Land of the Free and the Home of the...Gays?

So, today is a landmark day in history...a day I think we'll all remember.

Today, the United States Supreme Court, the ultimate law of the land, deemed that it is unconstitutional for any state to prohibit gay marriage.

And the country celebrated...

And the country mourned.

I've been praying all day about it, about whether or not I should wade into the waters of public opinion and share my two cent's worth...if it's even worth that. Why should I do that? Do I have anything different to add?

Maybe. Maybe not.

Nevertheless, as I've prayed about it today, I've felt an overwhelming urge to try to whisper a voice of love and hope over the cacophony.

Last Sunday I sang I song in church by Sarah Groves called When the Saints. At the very beginning she says:

Lord I have a heavy burden of all I've seen and know,
it's more than I can handle.
But your word is burning like a fire shut up in my bones
and I can't let it go. 

And now, that's where I am.

I don't talk about politics on this blog very often...or, well, ever. But this...this, I think, is important enough. So now, I'm going to say something that's going to make a lot of people angry.

Christians, we have to get to a point where we are more concerned about walking in our beliefs than we are about legislating them.

Yup...you heard me. I said it. Walk the walk, people, and then maybe, just maybe, someone will actually want to hear what you have to say about the love of Jesus.

But hey, all you Christians applauding me because I just put those other Christians in their place - yeah you, the ones waving around the rainbow flags today - I have a message for you, too.

We have this book that we believe was written by God through men, it's called the BIBLE, and ya know what it says? It says homosexuality is a sin. BAM. I said it.

It's a sin. If YOU want people to take your faith in God seriously, and therefore, take your witness to the world seriously, then you'd better wake up and smell the Fruit Loops because you're turning your back on what you believe. You are a hypocrite.

So...now that I've made everyone mad. What about this ruling, eh?

Well. *sigh* It makes me sad, I guess. Sad because of where society is and the direction in which it's headed. At the same time...life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness, right?

Right?

As much as we, as Christians, like to stand on the Bible and declare this country was built on a faith in God, in reality, it was built on those three inalienable rights expressed in The Declaration of Independence.

Liberty is basically the right to be as free as possible, as long as you're not encroaching upon the rights of others.

Now, I know...they want to use the term marriage, which is indeed a biblical term for the joining of one man and one woman for life.

But guess what, we Christians are already doing a pretty good job at botching marriage: divorce, adultery, pornography, disrespect, lack of leadership. We're jacking it all up.

Here's where I'm going, my main point, if you will:

I can love you and still think what you're doing is wrong, but you have a right to do it.

I love people who lie.

I love people who cheat.

I love people who have murdered.

I love people who are gay.

I don't think any of those things are right, but I still LOVE people who do them. Do you know why?

"God proves His own love for us

 in that while we were still sinners, 

Christ died for us."

Romans 5:8

Because God has loved me in spite of my sins and continues to love me in spite of them.

Furthermore, God is all about free will, right? He gave Adam and Eve a choice, and He gives each of us a choice, to accept Him or reject Him.

So, I respect your right to choose. I may not agree with your choice, but that's okay. All I ask is that you protect MY right to choose, as well. Please continue to protect MY right to speak...MY right to disagree with you.

In closing, on US money stands the phrase In God We Trust.

Well, do you? Do you trust in God, in His Word, in His divinity? If so, no matter what the world does, no matter what craziness ensues, you are covered. No need to fear. No need to go crazy.

In God We Trust.

Playing with Razors

My little Ryan hurt himself yesterday. Although he's been told many times not to, he decided to touch his sister's razor in the bathroom.

Sometimes, it's just hard to be a little boy with sisters.

He came to me with a bloody thumb and tears in his sad, little eyes and wailed, "Mommy it hurts!"

I bandaged his little digit and gave him hugs. In this situation he'd already gotten punishment enough, but he did get a little speech.

We talked about why mommies and daddies have rules: to keep their children from getting hurt. We also talked about God's rules for us: they are for our benefit, and keep us from getting hurt. Emily chimed in at that point and said, "And to keep us from hurting other people."

*sigh* I don't know if she knows the weight of her statement

My sister-in-law, Jamie, wrote a beautiful blog post recently about her walk with God, and it so mirrored mine. I've said it before, and I'll say it again: I just didn't get it. I had no idea how to go about living it. I thought there were "good Christians," and then there was me, and I tried, but I just couldn't be that good. I was too dirty. 

I made decisions for my life and never once consulted God because I prayed, but I had no clue how to hear His voice in my life; so why pray about decisions? 

I was flying on a wing and a prayer. My plane was in bad shape, and all my instruments were down. I didn't know where I was going, but I hoped I was still sort of in one piece when I got there.

Just to let you know, that's not a good way to go through life.

But then, God brought people into my life that showed me how to walk with Him...and it changed my life forever. He bandaged my wounded heart and continues to every day.

Last night I had dessert with my gorgeous young friend and her wonderful boyfriend. We talked about the blog and church, and she said she's trying to find God for herself. She's had some bad experiences with religion and church and hypocrisy and seeing unfaithful Christians, and now she's trying to work out her faith.

