Who's Got Time?

How much time do you have?

Are you always short on time? Does time seem like it goes on forever for you?

If you're like me, then it's probably a combination of both.

I spend my time being bored or tired or overwhelmed, happy or sad or joyful or frustrated. 

Did you catch that? I spend MY time?

I've been doing a study of Ecclesiastes the last few days, and today I got to Ecclesiastes 3. Most people are at least somewhat familiar with this passage because it inspired "Turn! Turn! Turn!" by The Byrds in the 1950's:

There is an occasion for everything,

and a time for every activity under heaven:

a time to give birth and a time to die;

a time to plant and a time to uproot;

a time to kill and a time to heal;

a time to tear down and a time to build;

a time to weep and a time to laugh;

a time to mourn and a time to dance;

a time to throw stones and a time to gather stones;

a time to embrace and a time to avoid embracing;

a time to search and a time to count as lost;

a time to keep and a time to throw away;

a time to tear and a time to sew;

a time to be silent and a time to speak;

a time to love and a time to hate;

a time for war and a time for peace.

Ecclesiastes 3:1-8

I just love it. No matter where you are in your life right now, there is likely a very applicable and helpful portion of that for you.

However, just after this bit, something else caught my eye this morning:

He has made everything appropriate in its time. He has also put eternity in man's hearts, but man cannot discover the work God has done from beginning to end. I know that there is nothing better for them than to rejoice and enjoy the good life. It is also the gift of God whenever a man eats, drinks, and enjoys all his efforts. I know that all God does will last forever; there is no adding to it or taking from it. God works so that people will be in awe of Him. Whatever is, has already been, and whatever will be, already is. God repeats what is passed. Ecclesiastes 3:11-15

Parts of that can be a little befuddling, and I must also warn you that Ecclesiastes, like any other book, should really be looked at as a whole. If you only look at the beginning, it can seem really depressing, but it all works out in the end. 

However, I did get one overwhelming idea from the passage above: my time is not actually mine.

As Christians, we often look at material things as gifts from God, of which we are called to be good stewards. We may even acknowledge that today is a gift from Him:

This is the day that the Lord has made;

we will rejoice and be glad in it.

Psalm 118:24

But, how often, throughout your busy day, do you tell yourself, This moment is a gift from God, and therefore, I must be a good steward of it. Am I seeking His will with the time HE has given?

Did you see that? There's a very important distinction there: not MY time, but the time He has given. 

I did not earn the time I've been given. I didn't work for it; it is not owed to me.

It is a gift.

He has given it to me, but not just for me to waste, but to accomplish His purposes for my life in this moment.

It kind of shifts your perspective doesn't it? 

Now, I'll admit, it's easy for me to say that now, as the house is still and the sun is still yawning and stretching its way into the sky. It may be MUCH harder in an hour or so when the kids wake up, the tasks add up, and mom gets fed up.

Nevertheless, today, instead of shutting my Bible and putting it away, I'm going to leave it open on the dining room table to Ecclesiastes 3, just to remind me that every minute I have is a gift from God, and each second should glorify Him.

What can you do today to remind you of the same thing?

My daughter, Destiny, took this picture of little Phinehas exploring.
 Who finds more gladness in the tiniest gifts from God than a baby?

Days Versus Decades

"I have one big piece of advice for you," said my professor. "Slow down."

Slow down. 

Two words, and they sound so simple right? 

Recently, as I've alluded to many times in last week's blogs, Josiah and I had a brief coaching session with my Christian Life Coaching professor, Eric Viets, regarding the building of our ministry. In addition to the little tidbit above, he had a lot of wonderful advice regarding blogging, newsletters, setting up the website, our logo, and so much more. 

Professor Viets was able to give this advice because, not only is he a wonderful professor at Liberty (seriously, he's one of the best proofreaders I've ever encountered), he and his wife have a flourishing ministry called Pre Engaged. Not only do they offer pre-marital counseling, they suggest and offer counseling before a couple gets engaged. I don't know about you, but I think that's BRILLIANT. They've been building this ministry for four years, so their advice was invaluable.

