Monday, December 23, 2013

You Know Me

Our God is amazing. Did you know that?

He is never too busy to work in the smallest details of our lives!!

On Tuesday, just one week before Christmas Eve, I got to listen to some awesome teaching by Sharon Thomas of Established Footsteps on Jesus as the "Prince of Peace" (Isaiah 9:6) (which I posted about here). The next day, a week before Christmas Day, I was almost in tears because I had to get semi-dressed up for an Awana Journey event...

The next day, I was plunged into the swamps of sadness because I had to leave the house to go see my husband for lunch...and my jeans were tight...and I didn't want to be seen in public.

Any of this sound kooky to you? You're not alone. Just writing it makes me feel pretty stupid, but it's something I think is best thrown out there.

Lately, I've been struggling with some depression.

There, I said it. If peace is being fully known and still loved, then you can't have peace if you hide things all the time. So, this is me throwing it out there.

No one but God, Josiah, and my children would ever really know unless I told you myself. To the outside world I try to keep the smile up and continue laughing, but they see the tears and the strife; they see me in the muck.

"Why?" you ask?

Because I've gained weight. Because I'm almost back to my highest weight ever. Because it feels completely pointless to even try to lost weight anymore because I'll just be weak and gain it again. Because my energy is gone and my muscles packed their bags and left, too. Because I hate to look in the mirror. Because I think my husband hates looking at me. Because I feel totally alone in any efforts I take. Because I miss my husband every single day because he lives here, but he's working so hard that most of the time he's not here...even when he is.

Should I go on, or are you getting an accurate portrait of the pity party?

I've been praying about this the whole time. I haven't stopped praying about it.

But can I tell you something?

Sometimes, that peace that passes all understanding, and the guarding of our hearts and minds in Christ Jesus (Phil 4:6-7) takes a while. God has perfect timing, and He knows when the absolute best time is for His peace to come to us.

He knew that on Thursday Josiah would urge me to take a walk...just to take the first steps. He knew the sun would be shining and the sky would be clear. He knew I would go to Huntington Beach and drop on my knees in the sand and pour my heart out to Him...

And He knew I would have peace, knowing that my problem was BY FAR not the biggest problem in the world, but He still cares, so I don't have to feel guilty about being on my knees in the sand because I'm fat and I'm tired of the fight.

He knew the sound of the James and the sun on my face, feeling His creation all around me and through me, would pull me out of my own muck and mire, and settle me in His gentle, loving hands.

He knew on my way back I would see the homeless people and be reminded of how truly fortunate I am.

He knew. He knows.

Folks, I wish I could tell you I conquered this. I wish I could stand here in front of you and say, "I licked this depression! I'll never be sad about my weight again!" But unfortunately, that would probably be a lie.

I'm just as human as the next person. And Satan prowls around us like a lion, seeking anyone he can devour (1 Peter 5:8) I try to resist and be firm in the faith, knowing that people all over the world feel the same way I do (5:9), but sometimes I falter.

So, I humble myself before you and under the mighty hand of God, casting all my cares upon Him because I know He cares about me (5:6-7).

Right now, I'm about to go for a walk, knowing it may not make me one pound lighter EVER, but also knowing that it could keep me from gaining another one, and it will make me healthier and make me feel better, and knowing that God wants me to and I will be obedient.

I don't know what you may be struggling with right now. Is it your weight? Your job? Your marriage? Your finances? No matter what it is, please know that He cares, and He will bring you peace, but first, you have to seek Him!!

Seek His face, and eventually, He will bring you peace.


(After my "Got Peace?" post, my sister-in-law Jamie posted this video for me on facebook, and it touched my heart down deeeeeeep. Thank you, Jamie!)


Linking up with:
Time Warp Wife

Sunday, December 22, 2013

Got Peace?

Are you at peace?

I don't mean are you NOT having a war on the outside. I mean, DEEP DOWN, in the pit of your soul, do you have peace?

No?

Then let's talk.

From what Scripture says, peace is having an open, honest relationship with Jesus. It's as easy as that.

This is the third and final post that came in part from a lesson Sharon Thomas taught recently through her ministry Established Footsteps. It was called DEEPER Christmas, and really dug into God's Word, and how we can relate Christmas with who Jesus really is: Wonderful Counselor, Almighty God, Eternal Father, Prince of Peace (Isaiah 9:6)


But today...today we wrap this up with the "Prince of Peace." *sigh* Just saying that brings calmness to my heart.

Once again, Sharon was looking at the story of the Samaritan woman in John 4:1-42, and she said she initially had a really hard time seeing where "Prince of Peace" was in the story...and then she saw it.

