Fighting "Feel Good" Faith

I'm looking at my closet right now: dresses shoved on one side, shirts and jackets on the other, some hangers dangling and askew. But mostly, I was looking at the big, blank stretch of wall just above it.

A while back, I had the idea to make a LARGE sign for that spot that says, "She is clothed in strength and dignity." You know...so when I'm standing in front of my closet in my underwear crying because I have nothing to wear, I'll remember the important things to be clothed in.

At least that's the idea. I may still cry.

However, it also made me think of something else: am I really? Am I really clothed in strength and dignity?

I know there are a lot of y'all ready to hop to my defense, but hear me out on this. It might be my new soapbox.

In his letters in the Bible, Paul wrote often to warn his readers about the dangers of inaccurate theology. He wanted them to know how to sniff out a fake. At the time, much of this was centered around circumcision and "the law." These days, we call it legalism.

However, in our modern-day churches, though some are RIFE with legalism, I believe one issue has begun to outpace it. Indeed, this may be even more dangerous: Feel Good Faith.

I see it everywhere I look these days. I hear:

"God says I am enough."
"God says I am perfect just the way I am."
"God says I am strong.
"God says I can accomplish anything."

The problem with those statements? They are false. God doesn't say those things. As a matter of fact, those things are completely counter to the gospel of Jesus Christ because if we were enough, perfect just the way we are, etc. we would not have needed salvation.

But we did. We do.

In every situation in the Bible, if someone needed strength or courage, God did not say, "Go get 'em, Tiger. I know you can do it." He said, "Stand back, son, and watch how I do this THROUGH you."

Have I not commanded you?

Be strong and courageous.

Do not be afraid,

do not be discouraged,

for the Lord your God will be

with you wherever you go.

Joshua 1:9 (NIV)

He didn't say, "You got this!" He said, "Trust me; I got this." The distinction is subtle but vital.

Joseph did not save millions from famine. God saved millions through Joseph.
Moses did not part the Red Sea. God parted the sea through Moses.
David did not slay Goliath. God slayed Goliath through David.

In these cases, and all the others in the Bible, it isn't the individuals ability that comes to the rescue, it's their faith in the God who saves.

Even the name Jesus means, "God is salvation."

"But what's the harm?" you might ask? "Why is it an issue if people want to say that? We know what they mean, and it makes them feel good. It empowers them!"

Unfortunately, it may feel good, but it's building your house on the sand. Time and again, I see people who say these things fall prey to their own philosophies. Life is hard. Spiritual attack is hard.

I keep watching as the people espousing these philosophies come to remarkably difficult junctures in their lives, and instead of leaning on the ONE who can give them the strength and courage they need to follow God into the dark places, leaning and depending upon Him, they lean heavily on their own understanding, thinking God would never want them to be unhappy or uncomfortable.

They make decisions, not based on scripture, but on what feels good because, after all, that's what gets them through. They trade the worship of God for worship of themselves, and their homes and lives fall like a house of cards. Only houses built on the rock can withstand the wind and waves.

It's sad and tragic and, honestly, just really bad theology.

So, when I look at my blank wall, thinking about the "clothed in strength and dignity" sign, I wonder if I actually am. The answer? If I have chosen to be.

When you read about the Proverbs 31 wife (which is who the quote refers to), there's a pretty formidable woman there. But why? Why is she so amazing? Because she walks through each day with God by her side.

• She works hard because she works to please the Lord.
• She makes good decisions because she trusts the wisdom of God.
• She gives unselfishly because she mirrors the God who gives.
• She is clothed in strength and dignity with no fear of the future because she knows whose hands its in...and it isn't hers.

Charm is deceptive and beauty is fleeting,

but a woman who fears the Lord will be praised.

Proverbs 31: 30

To be frank, I don't know if that's who I am every day...probably not if I'm crying about not having any clothes in front of a loaded closet. I'm super glad I don't have to earn my salvation because if I did, I'd probably have a one-way ticket to Hell.

But I know it's who I aspire to be. It's who, thanks to the Holy Spirit, I look more like as time goes on. But I also know it's not me on my own.

