Thursday, October 31, 2013

My 100th Post And An Announcement...Maybe

How is it possible that this is my 100th post? It seems completely insane.

I started this blog on July 19, 2011...just over two years and three months ago. In that time, I've shared SO much of my life with whomever decided to take a glance. Too much? Maybe, but I don't think so.

As I write this, I'm at almost 9,000 page views. At some point, almost 9,000 times different people have taken a peak at different parts of my life. This seems odd, but at the same time, there are blogs that have WAY over 9,000 readers daily...my little blog is just a drop in the bucket...a faint whisper in the cacophony of the blogging world.

I took a little while this morning to look back at my blogs and reflect. In some ways, my life is vastly different, in others quite the same, and good chunk lies somewhere between the two extremes.

What have I shared over the past 2 1/4 years?







And ever so much more.  I told myself I wouldn't cry while writing this, and apparently, I lied to myself. I just can't help it. This is not the greatest blog I've ever read, by far, but there's a lot of my heart in it.

And now, as I'm posting my 100th blog, I'm considering moving on. Alissa's Life Under Construction has meant a lot to me, but it may be time to change.

I will continue blogging, of course, but I'm considering something...different.

More to come as details emerge.

For now, thank you all for every time you set eyes on this blog. Thank you for sharing my ups and downs and accompanying me on this journey through spiritual growth.




Monday, October 28, 2013

I Am So Much Better Than You...In My Head

Have you ever, with all humility and reverence, prayed to our all-knowing God that he would expose the sin you know you have hidden underneath, but you're just not seeing? And then, in His deep and profound wisdom, He slowly reveals to you the grime in your heart that was there all along.  And you, now seeing the depth of your depravity say...

"Awww crap! Seriously? But I like that! It's mine, and I don't want to give it up! Boooo!"

What can I say? I'm a spiritual paragon of virtue. *ahem*

In all actuality, I didn't really say that to God, but I think I felt it, and that's bad enough.

I did ask God recently to show me the sin that I was blind to, and He definitely came through. He showed me two blogs by Darlene Schacht of Time Warp Wife that were aimed right at me. The subject matter of both of these?

Humility. (The blogs can be found here and here)

Before my spiritual construction project was fully underway, my mouth was pretty out of control, in a lot of areas. I worked in an environment where curse words flew, and I was no better than anyone else. I might not have said something about you to your face, but if I was frustrated with you, someone was probably going to know about it.

This stuff is pretty hard to admit. I mean, this isn't exactly a pretty picture I'm painting here. It's true, though.

Since beginning this blog and trying to seek God's face and His will in my life, I've spent a lot of time praying about those things. I've made GIGANTIC strides in keeping my mouth shut and not saying unkind things...not that they don't sneak out every now and then, but Rome wasn't built in a day, right?

Anyway, I read those blogs and took them to heart, but the message didn't really "hit home" until Josiah and I went to Busch Gardens last weekend with his brother and my sister-in-law. Some guy was behind me on his phone...kind of loud and obnoxious, in my not-so-humble opinion...and I almost turned to Josiah to say something kind of funny/sarcastic about it, but then I stopped myself....

"That wouldn't be very nice to say," I thought...but I kept right on thinking about it. I kept right on thinking about how that guy was either brain damaged or drunk, until I realized what I was doing.

I might have brought my tongue under submission, but my brain was running rampant through Sin Land and I was loving every second of it.

No wonder the Apostle Paul said we are to "take captive every thought and make it obedient to Christ" (2 Corinthians 10:5).

But why? I mean, they're just thoughts right? I mean, for crying out loud, can't a girl even have her thoughts?! (Obviously, this is where the mental kicking, screaming, and stomping came into play.)

No, a girl cannot have her thoughts because: 

"A good man brings good things out of the good stored up in his heart,
and an evil man brings evil things out of the evil things stored up in his heart.
For the mouth speaks what the heart is full of."
(Luke 6:45, NIV)

If I'm serious about getting my mouth completely under control, then I have to bring my mind under submission.

Each and every person on this planet was made from God's image. He formed each one in his mother's womb. They are His beloved just as much as I. Whether they love Him or not, whether they acknowledge His mere existence, He loves them beyond words...enough to send a piece of Him, His Son, to die a brutal death so they might live...

enough to send His Son to die a brutal death so that I might live.
My sin, my hatred and sneering and evil thoughts, put Him on that cross just as much as anyone else's. I need to remember that.

So, the next time you think mean thoughts about someone...the next time you put someone down or judge them, even if just in your head, remember they were made in the image of God, too, and He loves them, the Bible says we should, too.