Twice in the story it's mentioned that Jesus told this woman everything she ever did. Everything.

Can you imagine sitting down with Jesus and having him tell you everything you ever did? And from what we see of what he says...um...He's not talking about how brilliant you were at your recital in the third grade, ya know? 

He's telling her about the dirt...the nasty...the SIN. Can you imagine having a face-to-face conversation with Jesus about everything you've ever done? I don't know about you, but that would be a looooooong conversation for me.

But that's what Jesus did. He told her everything she ever did, but in doing so, He didn't stone her; He didn't bring out the whip or the cross; He knew her sin; and He knew He would bear it for her...and He loved her still.

"Come, let us discuss this,"
says the Lord.
Though your sins are like scarlet,
they will be white as snow;
though they are red as crimson,
they will be like wool.
(Isaiah 1:18)

"Come, let us discuss this..." It just gives me chills. 

The Creator of the Universe pulls up a chair with me, sits beside me, looks at my dirty, sinful, nasty self and says..."Come, let us discuss this. Your sins are dirty, but if we discuss them and you hand them over to me, I can make you clean again."

Oh, there is PEACE in that.

Isn't that what we all want from people? We all want to be truly known, and yet, still loved.

How many women swooned when the lawyer in Bridgette Jones Diary told her he loved her, just as she was...not thinner or funnier or smarter...just as she was.

And how many of us had a yearning from deep in our souls to be known and loved in exactly that way...just as we are.

Guess what? You already are

Just like when we discussed Jesus as a Wonderful Counselor, He already knows you! And he LOVES you...in that there is PEACE!

One of my favorite verses is Philippians 4:6-7:

Do not be anxious about anything,
but in every situation, 
by prayer and petition, 
with thanksgiving,
present your requests to God.
And the peace of God,
which transcends all understanding,
will guard your hearts and minds in Christ Jesus.

Once again...chills. Don't be anxious...talk to Him, trust Him, and He will give you a peace so deep it transcends all understanding.

It's about the relationship. It's about knowing Him and being known by Him. It's about being real and transparent and knowing He loves you and accepts you and cares about you.

Sometimes, when we want people to love and accept us just as we are, they fall short...we all do...we're human. BUT GOD, oh but God, He is perfect, and through the sacrifice of His Son, whose birth we celebrate this season, we can have a relationship with Him and have peace.

Praise be to God!

So, if you're celebrating Christmas this year, then you should be at peace. You should have a perfect perfect peace in God. If you don't, talk to Him. He's waiting for you!

The picture of baby Jesus in a manger is a beautiful picture, but if we leave Jesus in that manger, then we've left our present under the tree to get all dusty. It's only when look at who He became, who He WAS, and who He IS that truly unwrap that gift and bring the meaning of Christmas into our lives!

Once again, I strongly urge you to go to Established Footsteps and listen to Sharon. She's amazing.

I'll leave you with this passage of Scripture, which perfectly illustrates how a relationship with our awesome God leads to peace:

How happy is the one
whose transgression is forgiven,
whose sin is covered!
How happy is the man
the Lord does not charge with sin,
and in whose spirit is no deceit!

When I kept silent,
my bones became brittle
from my groaning all day long.
For day and night
Your hand was heavy on me;
my strength was drained
as in the summer's heat.
Then I acknowledged my sin to You
and did not conceal my iniquity.
I said,
"I will confess my transgressions to the Lord,"
and You took away the guilt of my sin.
(Psalm 32:1-7)

Linking up with:


Saturday, December 21, 2013

Who is Jesus to YOU?

It's been difficult for me to settle in to write this blog. With all the hullabaloo on facebook about Duck Dynasty and sin vs. "tolerance" and "wrongful birth" lawsuits (which made me cry AND gag), it's been hard for me to sit down and just write about Christmas...but that's what I'm going to do.

Know why?

Because Christmas...the celebration of my God coming to Earth in the flesh to DIE for me and RISE from the dead and SAVE me...is totally worth putting breaks on all the other nonsense.

We're talking again about Christmas from the perspective of Sharon Thomas from Established Footsteps. I listened to this second teaching again today and took notes, and I was just so blessed by it. (If you'd like to see my blog post on her first Deeper Christmas lesson, you can view that here.

We're looking again at John 4:1-42, the story of the Samaritan woman Jesus meets at the well. We're also looking at Isaiah 9:6, where we see the prophetic names of Jesus: Wonderful Counselor, Mighty God, Eternal Father, Prince of Peace. Today's focus is on the middle two: Mighty God and Eternal Father.

