June's To-Do List

Guess what?!  I'm married!!  I am now Mrs. Alissa Shea Coburn. :)  I tried to sign my new name today and my hand stuttered horribly...which I think is just hilarious.  After a while, signing my new name will be second nature, but for right now, my right hand is confused.

May was all about the wedding, and therefore, most of my to-do list items were accomplished by default, but we'll take a look at them anyway!

May's To-Do List

• FOCUS - I'm calling this a win.  I definitely had a lot of moments where my head was in the clouds, but I ended up doing a really great job.  As a matter of fact, I'm almost completely caught up from being gone on my honeymoon for a week!  

• Wrap up the little wedding details - This got done, but not without TONS of help from my parents, Nana, Josiah, Josh Good, Kendra, and all the other people that helped me wrap stuff up at the last minute.  I am so blessed to have you all in my life!  Just sayin'....

• Hair - I find it hard to believe that I really put a hair appointment on my to-do list. Haha...what exactly was I thinking?  My brain must have really been in overload.  I did get my hair done.  My highlights look good.  Yay me. :P

• School - This is definitely a win.  Finished my second semester at Liberty with a 4.0 and I'm now officially a Senior.  I am SO happy to have the summer off to spend time with the kiddos!

•  GET MARRIED!! - This totally happened!! 

•  Workouts - I think this might be a fail...well...maybe.  I did go to the gym TWICE while on the cruise ship and we walked A LOT in Nassau and Charleston, SC...but one week out of almost 5 doesn't really cut it. 

• Move - I am in my new home!!  OUR new home. :)  Josiah just about single-handedly moved me out of my apartment, but it's all done, and I am SO grateful.

So, that's it for May!  I got strep throat on my honeymoon too, which certainly wasn't on my to-do list, but will make a funny story later.  Now for June....

June's To-Do List 

• Workouts - This is happening in June people!  Seriously.  I only live 5 seconds from the Y now AND my kids love going AND I'll have extra time because I work so close to home now.  I have to make this a priority.  We were on the cruise ship and one of the comedians was talking about being fat (Ira Proctor - who btw, was REALLY funny) and asked who his fellow fat people were in the audience...I LOVED his show and he was really funny, but I would have been a lot happier if I didn't have to admit to being one of his comrades.  We're gonna get this under control. We're going to start with just making sure I have 3 - 30 minute cardio sessions per week.

• Keeping track - The wedding madness is over, so I don't have any more excuses for being too busy to eat healthy.  The stops at the drive-through must stop.  They're too expensive and REALLY bad for the body.  In order to track this I'm going to go back to using this calorie counter.  It's free, and it helps me keep track of what I'm eating and when I'm working out.      

• Organize - New house, new beginnings.  We need a fresh start, and we desperately need to organize.  We have so much stuff to either put away or get rid of!  I'd like to do A LOT of the latter, and when it comes to the former, I want to do it right.  Everything should have a place, and should get put into that place.  I'm tired of feeling like a wreck all the time.  I want our home to be a place people feel they can drop into and feel welcome and at home.  I want to feel comfortable with people dropping by, knowing that things might not be perfect, but at the very least most rooms in the house will be straight and orderly.

• Finances - Weddings and honeymoons are expensive.  Therefore, Josiah and I have really exhausted our savings.  June is our month to start cleaning that up.  We are going to start watching Dave Ramsey again once per week, decide upon our regular church giving, and start saving again.  
  
  Friends - I know I'm a honeymooner and all, but I feel like I really need to make time for my girlfriends, old and new.  I'd like for Josiah and I to have some time getting to know other couples, too.  So, how do I make this a measurable success?  Let's say if I get together with one friend per week, we'll call this a win. :)
  
   Quiet time - I have gotten WAY far away from spending time in the Word each day.  I have made time for everything else on the planet, but not the one thing that is supposed to matter most.  I pray each day, but I'm not spending the time I need to in order to really be connected to God and His plan for my life.  Therefore, I will start taking advantage of my new close proximity to work and using the extra time in the morning to spend at least 20-30 minutes studying His Word.  I know it's the last thing on the list, but really, it's the most important!
  
  
  
  Well, this post is giving me all kinds of difficulties.  I lost my bullets at the end and I can't seem to get back to the far left margin...but that's okay.  Maybe I'll work on better blog posting, too!
  
  Alright folks...that's it.  And just because I couldn't help it, I'm going to end this post with one of my favorite sneak peek photos from the wedding!
  
