Quick and Dirty: Are you a GOOD Christian?

(For those of you who are unfamiliar, a "Quick and Dirty" blog post here at Life Under Construction, is written on the fly with very little editing. Every now and then, it's just gotta get done.)

Every now and then, circumstances line up that give you an epiphany. 

This week, people everywhere have been talking about the Syrian refugee crisis, and more than once I've seen someone say, "I don't you telling me I'm a BAD Christian because...." A bad Christian.

Let's face it, no one wants to be a "bad Christian." We all want to be "good Christians," right?

I've also been reading Victory over the Darkness by Neil T. Anderson lately (which I wrote about here) about really KNOWING what your identity is in Christ.

Now, these two things would have coincided without me noticing, BUT THEN...

Yesterday, I was thinking about a situation. It's one where I was trying to FEEL differently because I was trying to FEEL the way I know a "GOOD" Christian should. But I couldn't...

So...I said, "that must mean I'm a bad Christian."

And that's when it hit me...there's no such thing. There's NO SUCH THING as a "good" or "bad" Christian. That's exactly what Mr. Anderson has been expressing in the chapter I was reading, it just took me a while to figure it out.

Christ died to save EVERYONE. If you've claimed Jesus Christ as your Savior, you're a Christian.

For God so loved the world,

that He gave His only begotten son

that whoever should believe in Him

shall not perish, but have everlasting life.

John 3:16

If you've put your faith in Christ, then you're a Christian.

I know what you might be thinking: Um...Alissa...there are bad Christians and good Christians. I've seen them. The man who's a deacon and studies his Bible all the time, that's a good Christian. The girl who's partying it up on Friday and Saturday and sitting her butt down in the church pew on Sunday, that's a bad Christian.

I know you might think that because that girl, the latter example, that was me for a while.

I've even thought to myself, I'm so different now...what if I was never even saved.

But that doesn't seem to make sense either. I've felt Jesus with me for as long as I can remember. I have him my heart long ago. Why, then, did I behave so foolishly at different points?

Because I didn't understand my IDENTITY in Christ. I didn't know WHO I was. I didn't realize my value.

I still don't...not all the way, anyway. 

Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation;

old things have passed away, and look, new things have come.

2 Corinthians 5:17

There's no middle ground. You're new or you're not.

So what happens?

Think about these 2 scenarios:

1. You have a benefactor that sends you money each month and takes care of your needs. You may know his name or a little about him, but that's about it. You just know the check comes every month.
2. You have a Dad. You love Him. He loves you. There's a relationship there. He would die for you; you know it, and you'd do anything for him.

In which scenario are you more secure? The money could always stop coming in the first, right? What if you fall out of grace?

See, Satan wants us to THINK that can happen to us. He wants us to think we're just one mistake away from too many. 

But that doesn't happen. He's our Heavenly Father, full of love and grace for His children.

Somewhere (and I don't have time to look it up at the moment) it says that the blood of Jesus has washed us clean. If you're a Christian, you now stand in front of God spotless and pure, no matter what you've done (Romans 3 maybe?).

I didn't get that. Every time I made a bad choice (and it was frequently because I wasn't looking to God for guidance). I hid my face in shame. I wasn't worthy.

The tricky part is, the more I hid my face in shame, the dirtier I felt, the worse my decisions got. 

I've said before that meeting Josiah and his family changed this for me, but I couldn't quite put my finger on HOW. Now, I know...they started to show me that my identity was in WHO I am, not what I had done.

When I understood that, I was able to look God full in the face, to begin to feel His grace. To understand that, no matter what, He wanted me to open myself up to Him...and He wanted me to get to know Him.

Anderson says it's being able to differentiate relationship from fellowship. You will always be your father's child. You can go to Timbuktu or Kalamazoo, and that won't change. Ever.

However, there can be a break of fellowship between you and your father. If you defy him, resist him, or run away from him, the relationship doesn't change (he's still your father), but things aren't right between you.

God is the perfect father. He's ALWAYS waiting for the prodigal to return, ALWAYS waiting for the stray sheep, ALWAYS seeking a return to fellowship with you.

You just have to be soft-hearted enough to receive Him.

So, if you're ever wondering if you're a good Christian or a bad Christian, wonder no more: there's no such thing.

You're just the same as the deacon with the Bible AND the girl doing the walk of shame on Sunday. 

Positionally, we're all the same.

But I URGE you to seek true fellowship with our Father. Walk with Him. Spend time with Him. Learn from Him. 

There's nothing like it.

A Quick and Dirty Talk About Modesty

A few minutes ago, a friend of mine posted this article about modesty and men's struggles. It's a pretty decent take on things, and it's worth a read.

This subject has been on my mind a lot lately, and has been the subject of many of Josiah's and my discussions. Therefore, the comment on my friend's page was so long I had to delete it and turn it into a blog post.

For those of you who aren't familiar with my "quick and dirty" posts, that just means they are written in a mad dash and no real editing has been done.

