I didn’t really sleep last night. As a matter of fact, I haven’t been sleeping very much at all lately.
I woke up this morning to do my quiet time at 5:15, just like every morning, but I was just SO tired. I got out of bed and stumbled across the room to my alarm and reset it for 6:00. I don’t have the kids this week, so I can do my quiet time after work.
Or so I thought.
I laid there for a few minutes, but I felt the insistent prodding. The almost audible voice inside my head kept insisting, “Obey me. Follow me.”
For some of you, that’s going to sound a little crazy, but others will completely get it.
I heard it. I tried to push it away by staying just a few more minutes cuddling with my husband. I tried to drown it out with my pillow. Finally, I just obeyed.
My quiet time was short this morning because I laid in the bed those extra few minutes. I just read the excerpt and Scriptures in my “Jesus Calling” book. Normally, I feel like those aren’t enough for a full quiet time, so I use those in conjunction with something else (currently, that’s normally The Resolution for Women). However, this morning that little message was all I needed. It was just for me, and as I thought about it in the shower, slowly sweeping the morning cobwebs from my brain, I realized the full message.
He’s gently breaking me.
I know that’s an oxymoron, but it’s absolutely true. I’ve learned to go to him through the hard stuff. If something major happened right this second I would fall on my knees in prayer in a heartbeat…less probably.
But He’s teaching me to come to Him all the time. To pray…without ceasing...continually.
He wants me to turn to Him in ALL things, great and small, so He is giving me the small things.
When I’m tired, He wants me to turn to Him.
When I’m frustrated with the kids, He wants me to turn to Him.
When I’m bored at work and can’t concentrate, He wants me to turn to Him.
In all things…always…continually.
Normally, I feel like this is the small stuff I should handle on my own because He has bigger fish to fry, but I realize in doing that now I’m underestimating my God and His capabilities.