In preparation for the meeting, he had both of us write a ten-year letter (which we'll do in one Corinthians 3 Thursday link up), define our vision and mission along with some goals, and take a personality test. When it was time for us to work out our goals, I was on it.

I was going to have the entire ministry set up within weeks. I was going to have a book written within a year. I was going to have a website developed almost immediately. I was going to leap buildings in a single bound...or so I thought.

In my haste to set impressive goals and be the star pupil I overlooked the fact that doing things right often takes strong dedication over time.

Professor Viets said it this way: "We live day-to-day, but God often works in decades."

Mind. Blown.

I think I've quoted him a hundred times to various people over the last couple weeks because that one sentence applies to so many different facets of life! 

We live in a culture that wants everything now...faster, faster, FASTER! The professor called it a "Burger King mentality": we want it our way, right away.

But God doesn't normally work that way. He can, but he doesn't. Instead, he understands that, in order to build virtues in us like patience and persistence, we have to wait and work because "endurance produces character, and character produces hope." (Romans 5:4).

The prophet Isaiah said:

But they who wait for the Lord shall renew their strength;

they shall mount up with wings like eagles;

they shall run and not be weary;

they shall walk and not faint.

Isaiah 40:31

God is trying to build endurance in us through prayer and faith. Mark Batterson, in The Circle Maker, says this: 

We live in a culture that overvalues 15 minutes of fame and undervalues lifelong faithfulness. Maybe we have it backward. Just as our greatest successes come at the heels of our greatest failures, our greatest answers often come on the heels of our longest and most boring prayers. 

So today, tomorrow, or next week, when you're tempted to throw in the towel because God just isn't answering your prayer and hope is still out of sight, remember that God is always at work, always with you, always for you. He just works in decades sometimes, instead of days.

Waiting for the Promise

When I picked up my Bible this morning I did that thing where you kind of just open it up to a page and read whatever.  It always reminds me of the OLD Dr. Doolittle where they close their eyes, pick a place, and go.  "I'll just read...here."  If it makes the scenario any better, I totally prayed before reading that God would bless my time with Him.  

Know what I read?  About the birth of Isaac.

Huh.

I have to tell you, that was not an inspiring passage for me.  I walked away knowing I spent my time well because I spent it in the Word, but not remarkably inspired.

Great.  Isaac was born.  Sarah and Abraham were really old.  Yup.  Great story.

Then it occurred to me that little Ryan read the same story yesterday in his little Adventure Story Bible.  Coincidence?  Probably not.  So...how could this possibly relate to me?

I know what you're thinking: "Duh.  It relates because you're almost an obstetrical dinosaur and you're still popping out babies."  True, but not the point...I don't think.

Since I felt the calling (see this blog post for more info) I've been waiting for God to send me.

     "Okay God.  Here I am.  Send me."

     "No really God.  I'm seriously here.  I'm ready.  Whatcha got for me?"

     "Ahem.  For real.  Right here.  Ready."

I've antsy like a toddler bouncing around on a vinyl bench backseat back in the 80's.  "Aaaaaare we there yet?!"

But I thought about this story today, and I think I hear what God's trying to tell me: "No you're not ready, silly girl.  Sit down, stop yer yapping, listen to me, and I'll tell you when we get there."

Oh.  My bad.

Here's where I'm coming from....

I've always been pretty hard on Abraham and Sarah.  He makes her tell everyone she's his sister (half-truth = lie) and they both question God's promise every five seconds so she's throwing her servant at him and then blaming him when her servant hates her. It's really not a pretty picture.

But today I looked at it through different eyes. 

Sometimes it is HARD to wait on God.  Really hard.  And sometimes we want God's will for us to come more quickly than it is...so we try to force it.

