The Best Right Way

Last weekend, I was on my way to pick up my daughter from her dad's house, and I accidentally passed the on-ramp for interstate, which is my normal route. With that option gone, what lay before me was a seemingly endless selection of routes.

It felt like suddenly there were 6 trillion options. I went through a ton of them in my head until finally (about 45 seconds later), I gave up and did the only thing that seemed wise at the time: "Google, take me to...."

Friends, this isn't just a destination I know; it's where I lived at one point in my life. I've been going there for a couple decades now, and yet, I found myself following the Google lady's voice commands to somewhere I knew the way to. Why?

Because I wanted to know the BEST route to get there, and for that, I needed help.

The next morning, I was reading the book of Joshua. In Chapter 9, a chunk of people groups banded together to fight against the Israelites, who, with God's help, were conquering their way toward the promised land. The Gibeonites, however, chose a different tactic. They duped the Israelites into a treaty by pretending they were from a far away land.

A couple verses stuck out to me, though. 

Then the men of Israel took some of their provisions,

but did not seek the Lord's counsel.

So Joshua established peace with them

and made a treaty to let them live,

and the leaders of the community swore an oath to them.

Joshua 9:14-15

The men were examining the Gibeonites' story, but they missed a crucial step: consulting the Lord.

To the Israelites' natural eyes, everything seemed as they said; it appeared they were from far away because their provisions were all nasty, crumbly, and stale. But because they didn't consult the Lord, they were deceived by their senses.

It made me think of my GPS moment the night before, and friends, I know I am not the first to make the God:GPS analogy. We've all heard it before. But I hope you'll hang with me here because this put a new spin on it for me.

Christians have an enemy; he is a deceiver. He would have me turn away from God's path for me if He can. And here's the kicker, y'all, it often isn't a path that looks like doom and gloom; it looks like a perfectly decent, respectable path, but one that isn't of the Lord.

When I met with my friend, Jackie, last week, she said, "Our choice often isn't between right and wrong, it's between right and almost right." Tell me that isn't one of the most brilliant things you've ever heard. I'm getting that sucker put on a bumper sticker (not really - I don't do bumper stickers).

But she's right. The only way to know whether we're going the right direction is to seek the will of the Lord, consistently, even in the seemingly simple things - even when you think you already know where you're going.

There are a couple areas of my life, where God has shown me at least a little piece of His plan for me, where I'm "going," you could say. But only He knows the best way for me to get there. If left to my own devices, I'll try to take the "quickest" or "easiest" route, only to land in a place God never wanted me to be. 

I know these things because I've screwed it up a time or twelve. I've tried to kick down doors that weren't mine, rush headlong into things I wasn't anywhere near ready for, and find positions at tables I had no business sitting at.

Friends, the results of that weren't pretty. God's grace is always there, and His mercy is new each morning, but His discipline stings sometimes. But that's what loving fathers do - correct their children.

I'm learning to consult the Lord, even when a decision seems like a "no-brainer," and then (the hard part), actually wait for His answer. I'm trying not to rush things. I'm trying to trust not just His plan, but His timing in it.

So, the next time you need to make a decision about life (or just heading across town), try consulting the only One who knows exactly which way you should go. It may not be the easiest route, but I promise it'll be the best. 

Marriage Renovations: Blueprints HIS Way

Photo credit: mikeg1968 Etsy Shop

In this series, Josiah and I are talking about the "renovations" God has recently made in our marriage, and how to negotiate your own marital renovation project.

When you're building from scratch, you start with the foundation and build up. In a Christian marriage, the foundation is Jesus Christ. He is the cornerstone. He is the rock you build on.

Josiah and I had this part already, praise God. (If you don't, but you'd like to know how, get with us!)

Nevertheless, even when you've built on a strong foundation, and you sincerely love your home, there are times when you need to do renovations.

Today, Josiah discusses what the Blueprints phase of the remodel looked like for HIM. You can catch up on what's already been written here:

Marriage Renovations: Intro
Marriage Renovations: Demo Day HER Way
Marriage Renovations: Demo Day HIS Way
Marriage Renovations: Blueprints HER Way

This is a hardhat area, folks. Strongholds are falling.

