Give Me A Break...Or Not

Yesterday was a rough day. The busyness of the past couple weeks came back to haunt me as I tried desperately to get all my assignments done.

I don't really remember the kids going to bed last night, and at some point Josiah disappeared, too. I finished my assignments around 9:30, and then wrote a blog that I finished posting and linking around 10:30. By that time, I was way too awake to try to go to sleep, so I spent some time online trying to decompress for about an hour. I still didn't sleep well, though. Sometimes, if my brain is engaged for too long, there's just no shutting it off, unfortunately.

Then, this morning, long after Josiah had already left for work, he sent me a text asking how I slept. I told him, "not well at all," and asked how he slept. His response:

"Okay. Why'd you wait so long to come to bed?"

Awww, I thought to myself, he missed me.

I explained to him what I just explained above, that I was trying to decompress for a bit. I thought he'd get that, and maybe he did, but I could still tell he was irritated with me.

And then, I started to get irritated.

He escapes every now and then. He'll retreat to the room and play his guitar or work on his music. Why don't I get a break?

I spent all day homeschooling, making purchases for projects, helping with a government lapbook, putting together dinner, leading devotions, and getting my assignments done...all with four kids asking questions and making noise. Don't I deserve a break, too?!

Then...as always...conviction.

My husband didn't want me to come to bed to get in the way of my break...he wanted to BE my break.

And then I saw him in my head:

His tired eyes last night as he waited for me to get done with my assignments;

His sweet face when he brought me home the Diet Dr. Pepper and dark chocolate because he knew I'd be stressed;

His willingness to get the kids in bed and take care of things last night so I could do what I needed to do.

This man LOVES me. He CARES about me. He WANTS me. And here I am whining about it.

So, now this is me, sitting down at the table and pouring a steaming cup of conviction for myself, heaped with a healthy dose of repentance.

How about you? Care to sit with me? If you'll share this cup with me, I think you'll find that, often, the little things that annoy you most about your husband can be turned into something positive...something that initially you loved and cherished in him.

Does he spend too much time watching sports? Perhaps you were initially drawn to his manly, competitive side.

Does he forget to pick up his socks or leave a mess in the sink? Perhaps you were initially drawn to his laid-back nature.

Does he fail to plan and change plans often? Perhaps you were initially drawn to his spunk and spontaneity.

Does he have a hard time being serious, often saying the wrong thing at the wrong time? Perhaps you were initially drawn to his sense of humor.

No matter what the "little thing" is, it can probably be traced back to something you loved and cherished about him in the beginning. I urge you today to take those things that irritate you, and find the good in them.

We should seek the good in others, just as we want them to always seek the good in us, looking over our flaws. "Do to others as you would have them do to you....Be merciful, just as your Father is merciful" (Luke 6: 31,36, NIV).

So tonight, just after the kids go to bed, know where I'll be? In that bed, waiting for my wonderful, loving, caring husband because I've got some making up to do...

and maybe, just maybe, you do too.

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