  

  

  Photo credit: Amanda Truth Photography - http://amandatruthblog.com

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
   
  
   

Wrath and Forgiveness

Warning: this post will not be pretty.  I have some serious things to admit and it's going to be downright ugly.  You've been warned.

Part 1: The Bad Morning

This morning Destiny had to be at school at 6:00 a.m. to go to Richmond for her band festival/King's Dominion trip. So the whole family got up early so I could get everyone out the door.  It was going so well...*sigh*...that didn't last.  All it really took was Emily starting to talk back, and the morning started rolling downhill like a lead barrel.

I'm tired.  I'm just mentally and physically exhausted.  I'm not getting any sleep because I have 8 million things going through my mind.  How am I going to get it all done?!  My Nana and my parents will be here in less than a week.  I need to clean (desperately), wrap up my classes, and get ahead at work since I'll be out for a day and a half (and then going on my honeymoon a week later).  I have last minute stuff to do for the wedding, my hair needs to get cut tomorrow, and I need to have my brakes replaced tomorrow, too. AAAAAAHHHH!

All of that is really just a pre-excuse for the ugliness that's about to flow through my fingers and onto this keyboard.  Really.  I began to really lose my temper with Emily and Ryan (especially Emily).  All I asked was that they get dressed and they're fighting with me!  We need to leave!  Why is there a fight?  Why is there whining?  Why are you talking back?  This thing with Emily talking back and raising her voice is getting really old.  She started this morning and I told her she was going to have to get a spanking...and she ran. :/

There's not much that will make me angrier than trying to chase a screaming child around the house to give them a spanking before 6 a.m.  I don't spank very often, but this has been going on for some time and really just needs to stop.  I actually stayed pretty calm during that (well...relatively anyway).  So don't worry...this is not going to turn into a "why I beat my child" blog.  No...I think I actually did something worse.

I finally got everyone into the car about 15 minutes late, and let me tell you I was HOT!  Steaming, red, fire HOT.  I stomped into the 7-11 to go to the ATM to get Des money for her trip and I stomped my hind-end back out.  When I got to the car I could here Emily screaming and whining before I even got into the van and horrible, ugly, venomous thoughts crept into my head and what came out of my mouth when I flung the door open was, "YOU HATEFUL CHILD!  WHY ARE YOU STILL SCREAMING?!"

Oh yeah...Mother of the Year over here.

First, telling a child not to scream while screaming is just bass ackwards.  Second, her sister had been getting onto her about being disrespectful and, while trying to help, was actually just making matters worse.  Third, and most importantly, I called the poor child hateful!!  And guess what?!  That's not the worst thing that went through my head!  Yup.  You heard me right.  I actually censored myself and that's what came out.  You wanna see sin?  It's a few lines up and in ALL CAPS.

I apologized for my words when I got out of the car.  I told her it didn't excuse her actions, but I chose very bad words and I don't at all think she's hateful.  As a matter of fact, that child can be one of the most loving, insightful, cuddly people I have ever laid my hands on.  She has a beautiful little soul.  And all those mean and nasty things I thought but didn't say?  Those weren't true either.  I had a demon on my shoulder this morning whose name was "Wrath" and his claws were dug in there deep.  It was UG-LY.

So...that was how the morning started

Part 2: Mommy Issues

My relationship with my mom has been rocky at times.  We have both said and done things we deeply regret, and every now and then we still have some words.  (Oh Mama...if you're reading this, I swear it gets way better, but this is gonna be yucky for a minute.)  I have found myself replaying history with people sometimes and repeating some of the things my Mom said to me, knowing how horrible and awful the people would think it was.  I was scarred by some of the things.  I thought I had let it go, but somewhere hidden, deep inside, I still let it fester....

Until today.  Today, I felt the weight of my guilt over what I said to my poor little Emily and tears welled up in my eyes.  Not only was I ugly to my daughter, I have been utterly unwilling to extend grace to my mother and that compounded the guilt.

I have no idea what my mother was going through at any point in her life when she said or did certain things.  I also have conveniently forgotten anything I may have been doing or saying at the time that may have exacerbated the situation.  All I've managed to remember is my own hurt, and I've let it simmer and rot deep down in my heart for years.  I just feel dirty.

Conclusion: I Have a Point, I Swear

If you've hung on this long, wow...you really like me, and I'm appreciative.  I've come to a few conclusions.