I know I'm really excited to make the sign, not because of who I am, but of who God is, and He is calling me to be a woman fully dependent upon Him, every moment of every day. That's a theology I'm willing to stand on. 

Breaking Free

*sigh* I really don't know what to say here, except some seasons just beat you up.

There's a scene toward the beginning of Moana where she tries to take a boat out into the water for the first time. She's doing okay until a wave capsizes her and shoves her under. With her ankle stuck fast in coral, wave after wave plows into her until, finally, she grabs a rock, smashes the coral, and breaks free.

That's this season for me. In one particular area of my life, it feels like I keep climbing back into the boat, and time and again, waves hurl me into the sea. I've been caught by the coral so often that my entire being is bloodied and bruised, and my water-logged lungs ache for air.

And yet, I climb back on the boat. That's all that can be done, really. Sometimes, there's just no going back to the shore.

I thought about this as I jogged yesterday. I prayed and thought...and prayed some more.

Yesterday was a interesting day for me. The first couple weeks of the Couch to 5K program you only run for 60-90 seconds at a time. But yesterday was supposed to be the first day of week 3, which contains a couple 3 minutes runs.

I almost skipped it and when back to the week before. No shame in that right? A jog is a jog.

But something about it felt like cheating, and let's be honest, you never know what you can do until you try. Thus, week three, day one commenced.

The first 3 minute block was LONG. I didn't know 3 minutes could last that long. I got through, though, by praying and refusing to look at how long I'd gone.

But then the second 3 minute block came. This time, it was it was hard. MUCH HARDER. The only thing that got me through that time was the scene in the movie "Facing the Giants," when the coach has the kid crawl from one end of the field to the other blindfolded with another kid on his back. He just keeps saying, "You promised to give it your best! I know it hurts! But you've got more in you!" (Or something like that)

I felt like God was saying that: "With my help, you can do this. I know it hurts, but you have My strength in you. Give it all you've got. I'm here." 

And I got through. I mean...it hurt some, and I'm not entirely sure I was breathing by the end, but it got done. Then, I was home free! All the jogs were done, and I was down to a 3 minute walk, followed by a 5 minute cool down. 

However, once I recovered my breath, I felt God telling me He wanted me to jog again. He and I then had a little chat.

"I don't want to run anymore, though, God. I've done what I said I would do!"

But he whispered, "But with Me, you can do so much more than you can even ask or imagine. Run again."

"Fine," I grumbled. "I'll run from this car to that one down there, but that's it."

The second I started to run, the app told me I had a minute left of my workout before the cool down started...and as soon as I passed the second car, the app told my my workout was complete.

I cried tears of joy then...and even now. I hear you, God: with You, all things are possible. Sometimes you calm the storm, and sometimes, you just give us the strength to get through it. I know even when I feel like I can't go on, in you, there's hope.

But those who trust in the Lord will find new strength.

They will soar high on wings like eagles.

They will run and not grow weary.

They will walk and not faint.

Isaiah 40:31

I wish I could say my hard season was over. In fact, even now I feel the waves crashing over me as I grope the seabed for something to break myself free. 

However, God has reminded me that no matter how long this lasts - a month, two months, or ten years - He is always with me, and one day, I'll break free from the waves that threaten to tear me to pieces. But to do that, I just have to keep getting back in the boat.

Running Behind

"There he goes," I sighed to myself, as my husband's figure moved further and further away. "The distance between us just continues to grow."

No, Josiah isn't leaving, and I'm not writing a soap opera. I just can't keep up with him when we run.

I'm training for this 5K (although we have yet to actually choose one), and on Josiah's last day off, I asked him if he would run with me. The man hates cardio, but he loves me a lot, so he agreed.

It's been a while since we worked out together, however, and I forgot how much faster he is. At 6'5", he's a foot and a couple inches taller than I am, and I'm convinced at least 75% of the difference is in the length of our legs. 

Normally, I look like a Chihuahua, trying to keep up with a Great Dane, but because he was being really considerate, in this case, he looked more like a kangaroo - just bobbing up and down next to me. Of course, I told him to go ahead and run. We'd come back together during the walking stretches, but I had to let him actually stretch his legs.

