Father's Day

Photo credit: Amanda Truth Photography

This weekend we celebrate the most important male figures in our lives (or at least who should be): our fathers.

As a father, I see my kids growing so quickly - the words they're using now, the conversations they have and try to have, even when you can't understand them. None of them crawl any more; they're running. They're trying to have serious conversations with us about something that's obviously very important to them, but almost impossible to convey, whatever it is.

This is a vital time in their lives: an exciting time, a time full of changes and influence.

One of my friends said he wants to make absolutely sure he can be around for every little moment as his future child grows up.

I was thinking, there is something with my children that is even more important to me than watching them grow up.

I want to watch them grow deep.

In life, there are going to be times of trouble, heartache, unexpected storms, and the only way to make it through is by the strength of the roots.

Fathers: tend the roots!

He will be like a tree firmly planted by streams of water,

which yields its fruit in season

and its leaf does not whither;

And in whatever he does, he prospers.

Psalm 1:3

The foundation you lay will determine their self-confidence and trust in those around them.

Often, we don't understand the power we have as fathers, or we wish to deny it. With great power comes great responsibility, as we all learned from a certain web-slinger and his father-figure uncle.

It's true though.

Sometimes, our children will define their own path and struggle in spite of a good foundation that's been laid, and some of our children will find the right path in spite of the fathers we are.

This is not an excuse to back off and let God have His way, because He made it very clear to us His way is for us to be more than involved.

It's for us to be a foundation that they can build upon.

As a father, I want you to know a few things.

• You matter more than they think you do.

What you do, how you act, how you teach your children to behave, whether or not you can sit down and have a conversation with them, whether or not you can have a spiritual conversation with them will have more to do with their lives than almost anyone else they will ever come into contact with.

• You matter more than you think you do.

Your perspective of yourself, your marriage, your wife, and your kids will be a huge factor in how they think of themselves, what they believe about marriage, and how a husband should treat his wife.

How you treat things of God, how you react when God moves, and moments when you wait in expectation... if you include them in these, they will gain a perspective of God very few ever gain without spending a long time searching for themselves.

• It's okay to admit it when you've messed up.

It's a sign of strength to be able to admit to anyone when you're wrong, not a sign of weakness. Your kids will respect you for it and will admire the fact that you cared enough about them to apologize instead of taking a hard line.

It creates an atmosphere where they can admit when they mess up because it shows that their dad is human, and it's okay if they are too.

• Let them know that you're not always in control.

There are situations you just can't handle and were never meant to. Let the people around you know.

If we are honest, we are NEVER in complete control.

If a paycheck comes in late, you don't control it. If the transmission goes out in the car while on vacation, it probably means things are going to work out a bit differently than planned (I have personal experience with both of these.)

Stress does no one any favors, but letting God do God-things, and giving Him the credit when it happens, teaches faith in a way nothing else can.

• Let your yes be yes, and your no be no.

What this means in my family is a whole lot of maybes, we'll sees, and I hope sos.

I know the kids really hate it, but I would much rather them be disappointed at the initial answer than be disappointed that I broke a promise or wasn't a man of my word.

I'd rather have them be disappointed in my response than my character.

If it's not something I feel absolute about, then I cannot say absolutely, but will do my best to make it happen.

Fathers:

The world needs you. Your children need you.

There is no bench. There are no sidelines.

This is not a game.

There are no buzzer-beaters.

There are always extra innings, and overtime is typically a requirement.

However, depending on the children, a penalty box may be helpful. We typically have to settle for corners.

For those who do not have children yet, but wish for them, know that I pray for you often. There are people around you who will need you to have a similar influence.

I love you, and I pray that God will allow you the opportunity to teach and lead in love as a father.

The ultimate challenge is this:

Be the father they think you are; be the father you wish you had.

Lives depend on it.

Be on your guard;

stand firm in the faith;

be courageous;

be strong.

1 Corinthians 16:13