1. Saying evil things to our children is not okay no matter what we're going through.  Nothing I have said will change that.  However...
2. We need to be willing to extend grace and forgiveness to those we know love us, and learn to get past the hurt and love them back...fully and completely because
3. Perception is everything.  There are always two sides to a story, and then there's the truth, which usually lies somewhere within the middle.

I don't know if Emily will remember what I said today when she's an adult.  Will we be having an argument one day and then she'll spit out all the nasty things I ever said to her?  Like the second oracle in "The Never Ending Story" will I walk up to the mirror that shows my true self and run away screaming in terror?

I can only hope that she'll choose to remember all the love I gave her, too, and all the times I supported her. I know from this day forward I will choose to try to remember all the wonderful things people have done for me instead of focusing on the harm they may have caused me...and that especially applies to my mother.

Happy early Mother's Day, Mom.  I love you very dearly.

May's To-Do List

Oh my goodness, it's MAY!  That is just so unbelievable to me.  I'm getting married in 10 days!!!   I also have other little countdown numbers, like my Nana will be here in 8 days and we leave for Orlando to go on our honeymoon in 17 days.  I'm so excited!!!  And I'm not just talking regular excitement here people.  I can barely contain myself.  I feel like I want to scream and jump around...like my whole body is having a party on the inside, but I don't get to party yet because I have things to do and if I mention my wedding one more time and how happy and excited I am the people in my office might take me outside and hang me.  I mean, they're really happy for me, but I'm annoyingly bouncy even when I'm NOT getting married to the absolute love of my life...just sayin'.

So, with everything I have going on, I thought now would be a REALLY good time to take a page from my lovely photographer's book (Amanda Truth Photography) and start blogging a to-do list each month at the beginning of the month.  Each month after this one, I'll also post on what I have and have not accomplished the month prior.  This will 1) allow me to keep track of what I am accomplishing and the areas I need to improve on and 2) will mean I'm blogging at least once per month! Haha...

May's To-Do List

• FOCUS - As hard as it may be, I at least need to try to focus at work.  I haven't been great at that lately.  I feel like I just have SO much going on in my brain.  Normally, I wouldn't consider myself as having ADD, but right now, that's how I feel.  I'm scattered.  I must get this under control.  Despite the fact that I have tons going on every second, I have to focus on what needs to get done at the office.

• Wrap up the little wedding details - I have so many little things that need to be done.  I need to tie bows on the bowls, find some more bud vases (anyone have any?!), and get the little red glass dealies to go in the bowls.  I also need to take a trip to Ulta to get some more mascara and to Kmart to see if I can exchange some things for the reception and then decorate those things (it's a surprise :P).   

• Hair - I bought a Living Social deal forever ago for a shampoo, deep conditioning treatment, cut, dry, and partial highlight for $55.  I swear by sites like this and Groupon.  You can get such great deals!  Anyway, I made an appointment for this Saturday to get that done, and afterwards, I really need to experiment with my hair at some point because I still haven't actually tried out my wedding hair, and this might be important since I'm doing it myself!  

• School - I would really like to be finished with ALL of my schoolwork for the semester by Sunday night.  That may be pushing it, but I have so much to do that I can't afford to waste time.  I don't want to have to finish anything while my Nana and parents are here!!

•  GET MARRIED!! - This one is really a no-brainer, but is way too important to get left off the list.  With it, I'm going to clump packing for the honeymoon and going on the honeymoon.  So there...packing is totally a to-do list item.

•  Workouts - I need to be exercising at least 3 times a week.  Seriously.  It should not be that hard to walk or something three times per week for 20-30 minutes.  I think I'm going to start marking days I work out on the calendar so I can keep track.

• Move - Josiah is doing an awesome job of taking things out of my house and putting them in his.  However, I need to be doing  a much better job of helping in the process.  I'm also going to have a lot of cleaning to do once I get everything moved.

There's SO much more I really want to put on this list...like working on quiet times with my kids, teaching them more Bible verses, learning more of those myself, creating a schedule for the new house, putting everything in the new house away, blogging more often, taking more pics of the kids...just so much, but I have a feeling I need to limit the goal setting for now.  I have so much that needs to get done and so little time in which to do it.  Josiah and I will have the rest of our lives to focus on other things....  :)

Visit With An Old Friend

Once again, I'm going to have to make this post kind of quick...but that's my life right now.