First, regarding the male's struggle with visual stimuli, I won't even pretend to get it...because I DON'T. We just don't. We all THINK we do, but I realized very recently that "men are visual" actually means something entirely different than I thought it did.

Within the last couple weeks I read For Women Only by Shaunti Feldhahn, and it was a game-changer. In it, she deals with this topic and explains what actually happens physiologically when a man sees a woman he finds attractive: an ENTIRELY different region of his brain lights up. You'd have to read the book to get the particulars, but it's one of the regions at the base of the skull...the part that registers pure biological instinct like hunger...or, for men, looking. That doesn't happen for women.

The reason I say this is a game-changer is because MEN REALLY CAN"T HELP IT...at least the first look. It IS up to them whether they continue to look after that point, but the struggle is real...and it is a STRUGGLE.

Now, regarding what women should and shouldn't wear, I don't think there's anything universal for that, I don't ever want to be legalistic about something that's not specifically described in the Bible. I will say this, though, the Bible does tell us that we should dress modestly, so we should at least think a little about that before we walk out the door with pieces showing.

But, there are a couple things no one is talking about.

Like...men's struggle with porn.

I know what you're thinking: WHAT?! Everyone is talking about that!!

But are they really? Sure, the man that wrote this article says he struggles, but Josiah and I have talked about this, and while Christian society is saying this is a problem, it's a problem no one seems to HAVE.

Hey fellas, any of your buddies tell you recently that they have a porn problem? Ask you to pray for their purity? Ask you to help keep them accountable?

No? Huh.

We are setting our Christian men up to fail, ladies...our husbands, our sons. They're roaming around in a world that tempts them at every turn, but we've shamed them to the point of suffering in silence.

They try to deal with the sin on our own, but no part of the body of Christ was ever meant to struggle alone.

So, that's the first thing no one is talking about - no one is fessing up to this habit.

The other thing no one is talking about is the female counterpart to this habit - and I don't mean romance novels, Nicholas Sparks movies, or a million shades of gray.

I'm talking about our need to be seen.

I know what a lot of you women are saying: I couldn't care less if men look at me! I never even think about it.

But I think that's a lie. I think we all care. I think we all want attention. We want to be seen and noticed by men. (Well, if you're heterosexual, but if you're not, then that's just a whole different issue.)

At the very least, I know this is true of me. Gary Thomas said something along these lines in one session of Sacred Marriage, and it really made me think: am I concerned about what my husband thinks of me or what other men think of me.

Well, Josiah, of course!! my self-righteousness said. However, something else nagged at the back of my mind. If that's true, then why do I still cry in front of my closet when I feel like I look awful...and my husband has told me he thinks I look beautiful.

That's a conundrum.

The more I thought about it, the more I realized what other people think, particularly men, does bother me. I hate that men don't ogle me like they used to when I was younger and thinner. I hate that I'm not noticed like I once was.

When I'm super hormonal and staring in the mirror with tears and snot running down my face, I say to myself, What happened? I used to be beautiful!

It's like Memory from Cats in my head.

And maybe I'm alone. Maybe I'm the only one that feels that way...but I don't think so.

I think any woman who gives this even a bit of honest self-analysis will probably feel the same way.

And, ladies, that's what WE need to get under control. It's not always WHAT we wear, but WHY we're wearing it that truly makes a difference.

Well, there it is...my rant on yoga pants, porn, and attention-seeking. Take from it what you will.

Quick and Dirty: A Visionary Flop

This one is going to be quick and dirty (written on the fly with little editing) because I feel like death and I'm buried under a ton of schoolwork, but I think it's important enough that I'm willing to take a few minutes out.

I've felt a little...attacked lately.

First, there's the whole gym thing. Since I started going to the gym, I've felt SO much better. I haven't dropped a ton of weight or anything, but it's only been about a month, and that's just not the point. The point is, I FEEL better when I go.

However, within a couple weeks of rejoining, my ankle (which hasn't given me major problems in over a year) locked while I was simply sitting on the floor helping Ryan put together a puzzle...completely random. And do you know when I stopped going to the gym last time? Yup...when the same thing happened to my ankle.

I was bound and determined this time, though...nothing was going to keep me from working out - so I decided to take some aqua aerobics classes. Yes, there are old people in there and you feel pretty stupid running around a pool, BUT I felt GREAT after my first aqua kickboxing class, and I was determined to continue.

Until this week, when I got hit with some sort of pulmonary virus (a.k.a. "chest funk") that landed me flat on my butt. Seriously, I woke up Tuesday feeling like I had an elephant on my chest and by the end of the day I was out of breath if I tried to move. Today, I'm at about 45%...so better, but still no gym.

But guess what? The first day I feel I'm no longer infecting the world with my funk, I'm going to be in that gym. I don't care if I just walk on a treadmill at 3.0 mph for 20 minutes...I'll be there.