Is that what you see when you look at the nativity scene? Our Mighty God, our Eternal Father lying in the manger surrounded by his earthly parents, animals, and shepherds?

The wise men knew who He was when they followed the star. They brought him gifts that symbolized his royalty...not royalty in an earthly sense, but heavenly authority. Whoa! That's pretty cool.

In the last post, we saw how the Samaritan woman was mixed up, confusing literal water for spiritual water, and how Jesus acted as her Wonderful Counselor, knowing exactly who she was and saying "If you knew the Gift of God..." (John 4:10).

If you knew the Gift of God...Wow. How many of us really know that gift?

The Samaritan woman went on to show how confused she was. She says in verse 19: 

Sir...I see that You are a prophet. 
Our fathers worshiped on this mountain,
yet you [Jews] say that the place
to worship is in Jerusalem.

She thought he was a prophet. She was sitting face-to-face with her Savior, but she still couldn't SEE Him. Her perceptions were skewed.

Sharon points out here two things the Samaritan woman does that we ALL have a tendency to do...she formed her perception of Jesus based, not upon truth, but upon her surroundings.

Our fathers - How many of us have perceptions of Jesus that are based upon our family or our heritage? 

What other say - Is our perception of Jesus based on the truth of God's Word, or is it based upon our cultural landscape? 

Jesus replied:

"Believe Me, woman, 
an hour is coming when you will worship the Father
neither on this mountain nor in Jerusalem.
You Samaritans worship what you do not know.
We worship what we do know,
because salvation is from the Jews.
But an hour is coming, and is now here,
when true worshipers will worship the Father
in spirit and in truth.
Yes, the Father wants such people to worship Him.
God is spirit,
and those who worship Him
must worship in spirit and truth."
(John 4:21-24)

That is powerful!! We are to worship our Lord, Jesus Christ, not based upon our perceptions of him or through the lens of our heritage or culture, but in spirit and truth!

She still doesn't get it though. She's confused and doesn't want to hear what He's saying so she just says, "I know that Messiah is coming. When He comes, He will explain everything to us" (4:25).

Poor girl. It's like a Candid Camera moment, isn't it? She's looking at this "prophet" (aka the Creator of the world and the Messiah) saying, "Whatever you say 'spirit and truth' man! I don't get it, but one day the Messiah will come and then I'll understand."

But Jesus once again reveals himself to her and says simply, "I am He, the One speaking to you" (4:26).

I am He...the One speaking to you. *sigh*

Who is Jesus in your life? A friend? A good teacher? A baby in a manger? A prophet?

Scripture tells us everywhere He is so much more!! He is our Mighty God!! He is our Eternal Father!!

(For more examples of this, see: Heb 1:1-3, John 10:30, Matt 1:23, and John 8:58 to start.)

Until she really knew who Jesus was, she couldn't truly worship Him! She just knew Him through what her family and the Jews said. 

But Jesus wants us to know Him...and He wants us to know HE is enough. 

He is the image of the invisible God,
the firstborn over all creation,
because by Him everything was created,
in heaven and on earth,
the visible, and the invisible,
whether thrones or dominions or rulers or authorities-
all things have been created through Him and for Him.
(Colossians 1:15-16)

Jesus is ALL. And He is ENOUGH.

He's enough to mend your brokenness. He's enough to ease your pain. He's enough to fill you up.

The key is, you have to let Him. You have to seek Him, in spirit and in truth. Only then can you receive your Gift! Jesus Christ IS our Christmas gift; He IS our merry and bright!!

So today, no matter what you're struggling with, no matter what Christmas has been in your past, and no matter what you think about Jesus, seek Him, in spirit and in truth.

Like me, that may mean purposefully putting off the nonsense...take a break from the shopping, events, and Duck Dynasty drama, and really dig in to God's Holy Word.

Take the time to truly unwrap your Gift.


(Disclaimer - once again, you should really listen to this teaching for yourself. Hearing Sharon's passion about the way God has revealed Himself to her through His Word is worth every minute!)





Monday, December 16, 2013

Out of Control

Today's post is courtesy of none other than my wonderful husband, Josiah. Eventually, when I'm able to get the other blog up and running, we'll both be contributors. Until then, he's posting fabulous thoughts like this on my blog!! 

Angst.

Alissa had asked me a simple question earlier that evoked a rather difficult response.

I told her I felt like I’m bracing for an accident that’s about to come.

You know what that is - that scary feeling where you know you’re not in control. When you’re not excited about what comes next because you feel pretty certain that whatever may happen, it’s not going to be easy, someone may get hurt somehow, and that there’s going to be potential carnage.

