Panic and Peace

I had a thought in the shower this morning.  Come to think of it, I do a lot of thinking in the shower.  That may be because it's some of the only time I get alone to think.  Anyway...

I thought about the movie we went to see last night ("Oz the Great and Powerful"), and I sort of sighed to myself, "I guess that's the last movie I'll see for a while."

And for just a moment, I freaked out a little bit about having a newborn again.

What else wouldn't I be able to do?  Have I forgotten how much work infants are?  It will be forever before I have time away again!

And then I thought about my gorgeous kids.

How beautiful Destiny gets every day.  She'll be 15 tomorrow.  Wasn't it just yesterday she was a baby sleeping on my chest?

My girls with their Nana.  This picture was in the Lynchburg newspaper today because my mom wrote and published a children's e-book and my girls illustrated it.

And little Emily...she's not so little anymore.  She's 10 now, and I feel like I can almost SEE her growing, and she's becoming a gorgeous young lady.

And my Ryan.  When did we stop calling him "the baby"?  I know just yesterday or the day before someone told me we'd have to stop calling him that eventually...but no...that was a few years ago.  He's 6 now.

I realized in those few short moments that the teeny weeny bit of time we get to be tied to them, when they need us for everything, is a blessing, not a burden.

I'm so excited to meet our new addition.  I can't wait to hold that precious little creature in my arms. It's going to be wonderful to share the experience with Josiah, too.   God gave me the best person I could possibly imagine, and He allowed us to create a new, little life.

I am blessed.

And I am grateful.

Pet Peeves

"Do you have any pet peeves about me?  Other than the whole scratching my feet thing?"

That was the question that was presented to me by my husband the night before last.  My first thought was that we were about to go into dangerous territory, and my next thought I posed to him audibly:

"Why do ask?  Do you have pet peeves about me?"

He said he didn't, and that wasn't why he was asking the question...he just wanted to know.

Well...in that case....

I started to think about whether I had any "pet peeves" and what they were.  I even got ready to name some...

"Ugh..when we put plastic containers away, is it absolutely necessary to just pile them willy-nilly?"

"Dishes - it grosses me out SO much when you leave the washcloth in the sink...just sitting there...producing mildew and nastiness."

"Everything is kind of half done...painting, the burner things on the stove, the stuff on the side porch getting cleaned out...it's all just kind of half done."

I could probably think of other things, but I never said them; something stopped me.

Initially, the only thing that stood in the way of my nag list was the fact that he may indeed have things that bother him about me, and I may open Pandora's box...yikes.  I mean, if something I do really bothers him, then I'd like for him to tell me, but starting a "I hate when you do this..." war didn't sound like a good idea.

I'm glad I kept my mouth shut.

When I was up in the middle of the night last night, I had some time to think about the subject, and I was able to grasp a little clarity.

This is deep...ya'll ready?

The things we call pet peeves are actually just things

we're letting the devil use to destroy our contentment.

Yup...I even brought Satan into it.  In all reality, it's debatable whether it's actually Satan because, unlike our God, Satan is not omnipotent, nor is he omnipresent.  Therefore, the actual culprit is probably just our sinful nature...but that came into play because of the fall of man, which Satan had a good part in, so we'll just go with that and leave the formal theological discussion for another day, m'kay?

Back to the statement though.  Is that accurate?  It kinda stings a little, right?  Because we all have those things about other people that drive us a little nuts, right?  It's completely normal, and I refuse to give up my little idiosyncrasies.  I refuse...even if they get in the way of me being the Christian God wants me to be...even if it means I'm not loving people the way I should.  This is me...get over it.

What's that sound like folks?  Ding, ding, ding!!  Survey says??  

IDOLATRY

Yes, sirs and madams, it would seem as though these little things we call "pet peeves" are our idols.  The little things that we allow to get between us and the love we should have for others.

For example, every single thing I listed about Josiah above can be countered with something positive...and infinitely more important (and honey, I sincerely hope you don't mind me using you as an example.  I love you).