And then there's the think with the ministry. I don't know if you've noticed, but I'm still blogging from Life Under Construction - not Seeking the Symphony. I've made ZERO headway lately with the ministry...and I assure you, I've felt like a super failure because of it.

Furthermore, EVERYTHING I've come in contact with has talked about praying BIG prayers, dreaming BIG dreams, seeing the VISION, leading with PASSION...you get the idea.

But that's not how I feel lately. I feel like I've lost the vision. I feel like the vision and the dream and everything else has gotten lost in the mundane, everyday tasks of life, like homeschooling and my classes and...I dunno...life.

I feel like a visionary flop.

I had this conversation with Josiah the other day, and poor guy...I happened to look to him for emotional support on a day where he was pretty low himself. I attacked him with questions like, "How do we know we're really doing the right thing by starting the ministry? Why isn't God giving me more information if this is the way we're supposed to go? What do you think? How do you feel? How do we know for sure?!" His response was basically "I think we are going the right way, but I don't know." Poor guy...there's nothing like getting attacked while you're trying to cook dinner. So then I did what I should have done in the first place:

I went into my bedroom, got on my knees, and cried out to God. I poured out my heart to Jesus right there on my bedroom floor.

Sometimes, it takes God a while to answer our prayers, but sometimes...sometimes He answers right away...and this time that's exactly what he did.

Right there, while I was praying, he reminded me that he HAS given me a vision...at Women of Faith a year and a half ago (you can read about that here). Heck, I just stood on stage at church talking about it last weekend. Is Seeking the Symphony part of that vision? Maybe...maybe not. Either way, fail or succeed, it's a stepping stone for us and I truly believe it's God's will for us.

He also reminded me that I've felt discouraged about this before...my lack of a solid plan where the ministry is concerned, and what He told me THEN was that I needed to follow the steps He's given me for now, and then He'll give me the next pieces...and guess what? I haven't finished those yet.

And I think I know why.

Today He reminded me that sometimes He slows us down on purpose because we have more to learn before we can proceed.

Before I started back to school, I started working with some Dreamweaver tutorials so I could learn how to build the StS website, but then, as I said, I got sidetracked by life. But sometimes, God builds His lessons into our lives -

Like today, when I realized that this week's presentations in my Digital Imaging class are all about building webpages in Photoshop...to then be linked with Dreamweaver if necessary.

I hope you know what this feels like. I hope you know what it feels like when God reaches down and gently wraps His hands around you and reminds you that He is in control, that He has already prepared works for you to walk in, and "in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose" (Romans 8:28).

Ours is a mighty, loving God. El Shaddai - God Almighty. El-roi - the God who sees me.

See, here's the deal. Maybe I'm not being attacked. Maybe that's just my imagination. Either way, there are some trials, and you know what? I'm thankful for them. Through them, God is producing endurance and maturing me, making me full and complete, lacking nothing (James 1:2).

Let's face it - He has His work cut out for Him, but every day He works on me, and for that, I am exceedingly grateful.

Quick and Dirty: Just Say It

Alright this one is going to be quick and dirty (on the fly and no editing). I feel led to write it, but I don't have a lot of time today, so please forgive me!

I've been struggling some lately with writing...wondering if this is really what God wants me to do, or if I just think it is because I LOVE it so much. If you read the blog, then you know I've also been struggling with seeking approval from others, too.

Well, I've been praying a lot about both...and then God moved.

Just when I stopped seeking the approval, and just when I stopped reaching, He reached out for me.

First, I got an email back that I'd been hoping for, and it served as confirmation that I'm on the right track.

I also got a message from sweet young lady saying that a blog I wrote was just what she needed in her relationship.

Then, last night at church, I had multiple people tell me they've been reading the blog and that it touched them in some way.

Finally, I got a voice mail this morning from a dear friend. She left it last weekend, but I am HORRIBLE at checking my voice mail. She said God was working through me and my blog. She had been at a meeting after reading my blog on letting our light shine, and she brought up the post and it touched people.

Hear this...my grandmother always said "self praise is no recommendation," and that's not what this is. I know FULL WELL that this isn't me...it's God moving in me because let me tell you, my nature is dirty: self-seeking, willful, and deceitful. It's only Him working in me that makes this blog worth anything.

What's the point then? He's not just using me. 

Each person that felt led to tell me how they felt about my blog or how it touched them allowed God to use them! They were encouragers (yeah...I made up a word).

That's the moral of the story today folks. If you feel led to give someone encouragement, but you don't want to because you'd feel stupid or you're sure they already know, DO IT ANYWAY.

Do not let any unwholesome talk come from your mouths, 

but only what is helpful for building others up 

according to their needs, 

that it may benefit those who listen.

Ephesians 4:29 (NIV, emphasis added)

This verse says "according to their needs," but how do you know what someone else needs?

You don't. 

It's not our job to figure out how God works, it's only our job to do what He wants.

So today, if God lays it on your heart to encourage someone...just say it. You never can tell what may become of it.


Linking up with:

Juana Mikels