I had to do something last weekend for a Government paper that I hadn't done in years...I actually set foot in a library.  I felt like an idiot because I actually had to remind myself of how the library worked (plus, I was at the Main Street Library and I'm not at all familiar with that one).  Seriously folks, I actually had to remind myself of the different sections of a library and the fact that I needed to look the call number up...it actually took me a few minutes to remember the term "call number."  I needed to listen to that dang Dewey Decimal rap the kids keep playing on youtube (Disclaimer: this WILL get stuck in your head, and you will sound like an idiot going around rapping about the library).

I felt guilty...like I had abandoned a friend and then run into them again on the street.  Or maybe, more accurately, like I had abandoned them and then had to call them because I needed something. 

Anyway, once I re acclimated myself to my surroundings I made my way to the reference area and remembered what it felt like to do real research...with books.  I really do think the internet has spoiled us.  The place was crawling with people because they were having some sort of event, so it was really hard to concentrate.  Finally, I was done in the reference section, upstairs, and needed to go back downstairs to find a regular non-fiction book.  I couldn't find the section at first...and then I saw another room behind glass doors.  It looked like some off-limits area...like Area 51 of the public library.  I thought "there's no way this is just the non-fiction section."  I opened the door expecting an alarm or something, but was greeted me was something both familiar and unexpected:

Silence...

and the smell of old books.

I love books.  Barnes and Noble is one of my favorite stores, and I could spend hours in there taking in the magic of being surrounded by hundreds upon hundreds of people's words, thoughts, and feelings.  Anyone ever seen the movie "Inkheart" where the books whisper they're secrets and contents to Brendan Frasier and his daughter?  It's like that...only, ya know...without audible whispering. 

Even more than that, though, I love old books.  The feeling of being connected to all the hands that once touched the pages and became the story...the Never-Ending Story.  Old books touch my heart and my mind and...*sigh* I don't know.  I wish I could describe it. 

I think it's the quiet part of my soul.  I am loud and social and happy and joyful and giggly and boisterous...but here, in this quiet place, with only the sound of the librarian looking at microfiche (yeah...remember that?!), I remembered the quiet part of me and embraced it.  I could still see the other side...I could look through the glass doors and see the activity, knowing that is a part of me, too, but for just a while I relished the silence and solitude.  I took a minute to take in the feel of the books...the large, old leather bound volumes at the top of the shelves and the volumes wrapped in paper and string to try to preserve their already worn pages.

I did my research and then joined the rest of the world again.  I left the quiet part of me and rejoined the ruckus, but I'll tell you this...this old friend and I are going to visit much more often. :)

Flowers, makeup, and reading...oh my!!

I feel trapped today.  I'm trying to read for my classes, but at the same time I have this information in my head that I feel I want to disseminate, so I'm distracted.  I decided the best possible way for me to get anything accomplished was to write a quick and dirty blog post (so no editing, yuck) and then I should be able to concentrate on my homework...hopefully.

What has me so distracted today?  Makeup.  I know.  You don't even have to say anything.  You know you're positively caught up in wedding land when all you can think about is flowers, makeup, etc.  So, today I'm makeup obsessed.  Let's just deal with that.

Honestly, I hadn't thought a ton about makeup for the wedding until this week.  I figured the makeup I normally wear would be fine.  However, I've noticed recently that my makeup doesn't really seem to last a long time, and after working on the timeline for the wedding, I've also realized this is really going to be an all day affair AND someone's going to be following me around with a camera all day (namely, my lovely photographer, Amanda Truth).  Thus, I started doing a little makeup research.  I found that while many people love Bare Minerals and other mineral makeup, it's not really the best makeup for photography because of the SPF content...it reflects light or something.  This new information sent me into Ulta this morning with a fresh clean face and lots of hope.  Here's what I discovered:

This first bit of advice is for anyone looking for new makeup, event makeup, etc...GO TO THE PROS.  By saying that, I do not mean you need to get your makeup professionally done.  I do my makeup every day of my life, and generally, I think I look pretty decent.  Therefore, I do not want to pay someone to apply it to my face.  However, these girls at Ulta really knew their stuff.  I also recommend going to a place like Ulta because there are tons of different makeup lines and each has their own particular strengths and weaknesses.  If you go to the Clinique counter at the mall, they're only showing you Clinique products (same goes for MAC, Estee Lauder, etc.).  On the other hand, at Ulta I was shown a variety of products from different lines that the girls there thought would work for me.  They were very knowledgeable and helpful!!  Thanks Sarah and Jenn!

