I am just heartbroken. Absolutely broken.
I haven't spoken with my mom in a month and a half. I miss her. I miss my momma so much.
But I don't know where she went. She's just not there anymore. Her physical body is there, but my momma is gone.
I want to pour out my heart here, but the backspace key keeps gnawing away my pain. It's trashy to expose family business right? Hush your mouth and don't you dare tell anyone.
Maybe it's just a sign that I'm part of a performing voyeuristic generation. We are all Jimmy Stewart sitting at the rear window, and yet, we're also the entertainment in the apartments across the way.
Is it reassurance we seek?
Are we just voices crying out, desperate to be heard in this impersonal wired world?
Or maybe we just like to air dirty laundry. Pretty words on a blog or "you are not the father" on Maury. Is it all the same?
All I know is that I'm broken.
I've prayed about my course of action. I've sought advice from those who share my beliefs and know the situation.
And this is the way it has to be...for now.
But I miss my momma.
Saturday, July 14, 2012
Alissa Coburn is a lover of Jesus, the wife of her best friend, and of the mother of 6 beautiful children...whom she adores, but make her question her sanity daily. She also aspires to write and speak professionally, which she feels very deeply is her calling. "What I tell you in the dark, speak in the daylight; what is whispered in your ear, proclaim from the roofs." (Matt 10:27)