The Prodigal Friend

I don't really have time to sugar-coat things this morning, so we're just going to get down to some raw reality.

I sat in church on Sunday and listened to a woman give a testimony that was very touching. I appreciated every minute of it, but I sat right there in my church pew and let envy crawl all over me (okay, I was in a chair, actually, because we were in the Family Life Center...same thing).

What caused this reaction during this lovely, emotionally charged testimony?

She was thankful for her best girlfriend.

That's all.

She was so desperately thankful for her best girlfriend, and then, later, I saw pictures of them on facebook together...and again, I felt so envious.

God doesn't like envy. I don't know where to even begin to illustrate this Biblically because it's just all over the place. But we'll start here:

But if you have bitter envy and selfish ambition in your heart,

don't brag and lie in defiance of the truth.

Such wisdom does not come down from above,

but is earthly, sensual, and demonic.

For where envy and selfish ambition exist,

there is disorder and every kind of evil.

(James 3:14-16)

OUCH, right?

So, because I'd prefer to not be filled with "disorder and every kind of evil," I suppose we should get down to removing this envy.

There are going to be people who read this who will be so confused because I am their friend. There will also be people who will be confused because I don't look like I need any more friends.

First, one can never have too many friends. I love friends.

Second, I do have wonderful girlfriends. I have beautiful women in my life that love me and I love them.

So why the envy?

Because I'm missing out on the deeper relationships! I want a bestie! (or 5...whatever). I want to feel deep in my heart like I have girlfriends who are always there, who want to spend time with me, and who get me. Why don't I feel that way?!

Because I'm not taking care of those relationships. 

I'm not taking care of my friends. There's a nasty, hard reality.

I'm a busy girl, right? When this degree is done, then I'll have time to foster my friendships. After Christmas, I'll have more time to spend with them. When I'm done with this project or that project, then there will be more time.

Consider this verse:

And let us consider 

how we may spur one another on

toward love and good deeds,

not giving up meeting together, 

as some are in the habit of doing,

but encouraging one another-

and all the more as you see the Day approaching.

(Hebrews 10:24-25)

We always see it and say, "See? That's why we go to church!" But honestly, is that it? I don't think so. When was the last time you really had time to spur someone on toward love and good deeds on Sunday morning? Not just in Sunday School or passing in the hallway while you herd your children, but on a deep personal level?

Exactly.

If I want to have a bestie or 5, then I am going to have to MAKE time, just like every other relationship in my life. 

I will not be close to Jesus if I don't make time for him. 

I will not be close to my husband if I don't make time for him.

I will not be close to my children if I don't make time for them.

I will not be close to my friends if I don't make time for them.

In the middle of the night last night I woke up dreaming of the parable of "The Prodigal Son" and for the life of me, I couldn't figure out why. I prayed that God would help me find the reason, if there was one. I didn't get it until JUST NOW, in the middle of writing this post. I actually took the time to look up the word "prodigal." It means this: "spending money or resources freely or recklessly; wastefully extravagant." 

OUCH.

I have been so wastefully extravagant with my friends and have not guarded my friendships as I should.

What's even more convicting about the whole thing is that, when I woke up thinking about the parable in the middle of the night, I woke up thinking about the son's humility. He came back to his father groveling...not that the father required that, but it was still necessary for his own heart. He had to be broken by his behavior.

So here I sit...broken by my wastefulness and truly repentant.

To my friends, if you're reading this, please forgive me (although I'm sure I'll be getting in touch with you personally). Please forgive me, and please help me. Please drag me out of my house, away from my books and the 8 million other things I have going on. Please help me foster a deeper relationship with you.

I miss you, and I love you.

Most sincerely,

Your prodigal friend

Linking up with:

Time Warp Wife

Juana Mikels

Simply Beth