I began by looking for a primer, and I started with Smashbox because I know they have an "HD" line that was specifically made for photography.  However, because of the slight rosacea on my face and some other blotchiness, Sarah directed me to "Keep the Peace" Protective Color Corrector by Philosophy.  This stuff was not cheap ($30), but it was cheaper than the Smashbox primers and had some other added benefits.  Not only will this serve to even out my skin tone under makeup, it can also be worn on its own and is spf 20.  That won't affect my makeup the day of the wedding, though, because I'll be wearing other stuff on top of it.

For foundation, Sarah suggested I definitely go with the Smashbox HD line and she helped me find a color that would work perfectly.  I'm very pale and the lightest shade matched my skin tone very well.  However, by going one shade darker, I found that I could blend it very well with my current tone and it would blend will if I get any sun (and I plan on doing that in Nags Head in 2 weeks!!).  The foundation and powder looked GREAT on my skin.  Downside: the foundation is $38 and the powder is $59!!!!  Holy guacamole, people!  I cannot spend $100 on foundation and powder!  This is where Sarah's expertise comes in.  She pointed out a kit to me that Smashbox has.  It has slightly smaller sizes (about 2/3-3/4), but is $49 and comes with primer, foundation, cover up, and powder!  It comes in three different shades, and the "light" kit will work perfect for me.  They didn't have any in stock in my shade, but she recommended buying it online anyway because they currently have a "buy $50, get $10" deal online, I'd get free shipping, and they'll give me samples.  See what I'm saying here people?  This girl knows her stuff.

She also applied my foundation and primer with some brushes, and I don't have a foundation brush.  When I asked her about foundation brushes did she take me to the most expensive ones?  Absolutely not.  She took me over to the normal priced side of the store and showed me some brushes by Eco Tools that were very economical (about $12, I think).  She also recommended the e.l.f. brushes from Target.  She said that's what she uses at home, and they're really great brushes for the price - $3 each!  You know that scene from "Miracle on 34th Street" where the lady is in love with Macy's because their Santa sent her to a different store?  Yeah...I had that kind of moment.

At this point, I let Sarah go ring up some customers, but then the lovely Jenn came over and helped with the rest of my makeup.  She was awesome, too.  We did my eyes in Smashbox colors, that were great, but I probably won't buy them just because I have the colors at home, and it's really kind of secondary for me.  She did make an awesome suggestion regarding eyeshadow primer, though.  I told her my eyelids have a tendency to be a little yellow-orangish and she asked if I felt like they were oily at all...which they can be.  I told her I had used Urban Decay's eyeshadow primer, but I was out.  She said Urban Decay was a great choice, but instead of the original I need to use the mattifying (is that a word?) primer because of the oiliness.  Once again, these girls KNOW their product lines.  Ulta had me ultra impressed.

I used a pinkish blush from Smashbox that, once again, I probably won't buy because I have blush, but here's another thing I learned in my research.  When taking pictures, you'll want to apply a bit more blush than you would normally to avoid appearing washed out.  We're not talking Tammy Faye Baker here folks, just a little more than everyday wear.

For lips I used the "Be Legendary" lipstick by Smashbox in "Mandarin" along with their "Shades of Fame" gloss in "Papaya."  They're a little pricey ($19 each), so I was almost positive I wasn't going to buy them...but now I'm not so sure.  They felt great on, and while the color isn't as vivid as before, I still have a beautiful peachy shade on my lips seven hours later (after eating lunch and two cups of coffee).  Hmmm...we'll have to see.  I may decide to go with the lipstick, since I'm almost sure that's what has the staying power, and go over it with a cheaper gloss.

This is what the makeup looks like now (please ignore the fact that the rest of me is a mess and the cell phone pic doesn't quite do it justice).  Seven hours later and the makeup still looks really good. It's a really natural look, but in person, my skin just looks good, and I don't say that often.

In other news, I finished the moms' corsages for the wedding, and I'm really happy with how they turned out.  I used silk flowers for both of them so they could be kept.  Both are red roses, but my mom's is backed by small daffodils and Josiah's mom's is backed by dogwood flowers (both of their favorites).  This is what my mom's looks like:

All in all, it's been a pretty productive day...and now, I need to get back to reading!!!

No looking! Well...maybe

It’s been a long time since I’ve written a post.  Ironically, I think my last post started about the same way.  I never forget that I have this little online diary, but my life has just been a bit too busy to document lately.  That strikes me as sad somehow, but oh well…rather have a wonderful, busy life and no time to document than have plenty of time to document and no life!

