Corinthians 3 Thursday: Clarifying Values

What are your values?

No...don't just skim over it. Really take a second to think about the question.

What are your values?

If you're anything like me when I first read that question, then you said, "I know my values!! They are...uh...I mean...you know, I'm a Christian, so I have those values!!"

Which, is true. I am a Christian, and I have that worldview. Therefore, everything I look at is filtered through my faith. However, it's also a cop-out.

In Christian Coaching, Collins quotes authors Williams and Menendez from their book Becoming a Professional Life Coach: "Once clients are conscious of values, they act as the true north point of a compass, guiding coaching clients in a direction that makes their life journey less haphazard and more purposeful" (Collins, 2009, pg. 145).

So what we're talking about here is defining the things YOU value most in life and then making sure your actions line up with your values. If they don't, then you're living a life that doesn't reconcile...and that's bad news in the end. It's living a life with no "soul integrity" (which is, I think, a term from Unglued by Lisa TerKeurst).

But why is this part of the process of finding direction? Simple. We can't know where God wants us to go if we don't know who and where we are now. This is simply us taking an inventory of what we're working with before we get moving. To do this, we'll need to clarify our values, discuss our passions, and discover our spiritual gifts and personal strengths. THEN we can start talking about where we want to go.

So, how exactly do we list these "foundational values that anchor our lives" (Collins, 2009, pg. 367)?

Well, there are a couple ways. First, Collins provides a list in Appendix F of his book. The reader/client is asked to choose between 12 and 15 of the words that resonate with him the most. So, while many of them may apply, try to choose the ones that mean the most to you.

It's a long list, so take your time!

Accomplishment	Fun	Productivity
Affirmation	Gentleness	Purity
Ambition	Genuineness	Quality
Authenticity	Good taste	Recognition
Beauty	Growth	Relaxation
Being a model	Hard word	Respect for life
Being in control	Honesty	Respect for people
Career	Humility	Respect for the environment
Caution	Humor	Risk taking
Collaboration	Impacting people	Security
Communicating	Independence	Self-esteem
Community	Influence	Self-expression
Compassion	Inspiring others	Sensitivity
Competence	Integrity	Servanthood
Consistency with biblical teaching	Joy	Service
Creativity	Lack of pretense	Sexual fulfillment
Determination	Love	Silence
Diligence	Love of learning	Sincerity
Efficiency	Loyalty	Solitude
Elegance	Making money	Spiritual growth
Encouragement	Marriage	Stability
Enlightenment	Mentoring	Success
Excellence	Nurturing	Temperance
Excitement	Obedience	Tolerance
Experiencing pleasure	Orderliness	Tongue control
Faithfulness	Patience	Tranquility
Family	Peace	Trust
Forgiveness	Perfection	Truth
Forward looking	Performance	Winning
Freedom	Persistence	Worship
Frugality	Personal power	Add your own….
Fulfillment	Physical vitality

If you're anything like me, then your list was kind of long. However, there were some I circled that I really felt overlapped, or one encompassed the other. To help shorten the list, I asked Destiny what she feels my values are. After letting her look at me with a blank stare for about 30 seconds, I clarified: "What do I value most?" Her list was pretty comparable to my own.

She said my values were as follows: family, books, education, and faith. Pretty accurate, but I'm hoping she didn't mean in that order.

My final list, in order of priority or dominance, looked like this:

1. Faith in God
2. Family
3. Love
4. Joy
5. Humor
6. Communication
7. Authenticity
8. Learning
9. Analysis
10. Spiritual/Personal growth

With that, I let certain values be a subheading for others. For example, my faith in God also encompasses a lot of values that aren't listed, like honesty and integrity.

I'm sure a lot of people will find "analysis" a bit odd, but it's just a big part of who I am. I analyze everything - sometimes far too much. Nevertheless, it's a big part of who I am, and why I'm able to pour out my dirt/life's lessons on this blog.

If you still need help clarifying your values, you can do a couple things. First, ask someone close to you. Be careful with children, though..they're brutally honest. *smile*

You can also ask yourself some questions, such as:

• If you could only take ten values with you into a strange and possibly dangerous territory, which are the ones you absolutely must have?
• What values would you fight for? Die for?
• What values are so important that you would quit a job if they were violated by your employer?
• How would people who knew you best describe what you are like? (Collins, 2009, pg. 1445-146)

So, what are your values? What words on that list resonate deep within you? Like Absolem said to Alice: "Whooooo aaaaaaare yooooooouuu?"

If you're traveling on this journey with me and you have a blog, please link up! It will be a lot of fun to go through this together!!If you don't have a blog, please leave what you discover in the comments section below!

To link up, simply use the Linky Tools link below, enter your blog address, title, and maybe a couple other things, and you're on your way!!