sounds like a no-brainer to me.

But, as a Christian, is passion for anything other that serving God self-serving? Absolutely not! As long as your passion is in-line with the word of God, then it should be seen as a gift from Him!

Bruce Wilkinson, author of The Dream Giver says:

God has put a driving passion in you to do something special. Why wouldn't he? You are created in his image - the only person exactly like you in the universe. No one else can do your dream. (This is actually a quote Collins provides in Christian Coaching). 

Here's the deal, not everyone can be "in ministry;" it just isn't plausible. However, everyone can minister where they are, and there's no better way to do that then to pursue a God-given passion.

So, whether you eat or drink,

or whatever you do, 

do all to the glory of God. 

1 Corinthians 10:31

Lead a life worthy of your calling,

for you have been called by God.

Ephesians 4:1

So what is your passion?

Some people know what their passion is right away. They immediately know the subjects or activities that ignite their souls.

Then their are people like me. I've been a mom since I was 19. Now, as a mom with four children and one on the way, I'm lucky if I can find an ounce of energy or passion when I fall in bed with my husband at night, and I adore him! Now you're telling me I'm supposed to figure out some other passion?!

Luckily, Collins gives some great suggestions for finding out exactly what your passion is. 

• Ask somebody who knows you well to identify your passions.
• Think of times in your life when you felt exuberant and excited to be alive. What might this say about your passion?
• When you were young and your parents could not find you, what did they assume you were doing? What does this say about your passion?
• If you had no limitations in terms of money or time, what would you like to do?
• Look at your environment. Does this reveal what really interests and excites you?
• Search the Scriptures, wait, and pray that God will reveal his passion for your life.

I suggest implementing the last suggestion before pursuing the rest. We should always seek God in prayer and in His Word, particularly when we're looking for His guidance.

When I performed the tasks above, one answer screamed the loudest: books.

Josiah and Destiny said "books;" when I was young and quiet for a long time, my parents knew I was probably somewhere reading; my home is filled with books. 

Books, books, and more books. I love books. When I go Barnes and Noble, being surrounded by all the authors' words, imaginations, and experiences fills me with an electricity I can feel from my scalp to my tiptoes. That's a tell-tale sign of passion, my friends.

If you're thinking the same thing I was when I realized this, then you're thinking, "We've crowned our new Mrs. Nerd Universe 2014, whose overwhelming passion in life is...books."

And that's probably true. I am a nerd, and I'm cool with that. However, upon further examination, there's a deeper passion there. Like a fraction, we need to reduce this to its simplest form: words.

I don't just love books, I love words.

I love to write them, speak them, sing them, read them, hear them. My main love language is even Words of Affirmation.

Words, words, words...I loooooove words. They energize me and ignite a fire somewhere deep in my soul.

When I can't sleep at night or feel very passionately about a certain subject, I write books, blog posts, and speeches in my head. I dream of delivering messages God has laid on my heart to huge crowds of people. I dream of changing the world for Christ through the words I write and speak.

God gave me words.

All that having been said, that's probably enough words from me for the day.

It's your turn! What are your passions? If possible, try to think beyond family. As moms, we are passionate about our kids, but I feel very strongly that we should have other passions, as well...if for no other reason than to teach children how to pursue theirs.

If you're just now joining us, Corinthians 3 Thursdays are designed to help us find our pursue our individual callings based upon two Corinthians verses: 1 Corinthians 3:8-11 and  2 Corinthians 3:17-18. As  guide, w're using the book Christian Coaching by Gary Collins.For more information, you can visit this post or any of the earlier Corinthians 3 Thursday posts below:

Corinthians 3 Thursday Post 1: Clarifying Values

Please link up or share your thoughts in the comments section! Feel free to grab and share my button, too!

With A Passion

Do you believe in coincidences?

I don't.

I ran into a man today at the dentist's office. Josiah had an appointment, and our dentist's office is on Main Street, and since I'll take just about any excuse to spend time with him, we decided to brave the icy sidewalks and walk to the office.

While Josiah was busy in the dentist's chair, I struck up a conversation with the previous patient who, as divine providence would have it, was a Christian.

We spoke for a long time about many different things and, while we had some theological differences, he said something to me that made such an impact I knew I'd write about it.

He said there was a day he was supposed to debate some piece of scripture with a fellow Christian over lunch - just two angry men convinced they were right (and another there just to watch the show over a sandwich).

He said he prayed sincerely for wisdom before-hand, and then he went in and told me man he wouldn't debate with him. He said he would sit down with him and the Word; they would sit next to each other and study the scripture together and then as united Christians they would derive the meaning. 

In the end, he said both of them had been partially right, but they walked away knowing the other was a brother in Christ.

He told me the end of the story with tears in his eyes and my heart almost exploded.

This man had passion.

Before our chat in the dentist's office, I was reading one of my textbooks for my Christian Leadership class (The Conviction to Lead by Albert Mohler). I read about the "Passion to Lead" and my heart was both heavy and hopeful.

I've lost momentum on forming the ministry. With the kids and I back in school, I just don't have time to finish designing the logo or set up the website/new blog...or anything else really.

I feel like I've lost some of my momentum...and some of my passion.

I found myself praying while I was reading, and then, for the first time, scrawling those prayers in the margins.

"Please God, make me passionate for Your word and Your will in everything I do."

"Please Lord, if I'm meant to lead, make me an infectious leader. One who leads with deep conviction and a passion for You."

"Please God, lead me so I can lead others."

"Please God...please."

And then I ran into Mr. Tom...a man with a passion for Christ...a man who, at that moment over lunch with a fellow Christian, chose unity in the body...the exact same thing our ministry is after: healing the body of Christ.

God lit the flame of my heart again for our cause, and while I know I still might not have time to work on everything today or tomorrow, that's okay. I'm on God's time and taking His lead, and His timing is perfect. Amen.

So, today, I'd like to thank Mr. Tom for allowing the Holy Spirit to speak to me through him, and for his lovely conversation in our dentist's waiting room.

I walked away knowing another brother in Christ.

Whom have I in heaven but you?

And there is nothing on earth that I desire besides you.

My flesh and my heart may fail,

but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever.

Psalm 73:26-26