I felt "the call" (still weird for me to say) almost a year ago.  The first time we see God promise Abram (Abraham) that he will bless his descendants is in chapter 12 of Genesis.  Abram was 75. He promises again in chapter 13, and makes his covenant in chapter 15.  Isaac is finally born in chapter 21.  

After God's promise Abraham waited about a quarter of a century for his son, and I've waited almost a year.  Who's Captain Impatient now, Alissa Shea?  

*sigh* Yup.  That's me.

I feel like God is going to use me in a very public way at some point...through writing, speaking, non-profit organization, or possibly a combination of some or all of those.  I'm just not there yet, and I might have to wait a long time to get there.  

Until I DO get there, I think God's trying to tell me not to try to fit a square peg into a round hole.  His plan for me is designed perfectly, and I'll only cause a lot of trouble and pain for myself if I try to force things to happen before He's ready.  Abraham and Sarah learned that the hard way.

However, that doesn't mean I'm off the hook for ministering.

Our theme song for VBS this week said:

It's a big, big world and we're living in God's backyard.

Yes, we're gonna do all that we can.  Get ready, let's go.

Get on your feet, and look for new opportunities to serve your friends and family

right where you are.

That last line is kind of the kicker.  Right where you are.  Right where I am.

God wants me to minister to people where I am now...physically and spiritually.  He wants me to minister through my blog, my words, and my life.  He wants me to share who I am now with people.  He's working on me, and that will be the case until the day I die and get perfected in Heaven, but until then, whether I'm ministering to 2 people or 20,000, he wants me to touch those I come in contact with.

God has big plans for me, and today that means ministering here...serving my husband, teaching my children, loving my friends, helping at church, and maybe even writing here on my blog.

Sounds like a pretty sweet gig to me. :)

Crying in the Cubicle

I'm crying...sitting at my desk at work crying and praying the people having the meeting in the cubicle next to mine don't notice.

I am so tired.

I'm praying.  I know God is working in my life, and I know when things get hard I should seek His face and His will.  I'm truly trying.  I swear.

I'm just so tired.

I'm not sleeping well at night.  I feel like I haven't slept well for years.  In reality, it's more like a month and a half, but it feels like forever.

Josiah is asking me about time.

Haha...time.

"I'm taking Emily out this evening, but maybe next time we should switch and you should take one of them out.  We can take turns."  Because it's Thursday and that's what he's been doing on Thursday...spending time with one kid for a few hours each week.  It's awesome.  He's awesome.

I appreciate it so much, but in my present state of mind everything is overwhelming.

Time.

Sure, we'll spend time alternately with one kid per week, and then we'll try to have family time, and don't forget our nightly family devotions, and then we might try to find time to spend with each other alone every now and then, and then we can fit in personal time by ourselves once every third year.

I know.  I'm being immensely whiny.  I'm almost positive God will show me something in the next few days that will make me print a retraction.  He will convict me.  I know it.

I'm just so tired.

Wake up at 5:15 for quiet time (highlight of my day actually), to work by 7, home by 4, cook dinner, laundry (maybe), spend time with the kids, family devotions, clean up the kitchen, don't spend more than 5 minutes doing anything after that though or you'll miss out on a few more minutes of crappy sleep!  Rinse, repeat.

I don't want to be frustrated with God...but I am.  If I have to stay here and continue to do this job, then can I at least please have sleep?  Please?

I know...how disrespectful is that?  I'm totally going to regret this post.  I'm almost sure of it.  Positive.

But, for better or worse, this is me.  This is what I'm feeling at the moment, and if I'm going to journal this journey of mine then I might as well pen the downs as well as the ups.

Pray for me peoples...I think I'm in need.

Alissa's Lesson of the Day: Be Grateful for the Time You're Given

Time is such a hot commodity...and it always feels like my stock is low.  It always seems no matter how much time I get or have, I always want more.  I have the same amount of hours in one day as anyone else, and yet, it feels sometimes like I'm still missing some.

