Tuesday, July 26, 2011

*Correction: Mommy Murdered ALL Things Magical

Yup, that’s me apparently.  I talked to Destiny a couple days ago about my decision to not have Santa visit Mommy’s house, and I became the Murder of All Things Magical.  *sigh*  I can’t necessarily say I blame her.  This is a rough enough time for her.  I’m dating someone, and it looks rather serious.  Her father is dating someone else, too.  He is becoming ever more the atheist, while my household is looking more and more toward the cross every day.  She is thirteen and vacillates daily between tossing aside childhood and all its wonders, and embarking on this great adventure of responsibility we call adulthood.  Therefore, I should have expected the tear-filled, horrified reaction I received.  We’ll get through it, and I think she’ll understand eventually, but it’s not going to be right this second.
I have to admit, part of me is still clinging to the Santa myth, too.  Christmas is one of my favorite times of year.  I love the magic and the feeling of hope and love that accompanies it.  I think this was one of the major deciding factors for me.  My heart is clinging to the wrong magic…and if mine is, then my children’s will as well. 
Destiny argued that I was taking away everything magical.  “Are you going to make him stop pretending to be a dinosaur, too?!  That’s lying right?  Pretending is lying, too!” she cried at me with tears pouring down her poor, little face.  I countered that pretending is rooted in knowing something isn’t real, but using the imagination to explore a world that doesn’t exist.  She then yelled that he watches Spiderman and thinks that’s real…do we tell him EVERYTHING is fake?  Do we kill all his little childhood delusions?  That one actually stumped me a little.
I’ve spent the last couple days mulling that, and I think the answer is “no.”  I do not need to destroy all his magical fantasies at 4 years old.  Thus, if Ryan wants to pretend he’s Harry Potter and I’m Hermione Granger, then we will flourish our wands and yell with intensity “Wingardium Leviosa!”  If he wants to pretend to be Max from Where the Wild Things Are (Maurice Sendak), then we will create mischief and will dance with the monsters while they roar their terrible roars and gnash their terrible teeth and roll their terrible eyes and show their terrible claws and he will be “king of all the wild things.”
But when he comes to me and asks me about Christmas and Easter, I will tell him the story of how God sent his son to Earth to dwell among us.  I will relate the true story of how he lived a sinless life, died a gruesome death and dove into the depths of hell for each of us, and then rose again to prove the glory that was his birthright as the Son of God and prepare his disciples that would spread the Word to the ends of the earth.  That…that is an infinitely wondrous amount of magic.

“And if it seem evil unto you to serve the LORD, choose you this day whom ye will serve ; whether the gods which your fathers served that were on the other side of the flood, or the gods of the Amorites, in whose land ye dwell : but as for me and my house, we will serve the LORD.”  Joshua 24:15 (KJV)


  1. I very much enjoy reading your blog and I am so proud of the personal growth that I see in you each and every day. While I will not make the same choices in regards to my family’s Christmas celebrations at this time in my life, I cannot fault or criticize your decisions. I commend you for your faith and the decisions you are making for your family.

    In the past few years there have been a lot of changes in your life and consequently in your children’s life as well. You are doing a FANTASTIC job raising all three of them and incorporating the changes that you feel are in the right direction. However, I feel it may be a real shock for your children to have Santa vanish overnight. The way you have celebrated Christmas for the past twelve years w/ Destiny has been her “tradition”. I would suspect that yes it would be difficult for her to understand that this must all of a sudden change now, especially with the idea coming from Josiah….a new addition in her family.

    My suggestion, which is that of a novice mother of one who is still trying to find her own direction, is to maybe make the changes slowly and gently. Maybe this year you can make an effort to not reference Santa coming to your house directly. You could still have Santa cookies or decorations and still get the normal Santa pictures taken but slowly do away with these things in the coming years as you see fit.

    On the other hand, instead of receiving gifts from Santa you could just have gifts from Mommy; not making a big spectacle of who the gifts are from. Chances are Ryan will be so excited to open gifts he will not even realize Santa didn’t sign the tag. Emily and Destiny will however notice and see that you are gradually moving forward with your decision. In addition, Christmas Eve you could discuss or watch a movie on the true meaning of Christmas instead of watching a fictional Christmas movie.

    I would focus this year on making new traditions with the kids that focus on the message you would like to convey while not going overboard with the anti-Santa tactic right away. As you know, I am not a writer or blogger and my grammar/editing sucks…but I hope you get what I am trying to say. Keep up the good work and always remember I am SO proud of you and feel very fortunate to have you in my life :)

  2. Hahaha...you are so wonderfully PC Krystyn. I love you. LOL

    You are absolutely right. I am NOT talking about eradicating Santa from the kids' lives and erasing him from their memories via my magic mommy brainwashing techniques. LOL I figured this would just be a good transitional year anyway because Santa will still visit their dad's house AND they will be with HIM on Christmas morning this year. Furthermore, the rule in my house has always been that clothes, shoes, etc. come from Mommy, and toys come from Santa. Since Ryan and I first separated most of the toys have come from him (Santa) and most of the stuff they NEED has come from me anyway. We will still sing Santa songs when they come on the radio and watch fun Christmas movies during the season and bake cookies (Santa, Rudolph, snowflakes, and everything else). ;)

    I can't tell you how much I appreciate you reading my ramblings, being so supportive, and having the courage to tell me when you don't agree with me. You're a great friend!!