"If I speak in the tongues of men or of angels, 
but do not have love, 
I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal. 
If I have the gift of prophecy 
and can fathom all mysteries and all knowledge, 
and if I have a faith that can move mountains, 
but do not have love, I am nothing. 
If I give all I possess to the poor 
and give over my body to hardship that I may boast, 
but do not have love, I gain nothing.
Love is patient, love is kind. 
It does not envy, it does not boast, 
it is not proud. 
It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, 
it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. 
Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. 
It always protects, always trusts, 
always hopes, always perseveres.
Love never fails
But where there are prophecies, they will cease; 
where there are tongues, they will be stilled; 
where there is knowledge, it will pass away. 
For we know in part and we prophesy in part, 
but when completeness comes, what is in part disappears. 
When I was a child, I talked like a child, 
I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. 
When I became a man, I put the ways of childhood behind me. 
For now we see only a reflection as in a mirror;
then we shall see face to face. 
Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, 
even as I am fully known.
And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. 
But the greatest of these is love."
(1 Corinthians 13:1-13, NIV, emphasis added)



Linking up today with Time Warp Wife

Saturday, October 26, 2013

I'm a CEO

As I'm sure I've mentioned to everyone, I'm currently knee-deep in my Nonprofit Management class. In the past week I've read over 120 pages and taken 30 pages of notes. I'm taking this one pretty seriously.

Today, I was reading about the leadership of nonprofit organizations, and I came to a realization...

I am the most important CEO EVER.

Okay, maybe that is a bit extreme, let me change that a bit. I am just one among many of the most important CEOs ever: I'm a mommy.

I know what you're thinking: "You're a stay-at-home mommy. They aren't CEOs.  They are nose-wipers, laundry-doers, dishwashers, teachers, homework-checkers, referees, and a million other things, but they are not CEOs."

But alas, I beg to differ. Let me illuminate you.

(Disclaimer: Let me go ahead and get this out there - I recognize in today's world some moms work, some stay at home, some dads stay at home, and some people have nannies. This blog is based off the perception that while not all moms work outside the home, all moms work; therefore, all moms share certain responsibilities.  Let's move on now, shall we?)


The CEO answers to the Board.
In this case, the board is the husband. Ewwww...I just said I answer to my husband! But guess what, it's biblical, and I'm okay with that!

"Wives, submit yourselves to your own husbands,
as you do to the Lord.
For the husband is the head of the wife 
as Christ is the head of the church, his body,
of which He is the Savior.
Now as the church submits to Christ, 
so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything."
Ephesians 5:22-24

The Board and the CEO each have responsibilities, but in those responsibilities they need to respect one another and support one another. Furthermore, as much as they have distinct responsibilities, they often overlap and, in the best organizations, the two positions cooperate with one another. However, in the end, someone has to have the final say; there has to be a hierarchy, or else, you get the awful clash of two powers who both think they are the final authority, the one in the right.

CEOs have a lot of power, but ultimately, they answer to the Board.



The CEO - A Manager
In my textbook, managers are referred to as people who get things done.  They are worried about day-to-day operations. That's what we worry about as moms right?

Who needs to be where and when?
What needs to get done and when?
What responsibilities does everyone have?

Moms get stuff done. You want something done? Give it to a mama. We know how to allocate resources, make lists, and accomplish goals.

We are managers.


The CEO - A Leader
"Aren't the terms manager and leader synonymous?" you may ask. Nope.

As described above, managers get things done. Leaders inspire.

Yowser... that sends shivers up my spine, both because of the awesomeness of the responsibility and the fact that I feel I fail at it far too often.

"Leadership is more about purpose, vision, and direction - that is, more about the 'where' and the 'why' rather that the 'how'" (Worth, 2014, p. 103).

As parents, and particularly as moms, we are not just running households, we are molding these beautiful gifts into who they will become - not as factories, producing a uniform product, but as artists, using God's raw materials and gently forming them into the masterpieces He wants them to become.

Each child is different; they have different strengths and different personality traits.  It is our job to make sure we direct them toward God and His path for them, always inspiring them to be better and do better by our words and our actions.

"Train a child in the way he should go,
and when he is old he will not turn from it."
Proverbs 22:6


The Best CEOs are Transformational Leaders
Transactional leaders reward or punish based on behavior, but transformational leaders change people. "Transformational leadership inspires and enables people to grow, both morally and in terms of their levels of motivation. It empowers individuals to go beyond self-interest and pursue goals that are in the common interest" (Worth, 2014).

Um... that's pretty cool.

I lead my children all the time.  I love them and we have a great relationship, BUT... am I really putting as much effort as I should in being a transformational leader and not just a transactional leader?

That's a tough one, and it's complicated. Even the textbook says, sometimes, you just have to reward and punish behaviors, but it shouldn't be my fallback all the time. I need to make sure my kids understand the values behind the rules. I need to address they "why" not just the "how."