PHASE 2: Blueprints - Josiah Style

When we got home from the leadership retreat in Cape Charles, I decided I needed to read the books I had promised Alissa I would probably a year prior, but hadn't finished.

And I did need to. For me.

And I didn't just read them, I studied them.

I didn't grasp what God was doing inside of Alissa, or inside of me, or where He was leading us.

For Men Only (by Jeff Feldhaun) helped me understand some of the things that were going on with my wife that I didn't really grasp like I thought I did.

And the other book (For Women Only by Saunti Feldhaun)? Yep. I needed that one too. And it helped me explain to Alissa some of the emotions I was having when I wasn't really able to explain my feelings very clearly.

My wife is vocal and assertive, but the books helped me put two and two together. In some areas, I may not understand exactly what she's feeling all of the time, but I CAN understand why she feels that way.

A couple weeks later, Alissa and I FINALLY ended up taking dance lessons because it was really cheap and made for a series of very fun dates. And they were really about to expire.

(Note to the guys: DO THIS. There's no reason to be embarrassed. It will only be you two and the instructor. It is an investment in your wife, and you WILL see her radiate with the fact that you thought of her. There are places to purchase these at a very discount rate, so even if you can't afford much, this should be doable. If you need assistance with this, please contact me, and I can point you in the right direction.)

So we went to the first lesson, and I felt like I caught on fairly quickly, but not as quickly as I personally would like. I think as part of my masculinity, I want to walk in and get it all immediately. To get it right the first time.

In everything I do, I want desperately to walk in and find out that this one thing is the one area that I am amazing at without really trying.

You know, just do nothing but wake up in the morning and realize I was a hidden Mozart, Beethoven, or Fred Astaire (in this case)...something.

But that's not realistic, and I couldn't do that because I was learning... and learning how to do something so much more important than how to dance.

I was learning how to lead.

After the second lesson, on the way home, Alissa told me how much more she appreciated it when I led her firmly.

How can I lead my wife firmly in dancing?

Learning. Following someone who knows. Knowing someone who has been there and can give me direction.

1 Timothy 3:1 says “If anyone aspires to be an overseer, he desires a noble work.”

Woohoo! I want to be noble. Better yet I want to be known as noble to my wife, but...

How can I lead my wife and kids at home, every day?

Learning. Following someone who knows.

God.

Luckily, 1 Timothy 3 goes on to give a checklist. I can do checklists.

“Therefore an overseer must be above reproach,

a husband of one wife,

self-controlled, sensible, respectable,

and hospitable and an able teacher.

Not addicted to wine, not a bully but gentle,

not quarrelsome, and not greedy.”

I was looking at this... above reproach? Well. I'm a sinner, so not exactly, but for the most part... sure. A husband of one wife. Check. Self-controlled. Check. Sensible? I think so. Hospitable? Sure. Able teacher?

A mentor?

Is that me? In ways I don't understand at the moment, maybe. Not really.

Not intentionally. Not with purpose.

Do I have a spiritual mentor?

Not really. Maybe some in ways I don't understand at the moment. So maybe, but not really.

Not intentionally. Not with purpose.

In another book I've been studying, that I hadn't read since I was teenager, it talks about how the decisions you make, make you.

I heavily underlined 3 words.

Plan. Purpose. Persevere.

Without a plan on what to do, it's all too easy to not do anything.

Without purposing your plan, and making your moves intentionally, you won't accomplish anything... your plans are just a pipe dream.

Without perseverance through the difficult times – if you give up – then those who would look up to you won't have a reason to.

These are words of a lot of strength, and there are a ton of applications.

In your marriage, in your teaching, in your following, in your studying...

Plan. Purpose. Persevere.

After all, what are blueprints? PLANS.

Corinthians 3 Thursday: Got Gifts?

Since the creation of Earth there has been a plan. Part of that plan included an individual who was absolutely unique. No other person in the world has ever been or will ever be exactly the same...and that person is YOU.

Your eyes saw my unformed body;

all the days ordained for me were written in your book

before one of them came to bstruggle with the laste.

