I'll go! Send me!

I just finished my Christian Coaching textbook. That might mean nothing...it might mean a lot.

I have no clue.

The last couple years have been awesome, yet very difficult for me. I feel like I've been creeping to the edge of a precipice on my hands and knees....

Actually, scratch that. The previous sentence implies that I can see the precipice...and I can't.

I don't know what's out there. Whatever it is, it's probably more like a mountain than the edge of a cliff, but I can't see it. I don't know where it is or what the terrain will look like when I get there. 

I'm just groping around in the dark, and every now and then, God gives me a little glimpse of something in the moonlight.

Josiah and I went to a Saturday night service last weekend at Freedom Life Church in Hampton. Josiah's friend Freddy Villarreal is the pastor. The service was awesome; the worship was upbeat and authentic, as was the preaching (Never fear MBC friends - we're not going anywhere. It can never hurt to praise God and hear another sermon though, can it?!).

Pastor Freddy's main point during the message was "GO." Just go. If you've been praying about it, it's inline with the gospel and scripture, and God is still laying it on your heart, then it's probably time to just go...keep praying, but go.

For a lot of people his message was probably inspiring. For me, it was kind of frustrating.

I'm a jump in with both feet kind of girl. For the last two years (since getting the call from God, which you can read about here), I have been jumping up and down waiving my arm like a mixture of Hermione and Lecrae...sitting on the very edge of my seat, saying..."Oh, oh, oh!!! I'll go! Send me! I'll go! Send me!Lemme Go!" (For those of my unfortunate friends who are contemporary film or Christian music challenged, Hermione is a character from Harry Potter, and Lecrae is a very awesome Christian rapper and speaker whose song, "Send Me" can be found here).

But I can't go yet...because while I kind of know where I'm supposed to be heading, He keeps giving me SUPER AWESOME things to slow me down. I'm not even being sarcastic there. The things He's given me are wonderful and irreplaceable - like 2 babies on the way in the last two years and homeschooling and finishing my degree - but that stuff will slow your roll, ya know? 

Pregnancy brain is NOT a fallacy people. I'm just looking forward to being able to form sentences without having to play charades because I forgot important words, much less form a nonprofit ministry, design a website, craft a vision, define a mission, and leap buildings in a single bound!!

In all reality, I'm probably not being completely fair to God in my assessment of the information He's given me over the last couple years. After all, after a lot of prayer and deliberation, we were able to discern that it was His will for me to stop working and stay at home (despite the fact that the math didn't work). The decision to homeschool wasn't far behind and was also Spirit-led. Then, Josiah and I both felt like He was pushing us to start a ministry.

I guess that's a lot of movement for a couple years' time, huh? It just FEELS SO SLOOOOOW.

And just now...right this very moment...I found a scripture that convicted me and lifted my spirits simultaneously:

"For still the vision awaits its appointed time;

it hastens to the end—

it will not lie.

If it seems slow, 

 it will surely come; it will not delay."

Habakkuk 2:3

Or how about this one from Psalm 27:14:

"Wait for the Lord;

be strong, and let your heart take courage;

wait for the Lord!"

While I started writing this post with no clear message or intention, God decided to make Himself clear through - shocker - His Word. It seems, for all the studying I've done in the Bible lately, all I really had to do was a 5 second Google search.

Someone remind me of that next time, please.

So, today, if you're anything like me, and you desperately want to move forward, but God seems to have other plans, meditate on these Scriptures (and the MANY others you can find just by googling "What the Bible says about God's timing" - I really do feel kind of idiotic).

God has a plan for your life...and mine. If we're waiting and willing, then He will surely reveal His plan in time...

but you better be ready to GO when He does!! Right Pastor Freddy?