Tuesday, July 19, 2011

Building the Foundation

I should really be in bed right now, but instead, I've decided to create this blog that's been rolling around in my head for the past few weeks.

Like everyone, my life is a work in progress; its landscape has changed exponentially in the last 4 years. With a series of baby steps (and some MAJOR blessings from God), my entire world has changed.

Four years ago I had almost lost hope that my life would be anything other than utter mediocrity (at best). I had been in an extremely unhealthy relationship for just over a decade, and while I had three beautiful children to show for it, that was really the extent of the good. I did get to stay at home with my kids at the time, which I will always cherish, but there's an opportunity cost involved in each decision, and in this case, the cost was too high. Slowly a metamorphosis began. I went back to school...something I had been dreaming of doing since I dropped out after one semester of college and began procreating. Then, I started working part time for my church. Next, through a friend at church, I got a full-time job that could support the kids and I and we moved out. I completed my Associates in Business last year, and this year I will begin the journey to complete my Bachelors. Oh, and almost a year ago, I met a WONDERFUL man named Josiah, whom I am currently very pleased to bestow the title of "boyfriend." :)

But, even with all these wonderful changes, I still feel a nagging desire for more. I feel as though I'm being called to do something...different? Bigger? More meaningful? I don't know. I feel God has a purpose for me and He wants me actively seeking His face and His purpose for my life...and so I shall.

First, I know it's definitely time for me to get off the spiritual baby food. I feel like my entire life I've been a Christian, but much more a "Sunday Christian" than anything else. I'm saved, took my kids to church, sang in the choir...heck, I was the children's choir director for a few years. Nevertheless, I felt my faith was stagnant. When my ex-husband and I were together it was difficult because I would be mocked for my beliefs, but even after I left, something was just missing. Since meeting Josiah and his insanely awesome family, I feel like my walk with God is being put back on the right track. Now it's my responsibility to make sure I feed the Spirit that lives in me daily, so I can continue down the these tracks, and bring my kids along with me. So, Construction Project 1: Spiritual Maturity. Progress: Underway.

My next project is a little less well-defined. I'm supposed to do something. I've known for a LONG time that I am supposed to do something. God is telling me I'm supposed to do something. But guess what? I have absolutely NO CLUE what "something" consists of. Nada. Zilch. I've thrown around ideas from teaching or counseling to singing or speaking in churches. But still, I have no answer.

I've decided the best way to deal with this is to just pray, live, and keep trying new things until God shows me my path. My current projects in this area include the pursuit of my Bachelors with three different concentrations (Business, Social Science, & Psychology) through Liberty University online and volunteering on the planning committee to put together a REALLY cool event with the Big Brothers Big Sisters organization (Hampton Roads Amazing Little Race!).

If at any point any of you decide to chime in (if anyone ends up reading this), I'd love to hear your thoughts and suggestions. I'd like to hear other metamorphosis stories too!!

Construction Project 2: Alissa's Purpose. Status: Just beginning...

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