Psalm 139:16

You are fearfully and wonderfully made by the Creator of this universe to do something and be something special! He made you unique, and that's what we're talking about today. How are you unique?

What are your strengths and weaknesses?

What are your talents?

What are your spiritual gifts?

If you're anything like me when I was first presented with this question, then you're probably familiar with the answers to the first couple questions, but at the last your eyes glazed over and you could hear crickets chirping.

I'm a talker...DUH. Communication has always been a strength of mine. I'm a semi-decent leader, too. My weaknesses? I hate confrontation, and will avoid it at all costs...and sometimes those costs are great. I can also take on too much, which means I'm not wise with my energy and I end up not putting forth the effort I should on the important stuff. Talents? I speak, write, act, and sing. 

But that's the easy part. Most of us have known what we were "good at" since we were small. The world is fantastic about telling us exactly where our strengths lie...well, to be more accurate, it's good at telling us where our strengths don't lie. 

Take some time to think about the answers to the first two questions now. List them out...I dare you. Seeing yourself on paper is different. It helps solidify the concept of "you" in your mind.

Okay...now for the third one. You can tackle this one a couple ways. 

First, you could just do what I did and take Elmer Towns' Spiritual Gifts Assessment. It takes about 10-15 minutes, and after seeing some other people's results (including mine) I say it's pretty accurate.

OR, for those of you who are bound and determined not to take an assessment, you can take a look at the list below and see which gifts seem the most "you" (from Appendix G of Christian Coaching by Gary Collins). Once you're done with that, go back and look at the ones you checked and rate them as a 1, 2, or 3. 1=very strong and descriptive of you. 2=somewhat strong and descriptive of you. 3=least descriptive of the items you checked. 

Administration	Shepherding	Intercession
Craftsmanship	Wisdom	Leadership
Evangelism	Apostleship	Prophecy
Giving	Creative Communication	Teaching
Hospitality	Encouragement	Healing *
Knowledge	Faith	Miracles *
Mercy	Helps	Counseling **
Interpretation *	Celibacy **	Serving **
Tongues *	Music **
*   These gifts are not included in some lists because they are more easily identified.
** These gifts are not listed in Scripture but are identified by some Christians as spiritual gifts.

The list of 1s may be your spiritual gifts. However, to confirm this, you may want to give the list to someone who knows you well to repeat the process. That may give you a stronger idea of the areas in which God has gifted you.

"The areas in which God has gifted you." That is an awesome phrase!! Our living God has chosen to give each of us gifts to go along with our completely unique personalities so that we may accomplish the plans He set out for us!! 

As each has received a gift, use it to serve one another, as good stewards of God's varied grace: whoever speaks, as one who speaks oracles of God; whoever serves, as one who serves by the strength that God supplies—in order that in everything God may be glorified through Jesus Christ. To him belong glory and dominion forever and ever. Amen. 1 Peter 4:10-11

Amen, indeed! 

When I got my spiritual gifts assessment results, I was a little surprised, not by what they were, but by the fact that they were four...and they were dead even. However, that's not really too big of a shocker when you look at the rest of my life. 

I'm a dabbler. I have a tendency to be a "jack of all trades, but master of none." So, when Mr. Towns' assessment tagged me at dead even in Teaching, Exhortation, Mercy Showing, and Shepherding, there may have been initial surprise, but then it made sense. Plus, they kind of just go together in a lot of ways. 

What about you? How has God made you unique? What are your strengths, talents, and gifts?

This is really important because, combined with what we've done the last two weeks, this will help us construct our visions and missions next week! We're almost done assessing where we are, and then we get to move forward!!

Please comment or link below! And feel free to grab my button on the right, too!

If you're just now joining us, Corinthians 3 Thursdays are designed to help us find our pursue our individual callings based upon two Corinthians verses: 1 Corinthians 3:8-11 and  2 Corinthians 3:17-18. As  guide, we're using the book Christian Coaching by Gary Collins. For more information, you can visit this post or any of the earlier Corinthians 3 Thursday posts below:

Corinthians 3 Thursday Post 1: Clarifying Values
Corinthians 3 Thursday Post 2: Pursuing Passion