I don’t know why I have that feeling, but I know I've been fighting it for days now, and now...it’s my turn to write a late-night "lesson learned."

Guess what?!

I’m not in control. And that is a good thing. God alone knows what's best for me, and I’m tired of fighting for every square inch of what I think is better than where I am now.

Outside of that, there’s the fact that I’m human, and I have a HUGE tendency to not even really know what I want, not appreciate it when it’s actually mine, and then of course, I normally find out what I wanted initially wasn't what was actually good for me to begin with.

I can’t help but think sometimes that yes, God is in control, and He knows what’s best, BUT God doesn't help those who don’t help themselves.

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.

First of all, did I just have the AUDACITY to place limits upon GOD??

Second, way, way, waaaaaaay beyond that… how in the world did I in any way, or could I in any way, help myself to salvation?

Obviously, I know I didn't. All I can do is accept that He brought salvation to the doorsteps of my heart, left it there, and rang the doorbell. All I had to do was accept that it is out of my control, and cede control over my own life.

So now, I find myself in a giant tug-o-war against God. When I finally take time to think about it, I see how truly foolish this is…

Yep. Creator of the universe. Conqueror of death. Uh-huh. Him.

When I take the time to think about it, (which isn't nearly often enough) I know that my angst, confusion, and struggle for control should all be let go.

I know Psalms 46:10:

"Be still and know that I am God."

I should be still and know that He is God

That’s God baring down and knocking on my forehead saying, "hey, you…I got this. I’ve got you. You don’t even know what I've got for you."

And then I can remember every time God has come through. 

The time when we needed a van upgrade pretty seriously, and things worked out to where we got it at an unbelievable bargain.

That time when we were out in the mountains of Tennessee and the transmission went out, and we didn't really have to worry at all about anything because of ALL the help we received from many different people along the way.

That time when bills were running late and there was money stuffed in a Christmas card anonymously that helped so much.

Yup. That God.

So tonight, on the way home driving in my car, I was praying, “God, I want the best of what you have in store for me and my family…but…what is Your will??”

DING!

Another Bible verse I memorized popped into my mind! Or three.

I’m going to separate them because I don’t think I or anyone else gets the importance of it until we look at each one individually.

1 Thessalonians 5:16 -  Rejoice always,

Convicted. I've been focusing on my problems and not the solution.

17 pray continually

Convicted. I have been praying, but not properly. I've been focusing on what I needed to have or to be. I haven’t been focusing on what God needs me to be. I've been praying selfishly.

18 give thanks in all circumstances; for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus.

Convicted. By praying over what I felt were my needs, I wasn't being grateful. I have been on edge, wary of disappointment or shortcoming, but I am loved and cared for beyond anything I could ever have imagined by the most powerful being that has existed and ever will...and that's enough for me.

After all of this, a very specific hymn came to mind, and I'll close with this…

A wonderful Savior is Jesus my Lord,
A wonderful Savior to me;
He hideth my soul in the cleft of the rock,
Where rivers of pleasure I see.
      Refrain:
He hideth my soul in the cleft of the rock,
That shadows a dry, thirsty land;
He hideth my life in the depths of His love,
And covers me there with His hand,
And covers me there with His hand.
A wonderful Savior is Jesus my Lord,
He taketh my burden away,
He holdeth me up and I shall not be moved,
He giveth me strength as my day.
With numberless blessings each moment He crowns,
And filled with His fullness divine,
I sing in my rapture, oh, glory to God!
For such a Redeemer as mine.

When clothed with His brightness transported I rise
To meet Him in clouds of the sky,
His perfect salvation, His wonderful love,
I’ll shout with the millions on high
.

Wednesday, December 11, 2013

Early Christmas Present

Tonight, I couldn't sleep. Why? 

I was having a pity party.

I'm not even joking, folks; I was having some kinda night. I don't know if it's because my hormones are wacky, or I'm just mentally exhausted, or what, but I was distraught.

I felt lonely. I felt like I missed the boat on something. I felt like I just couldn't make anyone happy.

I prayed. 

I prayed getting changing into my sleep shirt. I prayed brushing my teeth. I got down on my knees by my bed and I prayed, knowing that I was thinking wrong and feeling wrong, but feeling powerless to stop it

So, there I lay in my bed, soaking my pillow with tears...until....

Until I finally decided I couldn't go to sleep anyway, so I might as well get up. When I did, I saw a message from a VERY dear friend, asking me if I wanted to go to the "DEEPER Christmas" event with her (by Established Footsteps). That, in and of itself, lifted my spirits. On a night when I felt so alone and just unlovely, my sweet friend sent me an invite.

