Quick and Dirty: Just Say It

Alright this one is going to be quick and dirty (on the fly and no editing). I feel led to write it, but I don't have a lot of time today, so please forgive me!

I've been struggling some lately with writing...wondering if this is really what God wants me to do, or if I just think it is because I LOVE it so much. If you read the blog, then you know I've also been struggling with seeking approval from others, too.

Well, I've been praying a lot about both...and then God moved.

Just when I stopped seeking the approval, and just when I stopped reaching, He reached out for me.

First, I got an email back that I'd been hoping for, and it served as confirmation that I'm on the right track.

I also got a message from sweet young lady saying that a blog I wrote was just what she needed in her relationship.

Then, last night at church, I had multiple people tell me they've been reading the blog and that it touched them in some way.

Finally, I got a voice mail this morning from a dear friend. She left it last weekend, but I am HORRIBLE at checking my voice mail. She said God was working through me and my blog. She had been at a meeting after reading my blog on letting our light shine, and she brought up the post and it touched people.

Hear this...my grandmother always said "self praise is no recommendation," and that's not what this is. I know FULL WELL that this isn't me...it's God moving in me because let me tell you, my nature is dirty: self-seeking, willful, and deceitful. It's only Him working in me that makes this blog worth anything.

What's the point then? He's not just using me. 

Each person that felt led to tell me how they felt about my blog or how it touched them allowed God to use them! They were encouragers (yeah...I made up a word).

That's the moral of the story today folks. If you feel led to give someone encouragement, but you don't want to because you'd feel stupid or you're sure they already know, DO IT ANYWAY.

Do not let any unwholesome talk come from your mouths, 

but only what is helpful for building others up 

according to their needs, 

that it may benefit those who listen.

Ephesians 4:29 (NIV, emphasis added)

This verse says "according to their needs," but how do you know what someone else needs?

You don't. 

It's not our job to figure out how God works, it's only our job to do what He wants.

So today, if God lays it on your heart to encourage someone...just say it. You never can tell what may become of it.


Linking up with:

Juana Mikels

Seeking the Light

I feel like God has some lessons in my life stuck on "replay."  More than likely, that's because I'm just not really getting it the first time!

Right now I'm working in a book called "Discovering Your Creativity" by the wonderful people from Women of Faith (I picked it up used from Moore Expressions for $1! Only the first couple pages were written on.) One of the questions last week asked you what you would do for a career if there were NO boundaries - if every job paid the same, no childcare considerations, etc. - the sky's the limit.

My responses?

• Sing
• Act
• Dance 
• Write

As I looked at my responses, I felt a familiar shame creep in....

"Wow, Alissa Shea, could you be any more, 'LOOK AT ME!!'? All your responses are so spotlight-seeking. You are such an attention whore!" (Yes, I called myself an attention whore...it's not a nice word, but it's truth...so there).

So, there I was...staring at the book in shame...wondering why everything I dreamed of being was showy...wondering why I couldn't be different.

But then...

I continued the study.  And the verse we had to look up was this:

"You are the light of the world. 

A town built on a hill cannot be hidden.

 Neither do people light a lamp and put it under a bowl. 

Instead they put it on a stand, and it gives light to everyone in the house. 

In the same way, let your light shine before others, 

that they may see your good deeds and glorify your Father in heaven."

Matthew 5:14-16

Oh my dear, God. Why do I always question and put down your creation.

Once again, God showed me that He made me, He formed me in my mother's womb, not to be ashamed of who I am, but to use the gifts He gave me to glorify Him.

As long as I keep that in perspective, as long as I am not self-seeking but God seeking, then I am doing exactly what He made me to do.

God made Alissa.

• He made her happy, and giggly.
• He made her with a voice that sings and a heart that dances (her body loves to dance, too, but we're just not putting that on display).
• He made her with a heart for words and a love for expressing them.

God made me, and he has a plan for me. Instead of wallowing in shame, I need to embrace that, and seek His will for my life and His glory.

Are you showy, too, or is your light different? Make no mistake, if you're an introvert, someone who hates the spotlight and does everything you can to stay out of it, this lesson still applies. 

YOU HAVE LIGHT. 

God created you exactly the way you are for a purpose, and he has good works prepared for you so you can walk in them (Eph. 2:10) and, in doing so, shine the light on Him.

I'd love to hear about your light? What would you do if you could do anything? What did God make you to do that makes your heart sing?

Whatever it is, I pray that you'll embrace it, and LET IT SHINE.

Linking up today with Time Warp Wife

My 100th Post And An Announcement...Maybe

How is it possible that this is my 100th post? It seems completely insane.

I started this blog on July 19, 2011...just over two years and three months ago. In that time, I've shared SO much of my life with whomever decided to take a glance. Too much? Maybe, but I don't think so.

As I write this, I'm at almost 9,000 page views. At some point, almost 9,000 times different people have taken a peak at different parts of my life. This seems odd, but at the same time, there are blogs that have WAY over 9,000 readers daily...my little blog is just a drop in the bucket...a faint whisper in the cacophony of the blogging world.

I took a little while this morning to look back at my blogs and reflect. In some ways, my life is vastly different, in others quite the same, and good chunk lies somewhere between the two extremes.

What have I shared over the past 2 1/4 years?

The guilt-ridden woes of a tired mommy pushed to the brink...