Oh my heart.

I told her I was proud of her and she needs to find Jesus for herself. Hear this: you cannot own someone else's religion. It has to be yours, in your heart. I have faith that she'll find Him, and I'll help her any way I can.

But it made me think back to when I was younger...all three years ago or so. I thought back to all the times I was claiming Jesus and clamoring around in the dark. I think again about people I may have misled or turned away from the gospel. I've asked for forgiveness, and I know it's been granted, but often accepting it is the hardest part.

Please understand this, and I say it not with condemnation but from experience - if you are claiming Jesus, but walking in darkness (not reflecting His light), then you are actively working for the other side. I see that now. There is no middle ground. I wasn't helping, so I was hurting...that's just how it is.

This is the message we have heard from him and proclaim to you, 

that God is light, and in him is no darkness at all. 

If we say we have fellowship with him while we walk in darkness, 

we lie and do not practice the truth. 

But if we walk in the light, as he is in the light, 

we have fellowship with one another, 

and the blood of Jesus his Son cleanses us from all sin.

(1 John 1:5-7, ESV)

So, if you're there, walking in darkness, and you want to know how to walk in The Light, contact me. Email me (alissaandjosiah@yahoo.com); facebook me (https://www.facebook.com/daizygirl1979); comment here; heck, send carrier pigeons, whatever it takes. If you don't want to talk to me, call or email my pastor, Jim Weston, at Menchville Baptist Church (757-877-4532; pastorjim@menchvillebaptist.com).

Just don't go another day without claiming what is already yours! All you have to do is reach out and take it! There may be a cost (there is with every decision), and it probably won't be painless; I won't tell you a lie. But I will tell you this: it is always worth it. HE is always worth it. The relationship with Him is always worth it.

Life has many "razors", and unfortunately, most of them look like they'd be fun to touch. God's Word is there for us, not to hinder us from having fun, but to keep us and others, safe. We all have scars from the razors we've played with, but God is waiting, hearing our desperate cries saying, "Jesus it hurts!" 

But He's still waiting: to dry our tears, bandage our wounded hearts, and teach us the lessons we so desperately need. Let Him.

Do not fear, for I am with you;

Do not be dismayed, for I am your God.

I will strengthen you, and help you;

I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.

(Isaiah 41:10, NIV)

Linking up with:
Simply Beth
Juana Mikels
Time Warp Wife

Confession

Hi all!  The title of today's blog post actually sounds much more sordid than it is.  However, while this isn't a dirty confession, it is a very serious one.

I have a secret...it's one very few people know, probably due to the issues I discussed in this blog.

Ready?

I've been "called," for lack of a better term.

This is really difficult for me.  Not because I feel God wants something specific from me.  God wants something specific for us all; we all have a calling.  I just feel like I'm being called toward some sort of public ministry.

No, this is difficult because of my totally unholy fear of what others think of me.  It's like I can hear a choir of voices yelling "Why would YOU be called?  What makes you think you're special?"

The short answers to those questions: No clue, and I don't.

I AM going to tell you my "getting called" story today though because I feel like it's going to become a huge part of my testimony in the future.

Wanna hear it?  Here it go. (I'll give a $5 Starbucks gift card to the first person who can tell me that reference LOL).

As you all know, I went to the Women of Faith conference in Washington, D.C. with my church last year.  Josiah and I had only been married a few months, but I was already a couple months pregnant, and leading up to the conference I'd experienced some pretty severe morning sickness.  For the conference, however, God gave me a reprieve.  I wasn't sick at all the whole weekend, although I was sick the day before I left and immediately upon returning.  He gave me that time to focus on Him...and I would need it.

On the second day of the conference...in the midst of Sandi Patty, I believe...I had the most overwhelming feeling I've ever experienced.  I felt God telling me something BIG would be expected of me at some point, like the women speaking at the conference...and I needed to get ready.

The feeling had...weight.  I don't know how else to describe it.  It was crushing.  It pushed on me from all sides.  I couldn't sing anymore.  I couldn't breathe.  I just sat down.

I've never felt more lonely in entire life.

I was with thousands of women, and yet, I was alone...with God.

You'd think it would be something phenomenal and I'd want to rejoice and SHOUT IT from the rooftops, but in grand biblical form, I shirked it.  I tried to get away from it.  I looked out at the crowd and wondered if anyone else was feeling that same feeling.  I wondered if I was just letting the experience and the music get to me.

I ran from it.

I thought if I could just get out of that environment for a moment, then it would go away and I could laugh at myself for being so hormonal and silly...so I went to the restroom.  If any of you have been to an amphitheater restroom, you know that's not somewhere you typically feel close to God...unless you're praying not to catch something.  Blech.

But God followed me into the restroom.

I know...I kind of just made God sound like a creeper, but He followed me.  The feeling followed me.

After sitting in the stall for a few moments trying to escape God like a middle school nerd hides from the class bully, I gave up and went to wash my hands, staring wild-eyed into the mirror, my hands gripping the sink.  Why me, and why now?

I still have no idea.