The Best CEO
Who is the best example of a CEO? The wife and mother of Proverbs 31.

-Her husband has full confidence in her (v. 11).
-She is an amazing manager (vs. 11-19).
-She is a leader and gives to the poor generously and takes care of her servants (vs. 15, 20).
-She shows traits often associated with a transformational leader in that she has strength and dignity, speaks with wisdom, and gives faithful instruction (vs. 25-26).

She is the leader I desperately want to become, and I will seek the face of the Lord in an effort to daily make strides toward that goal, not for praise or glory for me, but for my family, and above all, for the glory of God.

Christian ladies, we are the CEOs of our families - and like other nonprofits (because anyone who has kids knows it's not a profitable venture) we are endowed with the great responsibility of leading our organization toward our mission - to bring glory, honor, and praise to God Almighty.

Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting;
but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised.
Proverbs 31:30



Reference

Worth, M. J. (2014). Nonprofit Management (3rd ed). Thousand Oaks, CA: SAGE Publications, Inc.




Wednesday, October 23, 2013

The Beauty of NOW

I need to hop in the shower. I need to clean the house. I need to read the other two chapters assigned in my business class this week. I need to figure out what's for dinner soon because we have Awana tonight. I need to work on Ryan's Awana verses with him. I need to deliver Krystyn's makeup. I need to get ready for Awana...which takes me back up to getting a shower.

But more than anything, I need to breathe. I need to enjoy today.

As always, I've been waiting to write this blog for days now...almost a week, actually. Time so often slips through my fingers like water, overflowing one minute and gone the next.

And that's what today's blog is about...time...the moment...the NOW.

Last Friday Josiah and I took the kids to Busch Gardens. We hadn't been yet this fall, and they were dying to go before the end of the season. Destiny took a friend so she didn't have to spend the entire time with the parental units and their miniature offspring, but she did take her sister with them for a bit. 

I would never have allowed that a couple years ago...but now they're both older.

Ryan rode the Loch Ness Monster for the first time. He came running up to me afterward, face beaming with pride, so excited to have reached this new milestone.

He wasn't tall enough last year...but now he's older.

I didn't realize how I felt about all this growing older until little Ryan and I rode Tradewinds together. If you're not familiar, Tradewinds is a ride that simply goes 'round and 'round in a circle and up and down little hills...quickly. The effect of all this 'round and 'round and up and down, is that centrifugal force pushes the person on the inside of the ride practically inside the person on the outside. It's lots of fun.

At one point, in the middle of the ride, I looked over at my little guy, and my heart just about exploded. Everything about what I saw screamed joy and youth: his blond head thrown back and his mouth wide open in laughter, the bright lights blurring past us, and the clean, crisp fall air blowing in our faces as we sped along the track.

There was almost a moment of panic and sadness. THIS moment will never happen again! I wish I had a camera! I wish this wouldn't end!

But within a millisecond I realized all the wishing in the world wouldn't stop time from moving on, so I did the only thing I could do...

I took a mental picture of my beautiful boy, closed my eyes for a brief moment to thank our wonderful, loving God for giving me the stewardship of these four gorgeous creatures, and then I dove into the moment so I could experience all the joy I could with him before the magic went away.

Solomon wisely said:

"This is what I have observed to be good:
that it is appropriate for a person to eat, to drink,
and to find satisfaction in their toilsome labor under the sun
for the few days of life God has given them-
for this is their lot."
Ecclesiastes 5:18

Life is often toilsome and mundane - but there is beauty in it. God gave us so very few days to enjoy the ones we love, so we need to take the days he gave us and squeeze them of every drop of love, joy, and beauty we can.

I still need to get a shower and accomplish the other things on my endless to-do list, but I'm making my number one priority today to embrace my husband and children and immerse myself in the fleeting moments I have before, like water, they slip from my grasp.

Photo credit: Carrie Hale http://www.flickr.com/photos/carrie_l_hale/3943182082/



Wednesday, October 16, 2013

Worshiping At the Altar of Religion

Recently, I was telling Destiny that I was praying for some young people we know who are in their first year of college this year because I know it can be a hard time for young adults spiritually. In fact, in one of his sermon series, Dr. David Jeremiah said that one of the darkest times for him (spiritually) was when he was in seminary.

Seems counter-intuitive doesn't it?

Our young friends are strong believers at a prominent Christian college; they should be good right?

Maybe...maybe not.

I've found from experience that you can be in the Word frequently without really being  IN the Word. Sometimes when you're reading the Bible for assignments, dissecting it, there can be a disconnect; it becomes intellectual instead of relational.  

I've been thinking about it since that conversation, and I've realized those young adults aren't the only the only ones in danger of an under-the-radar disconnect.  