So what’s new with me?  I’m getting married in 45 days!!!!  I’m so excited I can barely see straight.  Most of the planning is done now…so the “just waiting” has started.  It feels like May 12^th will NEVER come, but I’m sure it will.  I’m trying to savor it, but it’s hard because I just want to be Mrs. Josiah Coburn!

We got engagement pics done by the lovely Amanda Curcio, proud owner of Amanda Truth Photography (one of which is pictured above).  If you’d like to see Amanda’s favorites from the engagement session (as well as some very sweet words she said about Josiah and I), you can do that here.

I’ve been struggling over ONE decision for the wedding…first look or no first look?  For those of you who haven’t obsessed over every detail of a wedding lately and are unaware of what a “first look” is, let me explain.

Instead of the bride and groom seeing each other for the first time AT the ceremony, they have an intimate moment before the ceremony where the groom closes his eyes and then turns around and sees his blushing bride all dolled up in her wedding day finery. 

I love tradition, so I didn’t even THINK about doing a first look…at first.  I just KNEW I wanted him to be completely surprised as I came down the aisle.  I mean, sure, it would make it A LOT easier to take pictures before the ceremony so there isn’t as much wait time for our guests between the ceremony and reception (which I have been REALLY stressing about), but sometimes tradition shouldn’t be abandoned for what is simply convenient right?  Easier isn’t always better…

In this case, though, I’m having second thoughts.  My lovely aforementioned photographer said she would happily do whatever I wanted, but having done a ton of research for her own wedding (which is coming this fall) she made some very convincing points about the first look.

1.  It DOES give you more time to take the pictures.  Definitely.  There’s just no arguing that point
2. It gives the bride and groom time to have a private moment on their wedding day and “get the jitters out” so to speak.  Many brides and grooms report being MUCH more relaxed after the firt look session and portraits.
3. You get a lot more pictures because you have time to take them!!

And after all that…I still wasn’t sold.  However, she also provided me some links to some other photographer’s blogs about the subject…and the pictures and testimonials totally got me.  I LOVE, LOVE, LOVE these priceless moments caught on camera shared just between the bride and groom (okay, there’s a photographer there, too, but whatever).  The genuine emotion in some of them was just amazing…I actually got teary-eyed!

So, we’re going to do a first look and I feel SO much better about it.  I love knowing that I won’t have to be stressed between the ceremony and reception wondering if I’m keeping my guests waiting too long because most of the shots will already be done!

The links Amanda gave me are:

Katelyn James:  http://katelynjamesblog.com/first-looks-for-brides-and-grooms-photography-wedding-day/

Jasmine Star: http://jasminestarblog.com/index.cfm?postID=457

http://www.jasminestarblog.com/index.cfm?postID=727&the-first-look-grooms-perspective

Lauryn Galloway: http://lauryngallowayblog.com/what-is-a-first-look/

I’m not as familiar with Jasmine, but I’ve been looking at Lauryn and Katelyn’s blogs quite a bit thanks to Amanda (the former is Amanda’s photog for her wedding and she just did a workshop with the latter), and I honestly have sort of a non-romantic internet crush on both of these lovely ladies.  They are young, spunky, and write about their craft so passionately!  I would love to have a sit-down with them sometime because they seem like genuinely wonderful people.  So…look them up! (Amanda, too!)

That’s all for now.  I am completely happy to have made my decision, and I’m VERY happy with the decision I’ve made.  I’ll write again after the wedding to tell alllllll about it!

A new year, a new life....

Every time I write something on here, there's been a larger gap in time since my last entry.  But I'm not going to be too hard on myself considering I just finished my first semester at Liberty with straight A's!!  I don't know how I would have done it without Josiah, though.  He was so helpful.  There were nights he helped with dinner, cleaned the kitchen, read to the kids and watched movies with them, and then helped get them into bed...all so I could get assignments completed on time.

So how lucky am I that I get to spend the rest of my life with him!!  On Thanksgiving Day he asked me to marry him.  We all knew the proposal was coming, which made it pretty funny, but when it finally arrived, it became real to me.  I am so grateful and happy and content.  There have been days when I have literally cried out to God praising and thanking Him for the many blessings in my life.  I have my health, beautiful, healthy children, family that love me, a wonderful man who wants to spend the rest of his life with me (and reminds me of that regularly), and a new family that accepts us just as we are with open arms and open hearts.  *Sigh* So blessed.

That's it for now.  Tons of planning to do for the wedding before the spring semester starts on January 16th.  Wedding is on May 12th!!