Oh, my dear Lord Jesus...how you know what I need. And it gets better....

It seems, this DEEPER thing is a three part event. The first two parts have already happened, but you can listen to them online, too...FOR FREE! So, what do I do...I listen to the first one, of course.

And it was brilliant.

Sharon Thomas (founder of Established Footsteps) speaks about trying to find the true meaning of Christmas in her life and what God has been showing her...

and it's in John 4:3-42.

Yeah, you read that right. It wasn't the first chapter or two of any of the gospels that helped her. It wasn't the sweet baby Jesus wrapped in swaddling clothes and lying in a manger with the cattle, oxen, and sheep. It wasn't gifts of gold, frankincense, or myrrh, or angel announcements on a starry night.

Nope...it was the Samaritan woman at the well.

Now, I strongly encourage you to listen to Sharon tell you this...strongly. But, just in case you want the cliffs notes, here goes.

The Samaritan woman was mixed up in oh so many ways, not the least of which was her mistaking Jesus trying to give her literal water instead of actual water. She was mixed up in her life all over the place.

John 4:10 says:

Jesus answered her, 
“If you knew the gift of God 
and who it is that asks you for a drink, 
you would have asked him 
and he would have given you living water.”

Eventually, he does just that, gives her the living water.

I knew all that...but I still didn't connect it with Christmas.

But then Sharon takes us over to Isaiah 9:6. AHA! This is a familiar Christmas passage, right? Yes! I know this one! I'm all like Elf in a Gimbel's screaming about Santa - "ISAIAH 9:6!!! I KNOW THAT! I GET THAT!" - but I didn't...not all the way, anyway.

That verse reads:

For to us a child is born,
to us a son is given,

and the government will be on his shoulders.
And he will be called


Wonderful Counselor, Mighty God,
    

Everlasting Father, Prince of Peace.

Where she rested with this one was on "Wonderful Counselor." She says the meaning of the Hebrew word there for Wonderful is not just "great", it's like "awesome beyond all possible comprehension."

God sent us a Counselor that is awesome...beyond all possible comprehension.

He sent me a Counselor that knows me better than I know myself; who created me; who loves me; who knows the beginning and the end.

My Counselor doesn't just point me in the right direction; He can give me the power I need to walk that way!!

My Counselor knows. I don't have to wait a week or two and keep a journal and try to remember what my problem was on Wednesday of last week. He knows now.

He knows when I'm lying in bed having an all-out pity party and soaking my pillow. He knows me. He loves me. And He (and ONLY He) knows how to fix me!

Praise be to GOD!

And get this, that is our Christmas gift folks!!! The baby in the manger was SUPER awesome, really and truly, but the sacrifice of our Savior on a cross, the sending of the Counselor, and our ability to have a relationship with God is the REAL gift!

Well that's Christmas, folks. Wrap it, bag, it, and take it home.

So, back to the Samaritan woman...she's all confused looking for literal water, and here we are, all confused, trying to find the perfect Christmas gift for people, and make every play, and bake every cookie and cake, and sing the right notes, and find the right sweater.

It's just earthly water, people; it might quench your thirst for a minute, but not for long.

Sharon calls it "Present Day disconnect." Get it? "Present Day." That's punny!

But God has already given us the best gift ever. He's given us the living water! He's given us water that will quench our thirst into eternity. He gave us a Counselor. Hear me? 

This is important - He gave YOU a Counselor. 
YOU. 
Yes...YOU.

Praise be to GOD!

So, this year, while you're having so much fun at Christmas (and by all means, have fun), make sure you take some time to talk to your heavenly Counselor; drink some living water. And while you're at it, let someone else know about the gift, too!

And listen to Sharon say all this because she really is a lot better at it. I'm sure I'll have more to say after I listen to the second and third installments.

But for now, I'm going to go back to bed, cuddle my husband, and hope my pillow is dry by now.

MERRY CHRISTMAS!!

The Prodigal Friend

I don't really have time to sugar-coat things this morning, so we're just going to get down to some raw reality.

I sat in church on Sunday and listened to a woman give a testimony that was very touching. I appreciated every minute of it, but I sat right there in my church pew and let envy crawl all over me (okay, I was in a chair, actually, because we were in the Family Life Center...same thing).

What caused this reaction during this lovely, emotionally charged testimony?

She was thankful for her best girlfriend.

That's all.

She was so desperately thankful for her best girlfriend, and then, later, I saw pictures of them on facebook together...and again, I felt so envious.

