I could see the exhaustion in your eyes, and it made me hurt for you. You work so hard for us and try diligently every day to be the best husband and step-dad possible. You love my children. You love me.
I hurt for you. And yet...
I still made you go out in the rain last night. I watching you drag in after a long day and head to the shower. I watched the trees swaying ominously in the backyard. I prayed. I had a plan after all.
I needed us desperately to do what we do: go to Fresh Market to look at all the amazing cool, expensive stuff we won't indulge in, only to get to the sweets section where we will.
You went...because I asked you to. I could tell you didn't want to go, and my heart pounded the entire way there, but you went.
I casually tried to walk into the store, when all I really wanted to do was sprint to the bakery (well, sprint-hobble with my bad ankle). I didn't though. I looked at not-ripe-enough-yet avocados, ripe-but-too-pricey mangoes, and Chicken a la Venezia. Meandering. Yelling inside.
When we finally arrived at the bakery, I'd had enough of the show. Like a spy in a cheesy B-movie I ever so not casually asked the worker if he had any "special" cupcakes back in the back...like I was asking for "special brownies" only this was way different.
You expressed confusion by the fact that I wasn't even looking at the cupcakes, and even more when the knowing bakery boy reached into the case and pulled out Mr. Special Cupcake.
I was disappointed...it was hard to read. I wanted the message to be so clear. I had waited since 10:30 a.m., and I needed desperately for the secret to be in the open.
"What the heck?!" you were thinking. "Why are you trying to read bakery kid's 'special cupcake'?!"
So, I showed you this:
I read it to you in case it wasn't clear. "It says, 'Dad 2 Be.'"
I looked in your eyes and watched my special message sink in. I was so nervous...so happy...but so nervous.
"You took a test today then?"
"No...I took two."
Clarity, hugs, kisses, and another cupcake for me.
We grabbed drinks, bought our goodies, and sat down to consume them and I had you pose like this:
The rest of the evening was a "tell it to family" party, and it was fun. Everyone is so elated...well, almost everyone, but she'll come around, too.
I can tell you're scared...excited, but scared. We left it up to God to tell us when we should have a baby, but neither of us dreamed He'd say, "right away!!" There are a million things to consider, and a thousand more decisions to be made.
But it will all be okay. Because we have Him...and He gave us this:
And that will get us through this amazing adventure...and all the rest of them, too.
I love you, Josiah...with all my heart and soul. You're already the best step-daddy, and you're going to be a great daddy, too.
Your adoring wife