• You scratch at your feet when they're flaky, and it grosses me out.  But your feet are like that because you work hard every day.  You stand on them all day long working to support our family.  Moreover, when was the last time I stopped thinking about my pregnancy swelling and whining about my feet and did something for you?  It's been a while hasn't it.  Convicted.
• You totally turn the storage containers into an inevitable plastic avalanche, and you do have a tendency to let the dish rag lay about...but unlike many husbands, you're helping me in the kitchen.  You've taken my working and being pregnant very seriously, and you are there working for us at every turn.  How many wives wouldn't give their right arms to have their husbands help in the kitchen? You cook quite frequently AND you end up doing the dishes a lot and cleaning up after us.  Convicted.
• Yes, there are things around here that are half done...but the reason they're only half done is because you're often too busy helping us do other things and spending quality time with us.  You're constantly shuttling kids places or doing things with and for me.  Do I expect you to work every second of your day?  When you have Sundays off, you could be getting stuff done around here, but nooooo, instead you're with us...in church...being and becoming a strong spiritual leader for our family, which is so much more important than whether things are half done in the house.  Convicted.

There isn't one thing I can list, not one "pet peeve," that doesn't have a much weightier counterpart...and I am  choosing to focus on the latter.

Further, I would hope he would extend the same grace to me.  I hope the little things I do that annoy him are drastically outweighed by the things he loves about me, and I hope he chooses to see the positive instead.

Would our marriages, and honestly, our relationships with others in general, be much healthier if we chose to concentrate on the positive instead of allowing our minds to be continually drawn toward the negative?

This is something I am going to pray about often...and with fervor.  Will you do the same?

(Listed below are scriptures I wanted to list with this, but I didn't want to lose the continuity of though.  Always important to link it back to the Word though!)

"I am not saying this because I am in need, for I have learned to be content whatever the circumstances. I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want. I can do all this through him who gives me strength."  Philippians 4:11-13

"Those who pay regard to vain idols forsake their hope of steadfast love."  

Jonah 2:8

"Little children, keep yourselves from idols."

1John 5:21

"A quarrelsome wife is like the dripping of a leaky roof in a rainstorm"

Proverbs 27:15

"Better to live on a corner of the roof
    than share a house with a quarrelsome wife."

Proverbs 21:9

“Teacher, which is the greatest commandment in the Law?” 

Jesus replied: “‘Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.’  This is the first and greatest commandment.  And the second is like it: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’ All the Law and the Prophets hang on these two commandments.”

Matthew 22:36-40

Peace Like A River

Peace.

No, I have not turned into a hippie...although, I am selling organic health and beauty products, using cloth diapers when the baby comes, and I'm now all about the recycling.

Okay, so I SOUND like a hippie (I jest...we'll call it environmentally aware), but that's not the peace I'm talking about.

I'm talking about the peace that passes understanding - Philippians 4:6-7 kind of peace:

Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation,

by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving,

present your requests to God.

And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding,

will guard your hearts and minds in Christ Jesus.

I was laying in my bed just now and realized I was completely at peace, and it was the best feeling in the world.  This verse has been working on my heart so much the last year or so.  I come back to it continually.  I don't know a lot of scripture verbatim, and I definitely don't know the references 99% of the time (where exactly to find them in the Bible), but I know this one. 

 It is engraved upon my heart.

That's obviously an argument for memorizing more scripture, but that's another subject entirely.  For now, we'll stick to the peace.

My life is peaceful right now...busy, crazy, and noisy (not right this second because I don't have the kids), but peaceful.

• We are about to bring another child into this crazy world.

• I'm quitting my full-time job that brings in half of our income each month.

• Josiah is looking for different employment - something that brings home more or equal to what he makes now, and preferably, would give him weekends off most of the time to spend with us and go to church.

• I'm launching a new part-time home sales business - something I've never attempted before.

I'm sure there are things I'm forgetting on that list, too, but for now that's good enough,

With all of that going on, somehow, God has given me peace.  A deep peace that transcends anything I ever thought was possible.  I now KNOW the true meaning of having "peace like a river in my soul," and it's awe inspiring.

Our child will be loved by so many.  God led us to make the decision for me to quit my job, so I know one way or another, He will provide.  If/when Josiah is to find other employment, it will be exactly where God desires Him to be and in His time.  He will give me whatever time and energy I need to get any of my tasks done, no matter what they are, as long as I am seeking His will in how and where I use that energy; thus, my business will be as successful as it needs to be for His plan in my life...no more, no less.

It's perfect peace.  

I know He will provide what we need, or at the very least, an avenue to get what we need, as long as we are seeking and acting upon His will for our lives.

And my God will meet all of your needs

according to the riches of his glory in Christ Jesus.

Philippians 4:19

Peace like a river. *sigh*

It's awesome. :)