How many of us are worshiping at the altar of religion?

Committees, co-ops, activities, events, Awana, VBS, Sunday morning, youth group...some of us practically live at church, but can all the time in church put us in danger of missing God?

I think sometimes we get so into our church activities that we are putting God on the back burner. We get so caught up in our religious busyness, surrounded constantly by other Christians, Bible verses, and Jesus talk that we miss Him...we miss out on a deep, meaningful relationship with our Savior.

We're so IN it that we miss it...we miss HIM.

"How can a young person stay on the path of purity?
    By living according to your word.
I seek you with all my heart;
    do not let me stray from your commands.
I have hidden your word in my heart
    that I might not sin against you.
 Praise be to you, Lord;
    teach me your decrees.
 With my lips I recount
    all the laws that come from your mouth.
 I rejoice in following your statutes
    as one rejoices in great riches.
 I meditate on your precepts
    and consider your ways.
 I delight in your decrees;
    I will not neglect your word."
Psalm 119:9-16

It is completely acceptable to work for the Kingdom. In fact, multiple times Jesus said we were to be servants, just as he came to serve (Mark 10:45 is one of them).

In his letter to the Ephesians, Paul told them to: 

"be filled with the spirit
speaking to one another in psalms, hymns, and spiritual songs,
singing and making music to the Lord in your heart,
giving thanks always for everything to God the Father
in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ,
submitting to one another in the fear of Christ."
Ephesians 5:18b-21 (emphasis added)

It's a heart thing.

You might be in the church, but is church in your heart? You might sing praise and worship at church, but are you making music to him in your heart? Are you giving thanks always?  How about submitting to fellow Christians? (Oooooo...I said the word "submit." People often tend to overlook that word).

I suppose we could call this Martha Syndrome. We get so busy doing that we simply forget to stop, breathe, and worship at the feet of Jesus.

"'Martha, Martha,' the Lord answered,
'you are worried and upset about many things,
but few things are needed - indeed, only one.
Mary has chosen what is better, and it will not be taken from her.'"
Luke 10:41-42 (emphasis added)

I'm not suggesting you drop all the hats you wear at church or stop surrounding yourself with believers. I am, however, suggesting a constant heart-check, making sure you're not missing the forest for the trees (or the Jesus for the committees).

For me, I know I have a tendency to get caught up in busyness. I love to do things and join things and lead things, but when I'm not careful, I can let religious work get in the way of the Holy Spirit working in me.

What about you? Do you feel your church activities bring you closer to God all the time? Or do you find yourself lost in the busy?

Are you busy having Martha Syndrome or are you busy spending time at the feet of Jesus?



Monday, October 7, 2013

Cleaning House

I've been a bit discouraged by my domestic abilities lately...or um, NON-abilities. It seemed like I was doing pretty well before my school started, but once it did? WOW.

I can never quite get the house really clean...all at the same time at least.

I did clean the kitchen the other day - really cleaned it.  Please don't be alarmed.  The kitchen is cleaned every day...ish.  I mean, dishes are done, counters are wiped, and things like that, but there's clean and then there's clean

I cleaned cabinets and the refrigerator.  I cleaned out the microwave. I mopped the floor really, really well.  

I cleaned the dirt that lies beneath - the dirt beneath the dirt. As I was doing this, I thought about how it relates to our spiritual lives. 

Sometimes, we think we're cleaning our hearts, but we don't really clean the dirt beneath the dirt.

We all have "little" sins we commit that we try to clean out of our lives. We gossip, snap, gripe, and glut. Each day we try to wipe those sins away, but we only scratch the surface. We're never truly clean.

Why do we do those things? What causes us to speak poorly about someone? Why are we overly critical? Why do we get so angry so easily? Why do eat beyond what is necessary?

Because we're not cleaning the dirt beneath the dirt.

Do we speak poorly about others, or even think poorly of others, because we want to feel better about ourselves? PRIDE.

Do we snap at our children and spouses too readily because they're getting in the way of our way?SELFISHNESS.

Do we continue to eat because we're trying to fill a hole that we should be filling with God? IDOLATRY.

I don't know if the sins I've named are your sins. We're all different, and the same goes for our deep, down dirt...but we all have it.

Today, when you're reading this, think about the things you struggle with most, and try to determine if maybe there's a deeper reason you struggle with that sin. Is there something deeper you're holding on to?

I pray today you'll consider that question. We can never get the kitchen of our hearts truly clean; that's why we need a Savior. We are cleaned through His sacrifice.

 However, we still need to clean house as much as we can spiritually so we can have a decent place to commune with Him, right?

I know I still have a lot more cleaning to do...in my house and in my heart. Have you deep cleaned lately?


Linking up with Time Warp Wife for Titus Tuesday