God doesn't like envy. I don't know where to even begin to illustrate this Biblically because it's just all over the place. But we'll start here:

But if you have bitter envy and selfish ambition in your heart,
don't brag and lie in defiance of the truth.
Such wisdom does not come down from above,
but is earthly, sensual, and demonic.
For where envy and selfish ambition exist,
there is disorder and every kind of evil.
(James 3:14-16)

OUCH, right?

So, because I'd prefer to not be filled with "disorder and every kind of evil," I suppose we should get down to removing this envy.

There are going to be people who read this who will be so confused because I am their friend. There will also be people who will be confused because I don't look like I need any more friends.

First, one can never have too many friends. I love friends.

Second, I do have wonderful girlfriends. I have beautiful women in my life that love me and I love them.

So why the envy?

Because I'm missing out on the deeper relationships! I want a bestie! (or 5...whatever). I want to feel deep in my heart like I have girlfriends who are always there, who want to spend time with me, and who get me. Why don't I feel that way?!

Because I'm not taking care of those relationships. 

I'm not taking care of my friends. There's a nasty, hard reality.

I'm a busy girl, right? When this degree is done, then I'll have time to foster my friendships. After Christmas, I'll have more time to spend with them. When I'm done with this project or that project, then there will be more time.

Consider this verse:

And let us consider 
how we may spur one another on
toward love and good deeds,
not giving up meeting together, 
as some are in the habit of doing,
but encouraging one another-
and all the more as you see the Day approaching.
(Hebrews 10:24-25)

We always see it and say, "See? That's why we go to church!" But honestly, is that it? I don't think so. When was the last time you really had time to spur someone on toward love and good deeds on Sunday morning? Not just in Sunday School or passing in the hallway while you herd your children, but on a deep personal level?

Exactly.

If I want to have a bestie or 5, then I am going to have to MAKE time, just like every other relationship in my life. 

I will not be close to Jesus if I don't make time for him. 
I will not be close to my husband if I don't make time for him.
I will not be close to my children if I don't make time for them.

I will not be close to my friends if I don't make time for them.

In the middle of the night last night I woke up dreaming of the parable of "The Prodigal Son" and for the life of me, I couldn't figure out why. I prayed that God would help me find the reason, if there was one. I didn't get it until JUST NOW, in the middle of writing this post. I actually took the time to look up the word "prodigal." It means this: "spending money or resources freely or recklessly; wastefully extravagant." 

OUCH.

I have been so wastefully extravagant with my friends and have not guarded my friendships as I should.

What's even more convicting about the whole thing is that, when I woke up thinking about the parable in the middle of the night, I woke up thinking about the son's humility. He came back to his father groveling...not that the father required that, but it was still necessary for his own heart. He had to be broken by his behavior.

So here I sit...broken by my wastefulness and truly repentant.

To my friends, if you're reading this, please forgive me (although I'm sure I'll be getting in touch with you personally). Please forgive me, and please help me. Please drag me out of my house, away from my books and the 8 million other things I have going on. Please help me foster a deeper relationship with you.

I miss you, and I love you.

Most sincerely,
Your prodigal friend

Linking up with:


Thursday, December 5, 2013

Am I Kind?

Last night in bed I was thinking about the Fruits of the Spirit, and I asked my husband, "Do you think I'm kind?"

I so totally set him up, right?

See, I LOVE words, but he's not a really wordy person, per se; so I have a tendency to try to help him have words.

The answer I wanted to hear would have gone something like this: "Of course, darling! You're the kindest person I've ever met besides Jesus himself!"

That's not what I heard.

Fortunately, my husband is a genius, and he figured out how to answer that question both gracefully and truthfully.

His reply was as follows:

"Generally, yes of course, I think you're very kind, but I also think that's the wrong question to ask. If we think to ourselves, 'I'm a kind person' then it implies that there's no room for improvement. Instead, however, I think the proper question to ask is 'Am I as good at giving grace as I ought to be?' That completely changes things doesn't it?"

Ho-ly cow. Do you see why I'm so in love with this man?!

That was such a brilliant answer and it touched my heart more than a quick, "yes, of course" could have.

Then, just this morning, I went to check a discussion board for a class group project, and once again, someone is late meeting a deadline...really late, and I found prideful, arrogance in the place where loving, grace should be.

In the way you judge, 
you will be judged
and by your standard of measure, 
it will be measured to you.
Matthew 7:2

So beyond that today, I have nothing but a prayer:

Dear Heavenly Father,

Thank you. Thank you for giving me a husband to be a spiritual leader for our home. Thank you for his wisdom and his love for You and for his family.

Forgive me, please, for my arrogance and unforgiving nature.

Please help me, Lord, to be a mirror of your grace in a sinful, unforgiving world, so that Your light will shine all the brighter. I know God that even if I succeed in this, it will not be by my own will, but through Your Spirit within me.