As the space grew between us, for a brief minute, I started to get sad and put myself down. "He never does cardio, and he's legit kicking my butt. Why do I bother?"

Then, the Holy Spirit checked me. He said, "Run your race." 

Here's the thing, ya'll, God did not make me a 6'5" man with the legs of Michaelangelo's "David." He made me a 5'3" mother of seven with a propensity toward weight gain. I was not made to run as fast as Josiah. I was not made to run faster than most people.

But I have a race to run that's all my own.

We need people with us on our journeys toward our goals, but while we're traveling together, never forget for one second that we each have our own races to run - races God designed us for, and paying too much attention to where someone else is in their race compared to you will only distract you from running yours well.

So, I let Josiah run. I smiled when he turned around to check in on me, cheered him on from behind, and if I'm honest, allowed myself to enjoy the view. Then, when we walked, I'd catch up. In the end, our workouts looked different, but we finished together and our bodies, minds, and spirits were the better for it.

I doesn't matter who's ahead on the journey; it just matters that you're traveling with people you love. 

Slow Down and Finish Well

Recently, a friend of mine told me she wanted to run a 5K, and she asked me to hold her accountable. I'm all about a bandwagon, so I said, "Hey! Better than that, we'll do it together."

Just to let ya'll know, I have been avoiding anything that even looks like running for quite some time. I tell myself it's because it's too much pressure on my joints, but really it's just because I'm scared of the massive jiggle wave that would ensue...and that I might fall on my face. 

Look, I'm not trying to be "body negative" or anything, but if you've ever actually TRIED to run when you're overweight, you know what I mean. You have body parts that are on a full 5 second delay.

But I decided to download the Couch to 5K app, don my worn out compression tank, and get my butt out there anyway.

The first day I planned to run, I was TERRIFIED. What if I can't do it, I thought? What if I get out there and look ridiculous and can't even finish half of the first day? What if the whole neighborhood is laughing at me? What if I pass out?

Those first few running steps felt like chains falling off. 

I can do this, I thought. I'm not going to die! 

However, right around the halfway mark in the program, ish got real. I started to have to hardcore talk/pray myself through each 60 second run.

Dear God, it's only 60 seconds. Please help me not pass out. Please help me not to vomit. Please help me not to pass out in my own vomit. 

And then I also had to pray myself through my walks. "Please, God, help me catch my breath. My breath feels so far away."

I had to cut a couple of the running segments a few seconds short, and the final run by about half, but I made it through the 30 minute workout without dying, puking, or peeing myself so I thought it was a pretty strong win.

When I tried to roll over the next morning, my whole body rebelled. I thought I was just going to have to parent from bed all day.

Nevertheless, I found the strength to make it out of bed, and anyone who has ever worked out knows you HAVE to move when you're sore. The best way to treat soreness is to MOVE.

So, even though I was so sore I felt like I couldn't put one foot in front of the other, once again, my feet hit the pavement. I was still really worried about falling on my face, though.

When the running segment came, I was able to do it, but I was sluggish. I felt like my whole body was a full second behind my brain's commands.

But something very interesting happened as a result of my body's sluggishness: I was able to actually keep up.

Instead of huffing, puffing, and panting, I was able to focus on breathing through my runs. Instead of frantically trying to catch my breath in between, I was able to recover well and enjoy the view. Instead of praying to God he'd help me not vomit and die, I was able to pray and thank Him for helping me through - even at the end of my workout, on the long stretch before my house where there's no shade, and the heat of the sun beats down on me.

I ended the run on the second day feeling amazing, and I didn't cut ANY segments short. I didn't just finish, I finished well - and all because I had the courage to get back out there and take it slow.

Sometimes, we just want to get there, so we try to go as fast as possible. But that's just not sustainable. We run out of steam, we take shortcuts, and we finish, but it leaves us feeling depleted and sick.

Today, choose to go slow. Fully embrace each moment. Focus on breathing and praying. Run slowly and well, then make sure to take time to recover in between. You won't need to take the shortcuts, and at the end, you'll feel energized instead of depleted.

Friends, my prayer for you today is that you would finish the race set before you, not just falling across the finish line, but finishing your race well. 

Talk to you all later. I've gotta run.