Tough decisions I've had to make...

Where I'm from...

Where I'm going...

Conviction...

Announcements...

And ever so much more.  I told myself I wouldn't cry while writing this, and apparently, I lied to myself. I just can't help it. This is not the greatest blog I've ever read, by far, but there's a lot of my heart in it.

And now, as I'm posting my 100th blog, I'm considering moving on. Alissa's Life Under Construction has meant a lot to me, but it may be time to change.

I will continue blogging, of course, but I'm considering something...different.

More to come as details emerge.

For now, thank you all for every time you set eyes on this blog. Thank you for sharing my ups and downs and accompanying me on this journey through spiritual growth.

The Soul of a Writer

I know I said I was not thinking about my purpose right now, but something has really been on my mind lately: I want to write.  I think about it all day.  That has to be some sort of sign right?  I think I’m just really, really scared.  I’m scared of being some sort of fraud who calls herself a writer, but is actually just a sub-par individual capable of stringing a few sentences together.

I question myself constantly.  Am I even talented?  Will anybody even care to read what I have to say?  What the heck am I going to write about?  I've spent my whole life being a chameleon...where's my niche?  The list could go on forever.

 

I do think about it all the time though.  I feel as though in opening the door to writing on my blog I've cracked the wall of a damn...and now there's a mighty river of words pressing to break free.  I rarely ever have the opportunity to actually write when I want to though...dang job that pays the bills (jk..sorta).  Thus, what I think in my head is usually infinitely more eloquent and clever than what actually ends up coming out when I sit down to write (or at least I think it is and I'm okay with that delusion).  At the end of the day, when finally the din subsides and I’m able to focus, I stare blankly at the screen thinking, “What was it I wanted to write about again?  What was the fun phrase I thought of?”  But alas, I rarely remember.  When I finish each post I’ll be semi-pleased with it, but I know somewhere in the dark, cobwebby corners of my brain there is an even better post I missed out on because of the busy day and all the noise in my head.

Be that as it may, I still feel the need to write, and after all the praying I've been doing about my life in recent months, I think that has to mean something.  And about my niche?  Who knows.  God has given me a little piece of his plan, but that doesn't mean He's ready to give me the whole thing yet.  For right now, I'm completely happy trying to brush up on my skills here, going to school, and praying about the next step.

What about you?  For any fellow bloggers who happen to read this (if there are any), do you feel like a "writer"?

How do you choose what you write about?

 

Building the Foundation

I should really be in bed right now, but instead, I've decided to create this blog that's been rolling around in my head for the past few weeks.

Like everyone, my life is a work in progress; its landscape has changed exponentially in the last 4 years. With a series of baby steps (and some MAJOR blessings from God), my entire world has changed.

Four years ago I had almost lost hope that my life would be anything other than utter mediocrity (at best). I had been in an extremely unhealthy relationship for just over a decade, and while I had three beautiful children to show for it, that was really the extent of the good. I did get to stay at home with my kids at the time, which I will always cherish, but there's an opportunity cost involved in each decision, and in this case, the cost was too high. Slowly a metamorphosis began. I went back to school...something I had been dreaming of doing since I dropped out after one semester of college and began procreating. Then, I started working part time for my church. Next, through a friend at church, I got a full-time job that could support the kids and I and we moved out. I completed my Associates in Business last year, and this year I will begin the journey to complete my Bachelors. Oh, and almost a year ago, I met a WONDERFUL man named Josiah, whom I am currently very pleased to bestow the title of "boyfriend." :)

But, even with all these wonderful changes, I still feel a nagging desire for more. I feel as though I'm being called to do something...different? Bigger? More meaningful? I don't know. I feel God has a purpose for me and He wants me actively seeking His face and His purpose for my life...and so I shall.

First, I know it's definitely time for me to get off the spiritual baby food. I feel like my entire life I've been a Christian, but much more a "Sunday Christian" than anything else. I'm saved, took my kids to church, sang in the choir...heck, I was the children's choir director for a few years. Nevertheless, I felt my faith was stagnant. When my ex-husband and I were together it was difficult because I would be mocked for my beliefs, but even after I left, something was just missing. Since meeting Josiah and his insanely awesome family, I feel like my walk with God is being put back on the right track. Now it's my responsibility to make sure I feed the Spirit that lives in me daily, so I can continue down the these tracks, and bring my kids along with me. So, Construction Project 1: Spiritual Maturity. Progress: Underway.

My next project is a little less well-defined. I'm supposed to do something. I've known for a LONG time that I am supposed to do something. God is telling me I'm supposed to do something. But guess what? I have absolutely NO CLUE what "something" consists of. Nada. Zilch. I've thrown around ideas from teaching or counseling to singing or speaking in churches. But still, I have no answer.

I've decided the best way to deal with this is to just pray, live, and keep trying new things until God shows me my path. My current projects in this area include the pursuit of my Bachelors with three different concentrations (Business, Social Science, & Psychology) through Liberty University online and volunteering on the planning committee to put together a REALLY cool event with the Big Brothers Big Sisters organization (Hampton Roads Amazing Little Race!).

If at any point any of you decide to chime in (if anyone ends up reading this), I'd love to hear your thoughts and suggestions. I'd like to hear other metamorphosis stories too!!

Construction Project 2: Alissa's Purpose. Status: Just beginning...