As God would have it (because I believe in Him, not luck), I had just read The Silver Chair by C.S. Lewis to Ryan.  In it, Aslan gives Jill some very special instructions and he makes her repeat them over and over to him until she has them down because he knows as soon as she leaves his presence she'll start to forget.

And I couldn't get that out of my head.

I felt God telling me to remember that feeling.  Remember the weight pressing down on me because once I left his presence...once I stepped out into the sunlight and left this giant worship experience, the whole thing would feel like a dream, and unless I committed it to memory, I would forget it.

And He was insistent I not forget.

So, I did just that and, much as I suspected, once I stepped into the light of day, the weight gradually lifted.  I ate Chipotle and was distracted by our cacophonous exit from the labyrinth that is D.C.  How many women with GPS on their phones does it take to exit D.C.?  Three and a phone call, it seems.

We chatted and laughed, and I forced the whole thing to the back of my mind.  I didn't dare tell the women I was with.  I love them all, but I was still kind of new to many of them, and just to let you know...getting a calling from God makes you feel just a little like a loony.  Just sayin'.

After we reached our cars in the church parking lot, said our goodbyes, and I climbed into the solitude of my van for the drive to the house, God pounced me once again (and now I've made God sound like Tigger...but it's the truth).  By the time I pulled up to the house tears streamed down my face, and I ran inside to my husband's arms and sobbed.  Despite it being late, I told him the whole story, and luckily, instead of thinking his wife needed to head to the nuthouse, he affirmed my feeling 100%.  He told me he understood.  He told me he thought I was right.

And I felt a little less crazy.

In the weeks that followed I told a few people...a very mature Christian woman whom I greatly admire, the pastor, and a couple others.  They were very helpful and reassuring, all of them saying they understood and felt I was on the right track.  But that was it.  The major issue for me is that I had no clue what the calling meant.

Guess what?  I still don't!!

I don't know what He wants me to do.  I don't know what the next step is.

I pray about it every day...God's will for our lives...my life.

After all this prayer and consulting with Josiah, I can't help but feel like this blog is part of the plan...not necessarily the plan itself, but a start to it...a step, so to speak.

I feel like writing and speaking will be part of it...but I don't know how, when, or where.

I'm thinking when He's ready for me to know, He'll tell me.

Until then, I'll continue praying and waiting patiently.  If I've learned anything in the last few years it's that His timing is indeed perfect...

and anything He has in store for me is worth the wait.

Linking up with Write on Edge

*Correction: Mommy Murdered ALL Things Magical

Yup, that’s me apparently.  I talked to Destiny a couple days ago about my decision to not have Santa visit Mommy’s house, and I became the Murder of All Things Magical.  *sigh*  I can’t necessarily say I blame her.  This is a rough enough time for her.  I’m dating someone, and it looks rather serious.  Her father is dating someone else, too.  He is becoming ever more the atheist, while my household is looking more and more toward the cross every day.  She is thirteen and vacillates daily between tossing aside childhood and all its wonders, and embarking on this great adventure of responsibility we call adulthood.  Therefore, I should have expected the tear-filled, horrified reaction I received.  We’ll get through it, and I think she’ll understand eventually, but it’s not going to be right this second.

I have to admit, part of me is still clinging to the Santa myth, too.  Christmas is one of my favorite times of year.  I love the magic and the feeling of hope and love that accompanies it.  I think this was one of the major deciding factors for me.  My heart is clinging to the wrong magic…and if mine is, then my children’s will as well. 

Destiny argued that I was taking away everything magical.  “Are you going to make him stop pretending to be a dinosaur, too?!  That’s lying right?  Pretending is lying, too!” she cried at me with tears pouring down her poor, little face.  I countered that pretending is rooted in knowing something isn’t real, but using the imagination to explore a world that doesn’t exist.  She then yelled that he watches Spiderman and thinks that’s real…do we tell him EVERYTHING is fake?  Do we kill all his little childhood delusions?  That one actually stumped me a little.

I’ve spent the last couple days mulling that, and I think the answer is “no.”  I do not need to destroy all his magical fantasies at 4 years old.  Thus, if Ryan wants to pretend he’s Harry Potter and I’m Hermione Granger, then we will flourish our wands and yell with intensity “Wingardium Leviosa!”  If he wants to pretend to be Max from Where the Wild Things Are (Maurice Sendak), then we will create mischief and will dance with the monsters while they roar their terrible roars and gnash their terrible teeth and roll their terrible eyes and show their terrible claws and he will be “king of all the wild things.”

But when he comes to me and asks me about Christmas and Easter, I will tell him the story of how God sent his son to Earth to dwell among us.  I will relate the true story of how he lived a sinless life, died a gruesome death and dove into the depths of hell for each of us, and then rose again to prove the glory that was his birthright as the Son of God and prepare his disciples that would spread the Word to the ends of the earth.  That…that is an infinitely wondrous amount of magic.

“And if it seem evil unto you to serve the LORD, choose you this day whom ye will serve ; whether the gods which your fathers served that were on the other side of the flood, or the gods of the Amorites, in whose land ye dwell : but as for me and my house, we will serve the LORD.”  Joshua 24:15 (KJV)