I did get to steal some time with Josiah for DAYS this weekend, and I truly appreciate that.  We visited my parents and Friday during the day he took me back to Harper's Ferry, WV and Saturday we went exploring in downtown Lynchburg.  I love "us" so much.  The way we are together is so peaceful, and yet it also feels like every day is a new adventure.  *sigh*  There is something so beautiful about being with someone for days and then, when you finally part ways, you feel like something is missing.  Nevertheless, back to our lives we go...

It was great to get the kids back today.  We visited Menchville Baptist, and I really enjoyed it.  It was a different service for everyone though because the pastor and the praise band were on vacation AND THERE WAS NO CHILDREN'S CHURCH!  When the lady told me I said, "that's fine" but on the inside I screamed...LOUD.  I wasn't angry or anything, but I went into a bit of a panic thinking about all the whining and wiggling I'd have to deal with for the next hour or so.  I envisioned a fierce battle ensuing, with whining coming from Emily on my left while Ryan makes a desperate effort to crawl around on the floor with only my fierce grip on the back of his shirt stopping him.  I pictured us leaving later looking completely disheveled and apologizing to everyone within 50 feet.

Ya know what happened?  They were really very good!  Ryan was a teeny bit squirmy, but he's 4, and Emily watched the entire sermon quietly.  I just had to remind her to remove her thumb from her mouth every now and the...which she did...without complaint.  I was VERY thankful and I actually remembered to tell them that, which I don't always do.

We came home and had lunch and took a really long nap.  Emily and I were the first up so she helped me make dinner.  A lot of times I'm in a rush to just get dinner done, and I have such a SMALL kitchen, so I don't want anyone in my way, but I realized recently that if the girl is begging to help, I should probably let her.  It gives us some one-on-one time together and teaches her a few things in the process.  She really does have such a helpful little spirit sometimes.

After that we had movie night.  We rented "Diary of a Wimpy Kid: Roderick Rules" and "Race to Witch Mountain" from the redbox.  It was nice to just cuddle with them and watch the movies.  Then it was showers and bedtime for them and a little computer time for me. 

Which brings us to a few minutes ago when I found myself sitting at the computer with tears streaming down my face reading a couple blogs written by stay-at-home moms.  I read about entire days spent with their children and wonderful daily routines.  Sure, there are struggles, but they get to see all their triumphs and hear all their little laughs, and I realized just then how truly jealous I am of them.  I'm jealous not just of the time they spend with their children, but of the fact that if they crave time away from them then they have a valid excuse.  I, on the other hand, spend a ton of time away from my kids working, volunteering, etc., and then when we DO spend time together, we have a tendency to try to cram in fun.  We run and run and run and run some more to the point where even though I don't get to spend a lot of time with them, I still want time away.  So here I sat, tears blurring the screen, with my pouty "it's not fair" attitude and ya know what word popped into my head?  Covetous.

The Mirriam-Webster dictionary online defines the word "covet" as a, inordinate desire for something belonging to another.  In this case, I covet time.  I realized quickly, though, to be jealous of the time these other mom's have with their children makes me ungrateful for the time I DO get with my children.  Today God gave me children who obeyed (for the most part) and patience when they didn't.  He gave me special time with Emily, lots of hugs and kisses from Ryan, and even some snuggling with Des.  He gave me wonderful time with Josiah this weekend and some absolutely gorgeous scenery, both of which recharged me and made me miss the munchkins so much, which is a really good thing.

The last thing I want to do is swallow whole all the blessings God has given me without so much as tasting them only to cry for more.  So today I am thankful...truly and deeply thankful.  I am grateful for the people I love and who love me, and to God for so quickly showing me the error of my ways so I can correct them and learn from them.  He is a gentle, loving, and merciful God, and for that I am the most thankful.

(For anyone who wants to see pictures of the trip, I'll be posting those tomorrow, here and on facebook.)