You are might and holy and loving, and I am so grateful every day that I am able to have a relationship with You through the sacrifice of Your only Son, Jesus Christ. It's in His name I pray, today. Amen.


Linking up today with:
Juana Mikels
Time Warp Wife
Simply Beth



Monday, December 2, 2013

Catching A Thief

There's a thief in my house. I just know it. I keep noticing something is stolen, and as much as I try to get it back, I just can't.

It's time. My time is being stolen, and I know just who is taking it.


Yes...facebook.

I don't mean to be there. I get on the laptop to do schoolwork (necessary), write a blog post (necessary), or research something (necessary), and then, somehow, before I even know it's happening, my cursor is in the navigation bar and my fingers are flitting across the keyboard. I don't even have to type in the whole word...my computer just knows. 

"fac" + enter = facebook

Once I'm there, I just go to look at just one thing. Or just tell one person something.

Before I know it, I'm scrolling mindlessly through status updates, pictures, e-cards, blog posts, and share if you love your _______.

I wish I could say I just do it on the laptop, but the thief is on my phone, too! 

I'm in the car with my husband and kids...I'll check facebook.
I'm watching a movie...I'll check facebook.
I'm in bed...I'll check facebook.

It's nuts.

It's almost as though my brain is so used to being engaged in multiple things at a time that I just can't simply concentrate on one thing. Instead of just being in the car with my husband and/or children and taking in what's going on around me, my mind has to busy itself.

It's sad.

And let's be real here, people: no one is holding a gun to my head and telling me to read status updates. The thief isn't really facebook, it's my own poor choices.

Right now I'm at a point where I want to be very purposeful and mindful of everything I do: talking to God, speaking to my children, eating, spending time with loved ones...let's just add facebook to that list. It's time I acknowledged the problem. That's the first step, right?

I won't say I won't visit facebook anymore. Like anything else, it's fine in moderation, but I've let it get out of control.

It's time to reign it in.

What thieves do you allow in your home that steal your time? Your joy? Your peace?

I'll leave you with a few verses today that I'm meditating on in relation to this. Do you have more to add to the list?

A man without self-control is like a city broken into and left without walls.
(Proverbs 25:28)

No temptation has overtaken you that is not common to man. 
God is faithful, and he will not let you be tempted beyond your ability, 
but with the temptation he will also provide the way of escape,
 that you may be able to endure it.
(1 Corinthians 10:13)

For God gave us a spirit not of fear
but of power and love and self-control.
(2 Timothy 1:7)

Do you not know that in a race all the runners run, 
but only one receives the prize? 
So run that you may obtain it. 
Every athlete exercises self-control in all things. 
They do it to receive a perishable wreath, 
but we an imperishable. 
So I do not run aimlessly; 
I do not box as one beating the air. 
But I discipline my body and keep it under control, 
lest after preaching to others I myself should be disqualified.
(1 Corinthians 9:24-27)

Tuesday, November 26, 2013

A Spiral Approach

I am so blessed to have friends and family that are so very supportive about my blog and my writing...and just me in general really. My mother-in-law is super awesome and quite often sends me little comments or insights about my blogs after I write them.

The other day, after she read this post where I said I felt like a spiritual dunce because God keeps having to show me the same lesson over and over, she sent me the most amazing little insight. I just had to share it.

She said God teaches us lessons...like Saxon teaches math!!!

Mind-blowing, right?!

For those of you who aren't homeschool curriculum obsessed, let me explain.

Saxon is a math curriculum a lot of homeschoolers use. It uses a spiral approach. What this means, is that a lesson is introduced sort of briefly, and then you just practice it every day. Once you get that down, then the lesson is sort of taught again, but from a different angle or a slightly different, but related, concept.

Do you hear the genius that came from that brilliant woman?!

God teaches us like Saxon Math!

He knows us. He knows how we work. He created us. He created ME. 

O LORD, you have searched me and you know me
You know when I sit and when I rise; 
you perceive my thoughts from afar.
You discern my going out and my lying down; 
you are familiar with all my ways.
Before a word is on my tongue you know it completely, O LORD....
For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother's womb.
I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made
your works are wonderful, I know that full well. 
(Psalm 139:1-4,13-14, NIV, emphasis added)

This bit of scripture offers so much wisdom and so much comfort.

My God knows me and he LOVES me. I am fearfully and wonderfully made by an Almighty God.

In His infinite wisdom, God shows us a lesson we need to learn, lets us practice, and then shows us another component when we're ready!

Praise be to GOD!


As a side note, but related, Intentionally Yours is hosting an event on January 4th at The Bridge in Princeton, North Carolina called Intentionally and Wonderfully Made, and it speaks to exactly this subject. Princeton is about 40 minutes outside of Raleigh. I'm definitely planning on going because I know this is a message God has been trying to get through to me...really written on my heart...for quite some time. 

Tickets for the event are only $5 in advance or $10 at the door! Please visit them at http://www.intentionallyyours.org or see the facebook event here.


Linking up today with:
Time Warp Wife
Juana Mikels


Saturday, November 23, 2013

Playing with Razors

My little Ryan hurt himself yesterday. Although he's been told many times not to, he decided to touch his sister's razor in the bathroom.

Sometimes, it's just hard to be a little boy with sisters.

He came to me with a bloody thumb and tears in his sad, little eyes and wailed, "Mommy it hurts!"

I bandaged his little digit and gave him hugs. In this situation he'd already gotten punishment enough, but he did get a little speech.

We talked about why mommies and daddies have rules: to keep their children from getting hurt. We also talked about God's rules for us: they are for our benefit, and keep us from getting hurt. Emily chimed in at that point and said, "And to keep us from hurting other people."

*sigh* I don't know if she knows the weight of her statement

My sister-in-law, Jamie, wrote a beautiful blog post recently about her walk with God, and it so mirrored mine. I've said it before, and I'll say it again: I just didn't get it. I had no idea how to go about living it. I thought there were "good Christians," and then there was me, and I tried, but I just couldn't be that good. I was too dirty

I made decisions for my life and never once consulted God because I prayed, but I had no clue how to hear His voice in my life; so why pray about decisions? 

I was flying on a wing and a prayer. My plane was in bad shape, and all my instruments were down. I didn't know where I was going, but I hoped I was still sort of in one piece when I got there.

Just to let you know, that's not a good way to go through life.

But then, God brought people into my life that showed me how to walk with Him...and it changed my life forever. He bandaged my wounded heart and continues to every day.

Last night I had dessert with my gorgeous young friend and her wonderful boyfriend. We talked about the blog and church, and she said she's trying to find God for herself. She's had some bad experiences with religion and church and hypocrisy and seeing unfaithful Christians, and now she's trying to work out her faith.

Oh my heart.

I told her I was proud of her and she needs to find Jesus for herself. Hear this: you cannot own someone else's religion. It has to be yours, in your heart. I have faith that she'll find Him, and I'll help her any way I can.

But it made me think back to when I was younger...all three years ago or so. I thought back to all the times I was claiming Jesus and clamoring around in the dark. I think again about people I may have misled or turned away from the gospel. I've asked for forgiveness, and I know it's been granted, but often accepting it is the hardest part.

Please understand this, and I say it not with condemnation but from experience - if you are claiming Jesus, but walking in darkness (not reflecting His light), then you are actively working for the other side. I see that now. There is no middle ground. I wasn't helping, so I was hurting...that's just how it is.

This is the message we have heard from him and proclaim to you, 
that God is light, and in him is no darkness at all. 
If we say we have fellowship with him while we walk in darkness, 
we lie and do not practice the truth. 
But if we walk in the light, as he is in the light, 
we have fellowship with one another, 
and the blood of Jesus his Son cleanses us from all sin.
(1 John 1:5-7, ESV)

So, if you're there, walking in darkness, and you want to know how to walk in The Light, contact me. Email me (alissaandjosiah@yahoo.com); facebook me (https://www.facebook.com/daizygirl1979); comment here; heck, send carrier pigeons, whatever it takes. If you don't want to talk to me, call or email my pastor, Jim Weston, at Menchville Baptist Church (757-877-4532; pastorjim@menchvillebaptist.com).

Just don't go another day without claiming what is already yours! All you have to do is reach out and take it! There may be a cost (there is with every decision), and it probably won't be painless; I won't tell you a lie. But I will tell you this: it is always worth it. HE is always worth it. The relationship with Him is always worth it.

Life has many "razors", and unfortunately, most of them look like they'd be fun to touch. God's Word is there for us, not to hinder us from having fun, but to keep us and others, safe. We all have scars from the razors we've played with, but God is waiting, hearing our desperate cries saying, "Jesus it hurts!" 

But He's still waiting: to dry our tears, bandage our wounded hearts, and teach us the lessons we so desperately need. Let Him.

Do not fear, for I am with you;
Do not be dismayed, for I am your God.
I will strengthen you, and help you;
I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.
(Isaiah 41:10, NIV)

Linking up with:
Simply Beth
Juana Mikels
Time Warp Wife